I've only had one arsehole experience (well, apart from the ubiquituous Yahoo at every Earthcore indoor party... there's always one drug fucked bogan, it's a rule!), and I hate the fact that it was with a "coke-head Mario," because although I'll sneer at chicks who wear thongs to events (like Welcome2002, *shudder* how the fuck are they supposed to dance in thongs and denim skirts and little clutch handbags?), I really don't give a shit about the invasion of the Heat nightclubbers at certain events... however, yeah. I was mashed myself, but not annoyingly so, kept to myself and my own crew, no random babblings, and saw this guy eyeing off what I thought was my talc, so I KINDLY offered him my talc, he waved it away impatiently, gestured to my water, I handed him my water without thinking, he snatched it off me, used it to wash down a pill (SPEED BOMB NO DOUBT, ARGH, KILL), gave it back to me without saying a word of thanks and walked off... I was dumbfounded, even his mates looked at me like, "That was harsh." It nearly ruined my peak. Even now I get really shitty thinking about it. It was just unspeakably rude. If I'd have been straight and thinking--er, straight--I would've chucked my water bottle at his head and run off. :D Arsehole!!!!
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AADD Moderators: andyturbo
Arseholes at parties.
- Thread starter Schizo
- Start date
To me half the fun of going is to dance and to MEET NEW PEOPLE. And Im sorry if people dont like people like me but sometimes i think if you've got a stick to yourselves attide then maybe u belong back at the clubs.
ITS NOT ABOUT THE DRUGS (THOUGH THEY HELP) OR THE DAM DJS!!!!
Where has the friendliness of the raves gone these days??
I cant stand an up themselves crowd. I mean half the kiddies going out with a im cool cos im at a rave and im on bikkies attitude these days
Can i ask this: Wot does being a raver mean to you?
ITS NOT ABOUT THE DRUGS (THOUGH THEY HELP) OR THE DAM DJS!!!!
Where has the friendliness of the raves gone these days??
I cant stand an up themselves crowd. I mean half the kiddies going out with a im cool cos im at a rave and im on bikkies attitude these days
Can i ask this: Wot does being a raver mean to you?
miss apple
Bluelighter
I don't see the problem with not wanting to have the 'how many pills are you on', 'man i'm so fucked', 'man isn't this party awesome' conversations. Cause that's the only 'random' conversations I've ever had with people at parties. Booooring
It's not about being unfriendly or rude or anything. It's just wanting to go to a party with your friends and listen to the music and dance and maybe have a pill or two. I have much more interesting conversations with my friends than with the drug fucked people who you know will either not remember you at the end of the night, or really have no desire to talk to you anymore once the drugs wear off.
Just cause I'm at a 'rave' doesn't mean I'm there for the whole 'rave experience'. But that doesn't make me a rude bitch either.
It's not about being unfriendly or rude or anything. It's just wanting to go to a party with your friends and listen to the music and dance and maybe have a pill or two. I have much more interesting conversations with my friends than with the drug fucked people who you know will either not remember you at the end of the night, or really have no desire to talk to you anymore once the drugs wear off.
Just cause I'm at a 'rave' doesn't mean I'm there for the whole 'rave experience'. But that doesn't make me a rude bitch either.
miss apple
Bluelighter
sydkiwi....I'm not a raver. I *do* go clubbing. I guess that's obviously where I 'belong'.
This is what shits me about ravers and the whole fucking plur thing. If someone doesn't fit into the mould of what a 'raver' is supposed to be then they're ostracised and accused of being rude and told to 'go back to the clubs'.
If I'm at a rave I have every right to be there whether I'm there for the music and to dance or to 'meet new people'. And if you were a true 'raver' who believed in 'plur' you would respect my right to be who I want to be and do what I want to do at a party, as long as it didn't hurt anyone else. Isn't that what the respect in plur is all about?
fuck plur.
This is what shits me about ravers and the whole fucking plur thing. If someone doesn't fit into the mould of what a 'raver' is supposed to be then they're ostracised and accused of being rude and told to 'go back to the clubs'.
If I'm at a rave I have every right to be there whether I'm there for the music and to dance or to 'meet new people'. And if you were a true 'raver' who believed in 'plur' you would respect my right to be who I want to be and do what I want to do at a party, as long as it didn't hurt anyone else. Isn't that what the respect in plur is all about?
fuck plur.
My gribe really is with the people who go with an attitude problem. If your there for a good time and not trying to be something your not then good on you. Just please leave the attitude at home and come with a smile even if your not on drugs.
im sure u wont find any of us not smiling at a kick arse party/club or whatever. the only thing that takes the smile off is inconsiderate wankers.
i agree with what miss apples has said too.
[ 27 February 2002: Message edited by: KompleX ]
i agree with what miss apples has said too.
