Ask an Escort- by XtcgrlATL

[socko]

I've wondered for some time now... If all I want is simple and fun non-commital sex, it is almost absurdly easy it is to get laid off of Craigslist*... for free. So what sorts of freaks, weirdos, and misfits do you have to deal with that they're so broken they can't even find someone in CL that will have sex with them?

I would be one of those freaks. I cannot get it for free, not even on Craigslist.
IMO, Craigslist is still cheaper and easier than maintaining a girl friend, and you don't have to deal with the probelms and difficulties that come along with tryign to find and then having a girlfriend or even a free hookup you meet at a bar. Well I admit it could be that I am very bad at picking girlfriends so maybe they're not all that way.
My question for xtcglratl:
How do you treat former customers when you see them in random places in public? If they recognize you and try to initiate conversation how do you react?

 

[threesfoursfives]

nice thread.
Can you share some experience you've had seeing couples?
My GF and I plan to spend our second anniversary with a escort. We are both keen on the idea, though I want to know more about exactly what i am to expect and any tips on making it run smoothly - I have no experience with escorts whatsoever.

 

[SvnLyrBrto]

That's a funny image to have of my clientèle.

Well, that's why I asked. I'm sorry to have been somewhat offensive about the way I worded it, but in my own experience, it *is* easy enough to find free casual sex on the 'net, that I *DO* really wonder what's gong on that someone has to pay.

My own example was actually real. Normally, I'm not even into that sort of thing anymore, but I was on the rebound from a breakup and was just so... fucking... lonely. So I cruised Craigslist. And he and I wound up with a fairly good: "whenever we're both single and both horny, and when he didn't have midterms or finals, we'd get together and take care of each other" sort of thing for a while... until he got his masters and moved out of town, that is.

And if a socially-misfit computer geek like *ME* can get laid easily from craigslist...

Okay... I've gone off-topic. So I'll should shut up. I mainly wanted to apologize if I was offensive in the way I worded my original post and explain the state of mind that lead to that particular phrasing.


cya,
john

 

[xtcgrlatl]

Do you think that some female sex workers end up hating men because of negative experiences on the job?

I think a sane girl would get out of the business before the damage got that bad. I have bad experiences from time to time but I can't imagine it making me hate men. I think that some girls are more suited for this business then others and then the type of clients you attract will have something to do with it and that all depends on how you look and how you present yourself

If you're a cheap craigslist chick that presents herself as a trashy whore that tries to get ahead by undercutting everyone with cheap prices then you'll attract trashy guys and I can imagine you coming out the worse for it in the end.

If you are genuinely professional and have a touch of class then I think you'll probably attract a generally more tactful group of gentlemen and have less to complain about.

Do you get a lot of men who complain about their wives/partners to you? From what I've read on other boards, a lot of married men aren't just dissatisfied with the lack of sex in their marriage, they genuinely seem to despise their wives, and also women in general. Is this consistent with your experience?

Most guys dont talk about their personal lives, all of them seem to be married, most dont mention it but I still see the ring pretty often, some of them straight up complain about their wives, some of them casually mention that their wife has lost interest in sex completely, some of them say they love their wife and seem genuine with it but still want to try being with someone new.

I've seen some outspoken hobbyists on various boards that I think give the overall client population a bad name with their shitty attitudes on a lot of subjects but in my experience the outspoken ones are in the minority.

Lastly, since we're asking the sexpert - my boyfriend and I are mutually monogamous and have a very good sex life. What would be your tip for making great sex better? Neither of us is into BDSM/hard kink/rough trade, but beyond that and monogamy, we don't really have any limits. Any tricks I should know about?

You know, honestly, I don't think I have any real over the top mind blowing "tricks". It's all just playing around and finding someones buttons. I like to kind of gently nibble on peoples ears, i guess a lot of guys have never had that happen and it drives them nuts. Some guys like their nipples played with so I'll usually give everyone a little tweak here and there to see if it elicits a reaction if it does then I might ask if they like it and if they do I'll keep at it from time to time.