[ 27 February 2002: Message edited by: KompleX ]
Pleonastic
Bluelighter
I think the problem with "ravers" is that most of them think everyone that's not wearing neon feathers and fluffy leg warmers has an attitude problem. That's as big an attitude problem as the one they accuse everyone else of having.
I considered myself a raver once, because I used to have those beliefs - hell, just about everyone does when they first discover the scene. For some it lasts, but for others (like me), they don't feel comfortable conforming to the raver ideals anymore. Yet they still love the parties and the music.
And for those that think I'm being harsh, this is just the theory of it all. In reality when people come up to me and start some random conversation I'm nice, I answer their questions, and I politely find an excuse to get away if I want. I'd never tell someone to get fucked! All I'm explaining is the theory behind why I make these excuses rather than embracing every stranger I meet and having in depth conversations with them about my life.
This is also why I don't think MDMA is a party drug. Sure it allows you to open up and be more honest with people, and removes inhibitions. But I feel there's more to be gained by having this happen in a home environment with people you're already close to - to expand the friendship you already have and take it to another level.
{edit}
Oh, and Adikkal: I know it's hard to explain what I mean simply through typing on the internet. If you knew me you'd know I am only talking about the "pill fucked tools" that come up to me - everyone else I'm happy to talk to. I think I've just had my fair share of tools in my time, and my patience has worn a bit thin.
{second edit}
And one more thing that I just had to respond to:
I considered myself a raver once, because I used to have those beliefs - hell, just about everyone does when they first discover the scene. For some it lasts, but for others (like me), they don't feel comfortable conforming to the raver ideals anymore. Yet they still love the parties and the music.
And for those that think I'm being harsh, this is just the theory of it all. In reality when people come up to me and start some random conversation I'm nice, I answer their questions, and I politely find an excuse to get away if I want. I'd never tell someone to get fucked! All I'm explaining is the theory behind why I make these excuses rather than embracing every stranger I meet and having in depth conversations with them about my life.
This is also why I don't think MDMA is a party drug. Sure it allows you to open up and be more honest with people, and removes inhibitions. But I feel there's more to be gained by having this happen in a home environment with people you're already close to - to expand the friendship you already have and take it to another level.
{edit}
Oh, and Adikkal: I know it's hard to explain what I mean simply through typing on the internet. If you knew me you'd know I am only talking about the "pill fucked tools" that come up to me - everyone else I'm happy to talk to. I think I've just had my fair share of tools in my time, and my patience has worn a bit thin.
{second edit}
And one more thing that I just had to respond to:
Tarsarlan
Bluelighter
You're jaded Pleo... (and no, I don't really mean that, and yes, I'm just saying that to give you shit, I fully understand what you're saying and was going to say exactly what you said in your first paragraph, many people who believe others have an attitude problem are infact the ones with the poor attitude...)
I really wish that people could just go up to strangers in the street and talk to them, but it doesn't happen much... How many people here would react poorly to someone walking up to them on the street and wanting to share their life story? ...Anyone who talks to random (its just a word sunflower, its not some 1337 code, randoms = people you don't know/haven't met before) strangers at an event while off their head should be fine with talking to randoms anywhere else, and should be fine with them talking to you... If you're not, then you're a hypocrite IMFHO...
You might say that drugs allow you to be more open and accepting, but if you aren't that open and accepting while sober then that openness is fake, and one of the reasons why PLUR is so stigmatised these days...
Being open and friendly with strangers shouldn't just be reserved for when you're at a rave, or when you're on drugs...
I really wish that people could just go up to strangers in the street and talk to them, but it doesn't happen much... How many people here would react poorly to someone walking up to them on the street and wanting to share their life story? ...Anyone who talks to random (its just a word sunflower, its not some 1337 code, randoms = people you don't know/haven't met before) strangers at an event while off their head should be fine with talking to randoms anywhere else, and should be fine with them talking to you... If you're not, then you're a hypocrite IMFHO...
You might say that drugs allow you to be more open and accepting, but if you aren't that open and accepting while sober then that openness is fake, and one of the reasons why PLUR is so stigmatised these days...
Being open and friendly with strangers shouldn't just be reserved for when you're at a rave, or when you're on drugs...
There are some real weird-ass mudafuckas out there who make me aggitated with their fuckin behaviour.
one really,really, mashe dude asked me:
"go any meth man"
me: "nah. sorry mate"
(one minute later)
him: "hey man, got any meth"
me: ahhh, nah..., sorry dude"
(2 mins later)
him: "hey mate,ya have any meth to spare?"
me: mmmmmm..........nah, mate"
(5 mins later)
him: "hey, mate, got an...)
me think: ????? wtf, lets get the fuck outta this side of the room.
me said: "no" then walked the fuck off
I'm open to most people, just not the the fuckin weirdo's who are fucked up on paint thinner.
one really,really, mashe dude asked me:
"go any meth man"
me: "nah. sorry mate"
(one minute later)
him: "hey man, got any meth"
me: ahhh, nah..., sorry dude"
(2 mins later)
him: "hey mate,ya have any meth to spare?"