I guess it's worth keeping in mind that sex the commodity and sex in the context of a relationship are very different. I generally only have to be really good at mostly standard vanilla sex one time for about half an hour. I dont have to keep introducing new tricks or experimenting to keep things interesting, I just kind of try to find find peoples buttons and once I find buttons I look for others and then just push them. Since most people share common buttons it's pretty simple.

But my overall approach is that I try and suggest a lot of different positions, I try and make sure that whatever I am doing I am giving them the best view of the parts of my body they want to see. My closet towards the foot of the bed has two big mirrors as the doors and sometimes watching the action in the mirror is fun for them and sometimes even for me.

From the 8's and 9's in "performance" on my review page it seems I'm doing some things right but like I said I only have to make that one good showing and then all is well. In a relationship it's about finding variety and having an open mind and communication with each other to find mutual satisfaction.

Perhaps in some ways what I do is about satisfying ego as much as it is about satisfying sexual urges because the more fun I appear to be having the more fun my client appears to be having and that almost seems more key then what's actually going on.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

I idealy for me I would like to find a chick that would be a regular 2-3 times a month gig where we could meet for dinner and then finish with desert at her place.
I am financially well off but if I am taking an escort to an exclusive 5 star restaurant it would be nice if that experience in and of itself would be compensation enough for that part of the evening.Let me ask, do you have any regular clients that you enjoy spending time with and have built friendly relationships with over time?

I think you could find a girl who was open to that arrangement. It'd just take some looking around. Some girls have nothing but $$ in their eyes but some of us are more open to "off the clock" datey style activities then others.

Some of them that are wary at first might open up to it after meeting you a time or two.

I have a couple clients that I've done the dinner and desert thing with, dinner's always off the clock with me but I do kind of expect to be compensated for the desert time since that is how we make our living

 

[xtcgrlatl]

If you met a guy and you wanted to settle down with him as a husband/BF/in a long term relationship would you tell him about how you are/were into doing sex for pay?

After some thinking about how to answer this, eventually, probably.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

How do you treat former customers when you see them in random places in public? If they recognize you and try to initiate conversation how do you react?

I've only seen one former client unexpectedly "out in the world" he was having dinner at the same place I was but I had company and so did he so the issue didnt present itself as you've outlined.

I think i'd be a little shocked if a former client came up and started talking to me while I am with other people but i'd probably play it off smooth. If he came up and just said hi to me personally while I'm alone then I'd converse as normal

 

[xtcgrlatl]

nice thread.
Can you share some experience you've had seeing couples?
My GF and I plan to spend our second anniversary with a escort. We are both keen on the idea, though I want to know more about exactly what i am to expect and any tips on making it run smoothly - I have no experience with escorts whatsoever.

I have no experience with couples whatsoever I get asked about it from time to time but have never actually had a couple session go through. It's not really something I advertise that I cater to and when people ask about it I'm always a little uncertain on the phone and I think that comes through and they probably try a girl who specifically offers couple services in their ad.

I guess for some reason I would have a harder time opening up the door to a couple and seeing a woman that I dont find attractive. If I dont find a guy attractive it's not a big deal. If I am going to be able to do my best in a couple session the other girl needs to be hot

My only threesome business experiences are where it's me and my escort roomie working some guy over together. I am comfortable with her but would have a harder time getting comfortable with another female as part of a client package.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

Well, that's why I asked. I'm sorry to have been somewhat offensive about the way I worded it, but in my own experience, it *is* easy enough to find free casual sex on the 'net, that I *DO* really wonder what's gong on that someone has to pay.

Well as someone pointed out the fact that you're a gay guy probably has a lot to do with it. Guys are just hornier and more open to the idea of casual hookups via the internet then girls are.

Especially hot girls. Especially young hot girls. especially young hot girls that are sexually open minded enough to consider "random no strings hook up via the internet". Most girls that are that sexually open minded enough to do that and hot enough to attract a lot of interest will soon figure out that they don't have to do it for free.

 

[poopie]

wow, this is the most education i've received in...well, god knows how long. it's like walking around my boyfriend's head (window into the unknown...).

so, here are my questions:
how did you get involved (i'm about to go check the old thread, but i'm lazy too)?
how was the first time?
when you're on a date, how honest are you? is it your true personality that shines through?
and, i'm not trying to get into details, but how big of a city do you live in? call me naive, but i'm under the impression that this isn't exactly commonplace (yeah, i'm not checking out craig's list...unless i need a new dining room table).

i think that's it.

btw, thank you so much. i think many people are so curious about this- obviously...

edit: i seriously must have down syndrome. i just figured out the locale. oh wow! i am an r-tard.

 

[socko]

Thanks for the reply xtcgrlatl.

poopie, I think it's more common than you think. I even used to know a girl who was paying her way through grad school this way. ANd nobody ever would have guessed it.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

how did you get involved (i'm about to go check the old thread, but i'm lazy too)?

Just hanging out in chat rooms trying to meet people (I was much shyer, once upon a time) I'd occasionally get a solicitation, some guy would message me and offer me like some amount of money for some sexual activity. They were always low ball offers like 50 bucks or something and I always blew those off but it did plant a seed that just kind of stagnated for a while.

At some point I found myself in need of money and I read "the shy girls guide to becoming a whore" and posted an ad on an adult personals site. I got bites but took my ad down pretty quick because I got cold feet. One guy however kept in touch...

how was the first time?

Awkward I think I was like 20 and It took me a long time just sitting and chitchatting the guy till I finally got comfortable enough to let the action flow. Once we got rolling things went ok.

Then I didnt do it again for a while until I reached a point in my life where I was having trouble getting a job around age 22, I thought back to my first time and how easy it was once i got past the awkwardness, so I posted another ad on an adult personals site, had some decent success, posted on an actual escort site and did pretty well for myself and it's just kind of grown from there.

when you're on a date, how honest are you? is it your true personality that shines through?

Usually, yeah. I try and come across as a very approachable "girl next door" type in my ad and I think that's completely accurate to how I am. If a guy is weirding me out or hurting me or doing something physically uncomfortable then a little more acting gets involved.

 

[The_Idler]

.....give me a call if she smells bacon for any reason. I also only walk people through how to get to me, i dont give my address, just an exit that depending on if you go half a mile left or half a mile right could put you in two different counties and cities. So I hope that my obscurity in my location discourages local law enforcement. I make it a gamble whether I am even in their same county, I think that encourages them to hunt easier targets that are for sure working their jurisdiction.

wow,
active policing of prostitution.....

just ....wow

seems so ridiculous to me.

 

[satricion]

Usually, yeah. I try and come across as a very approachable "girl next door" type in my ad and I think that's completely accurate to how I am. If a guy is weirding me out or hurting me or doing something physically uncomfortable then a little more acting gets involved.

Is physical pain during sex with clients something you tolerate?

 

[xtcgrlatl]

Is physical pain during sex with clients something you tolerate?

Yes. With a smile if I can, it's never like really bad or I'd say something like suggest a position I'd find more comfortable, and usually even if it hurts i know it will be over within a few minutes and I can get on with the rest of the day.

 

[satricion]

Very few workers in other industries would tolerate physical pain caused by their job on a regular basis. Do you basically consider it par for the course for sex work? Does it bother you that you have to tolerate it?

 

[BrickHouse]

Great thread. Thanks for your openess and honesty.

I have two questions:

1. How's your realtionship with your father?

2. What do I need to do as a father to ensure my daughter NEVER gets into sex work.

(not trying to judge you, just don't want my kid doing it)

 

[xtcgrlatl]

Very few workers in other industries would tolerate physical pain caused by their job on a regular basis. Do you basically consider it par for the course for sex work? Does it bother you that you have to tolerate it?

It's not like pain as in like "oh man this really hurts" It's just a matter of little things like bad oral (multiple times a day) giving me stubble burn on sensitive parts or just working through being kind of sore. I don't consider it par for the course but it happens and I deal with it.

The way I figure it the very little bit of occasional ouchie that comes with the job is well compensated for, as compared to the long drawn out horribleness of many jobs.

 

[The_Idler]

It's not like pain as in like "oh man this really hurts" It's just a matter of little things like bad oral (multiple times a day) giving me stubble burn on sensitive parts or just working through being kind of sore. I don't consider it par for the course but it happens and I deal with it.

The way I figure it the very little bit of occasional ouchie that comes with the job is well compensated for, as compared to the long drawn out horribleness of many jobs.

yeah,
i guess being a warehouse op for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week hurts too, in one way or another.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

1. How's your realtionship with your father?

It was fine till he and my mom divorced when I was about 13-14, I then saw him regularly for about 2 years after that but when I was about 15-16 we had some argument over some stupid thing and I, being an insane hormone flooded teenager said "I'm never going to come see you again' and he being a little stubborn and wanting to put me in my place I guess said something along the lines of "fine".

And so I didn't, well here and there, but not much. Eventually he moved to a different state leaving me and my other sister to live with our mom while he and my brother left.

2. What do I need to do as a father to ensure my daughter NEVER gets into sex work.

(not trying to judge you, just don't want my kid doing it)

I find it a little funny that you think it has anything to do with your behavior as a father. Lots of women come to this business from lots of paths with lots of backgrounds.

I actually wrote a long response but unfortunately my computer locked up before I could polish it off and post it so I'm going to keep this short instead.

Basically it boils down to this. When your daughter reaches an age where she's attractive to most men (17, 18 ), if she is active on the internet then she's almost certainly going to be solicited in a chat room or on myspace, that kind of social networking thing.

It doesnt matter what her sexual experience or relationship with you is like at that point, I actually had pretty much no sexual experience except reading about it on the internet, and I was still getting solicited in chat rooms and I was totally put off by the idea of casual sex and prostitution was about a million miles from my mind. But offers popped up, not all the time, but often enough that I knew it was out there even though I hadn't actually ever been with a guy at all.

Things are kind of fuzzy but over the course of the next few years I had wound up reading about the escort business out of curiosity. The same curiosity that has people reading this thread and asking questions I guess.

Eventually I did wind up turning a trick shortly after my second relationship ended because I needed some quick cash, and I thought no more about the escort business after that other then "hey that was easy and it saved my ass"

I moved back in with my mom for a year and a half or so, till I found another job and did it for 9 months (it was a 9 month contract) I had pretty much forgot all about my one time trying to be an escort and was in the process of a job hunt so me and a close friend could move in together, well my mom got impatient, set us up with an apartment, we moved into it figuring we could live off our savings accounts, and we did for a while. But the company that "hired her" decided they didnt want to actually start her for 6 months. I was still hunting and having no luck. Eventually I stopped sending resumes and started filing out applications for shitty jobs, as did she. We had started to run out of money, she didnt have anyone she could ask for help and I wasn't going to ask anyone because I come from a family where someone always has their hand out wanting a freebie and I didnt want to be like that.

Once again Someone solicited me on yahoo chat. It sparked my memory, I did my research, placed an ad, and got a pretty successful little business going. My roomie eventually gave it a try and did ok at first to and eventually when the company that "hired her" said "ok,we're ready for you to come to work" she blew them off and it's all developed from there.

So basically it's a matter of the opportunity presents itself to any young woman on the internet. If your daughter is attractive and uses the internet, she's gonna get solicited, pretty much no matter what. The only way to insure she doesn't take someone up on it is to ensure that she doesn't need money.

My mom put me in a sink or swim situation so I did what I had to do, found out that it wasn't what the world had told me it was. Found out that if you approach it smartly that it's a good opportunity, and I've thus stuck with it.

Edit: Reading this amused at how much I suck at being brief and basically retyped everything i had typed before my computer locked up.