me: mmmmmm..........nah, mate"
(5 mins later)
him: "hey, mate, got an...)
me think: ????? wtf, lets get the fuck outta this side of the room.
me said: "no" then walked the fuck off
I'm open to most people, just not the the fuckin weirdo's who are fucked up on paint thinner.
miss apple
Bluelighter
Originally posted by Tarsarlan:
Anyone who talks to random ... strangers at an event while off their head should be fine with talking to randoms anywhere else, and should be fine with them talking to you... If you're not, then you're a hypocrite IMFHO...
and that's the reason I don't talk to randoms at parties. I can't really deal with talking to random people in real life on the bus or whatever and find it really wierd if people talk to me when they don't know me. I'm not rude or anything...I just like to keep to myself. So the same goes for parties.
But that doesn't mean I don't give random people around me massive grins on the dancefloor when the music and crowd are going nuts.
*bubble-fish*
Bluelighter
hey, i like talking random shit to anyone, anywhere. It doesn't bother me whether i've known them for a while or just met them, I LIKE TO TALK DAMMIT! I like talking shit at parties, talking shit at uni...the location isn't important to me :D .
i do however have probelms with people who'll only talk you on when their on certain drugs and when they're not,ignore me. i spose another problem i have is when the same conversations are repeated over and over...i look fucked? hmmm...well that's nice to know...but all in all most people are fine and if i don't scare them off with my ongoing monologue then all's good and well by me.
[ 27 February 2002: Message edited by: *bubble-fish* ]
i do however have probelms with people who'll only talk you on when their on certain drugs and when they're not,ignore me. i spose another problem i have is when the same conversations are repeated over and over...i look fucked? hmmm...well that's nice to know...but all in all most people are fine and if i don't scare them off with my ongoing monologue then all's good and well by me.
[ 27 February 2002: Message edited by: *bubble-fish* ]
SiLvAmOoNcHiLd
Bluelighter
Originally posted by *sunflower*:
I'm 25, way way too old for plur... absolutely loathe being hugged by people I don't know... sometimes people are just having a bad day.
what the? (yeah OKm i'm being Rove today)
too old for PLUR-- is it really that hard? Peace, Love, Respect, Unity... last time i checked, it isn't.
and how much effort is it to give a random a hug? if its gonna make someone's fkked up night then why not throw the arms apart... they're not likely to give you rabies.
try to be a little more "lucid" yourself next time. you're sounding like one of those bitter twisted vinegar ravers that i so despise...
btw-- some food for thought... when some of you bitter complaining a$$'s first got into the scene, did you ever act like that? asking a random for a hug.. grinning like a fkkr.... if you did i bet it was all in innocent fun.
*sighs*
..::I've had my bitch for today...
miss apple
Bluelighter
*apples bites her tongue*
nezo
Bluelight Crew
guys play nice for fucks sake..put your point across but don't abuse other bluelighters on the way through - you just sound stopid.
um...me? I'll talk to ya..I'm nice in real life
I've been lucky..i don't talk to people unless they are smiling..usually I smile first and then they smile back. Good start hey?
If a random wants to talk..why not? Not like I can't walk away...I might just find some one interesting!!!
To each their own... hugz all round
um...me? I'll talk to ya..I'm nice in real life
I've been lucky..i don't talk to people unless they are smiling..usually I smile first and then they smile back. Good start hey?If a random wants to talk..why not? Not like I can't walk away...I might just find some one interesting!!!
To each their own... hugz all round
-Thoth
Bluelight Crew
melancholic
Bluelighter
i dont have a problem with meeting new people most of the time, unless im dancing or have something particular on my mins or something i really want to do - like go somewhere, find someone or something etc, ill jsut smile and keep the convo short.
at times like in the toilet queue or in the queue to buy water or something i often ask questions like 'hows your night?' or 'how you going?' i dont really like asking 'what are you on?'... i dont go to raves to make long term frienships, i go to muck around and have fun with new people. im not expecting to see someone again, nor even get into any sort of deep conversation... i may have 1 or 2 decent conversations with someone every 4 or 5 events. but i have plenty of run-ins with people ive met before or seen before, just saying 'hi' etc. i think thats half the fun of raves and mdma.
see mdma lowers your inhibitors so i think a big point is the fact that there are many people i would like to go up and talk to while straight, but cant because i dont have the guts - while on mdma with lowered inhibitions i am more likely to do so...
as for hugging, its always awkward except for good friends and people you know... if i meet someone new i rarely hug them even if we have a decent conversation first. but if somebody hugs me id most likely hug them back, depending on the person really... but not for long. i think for some people they are so sensitive while rolling that somebody rejecting them could ruin their roll and put them into a negative frame of mind. thus i think why not just give em a hug....
i think you should smile back when smiled at... i guess im not making rules here, youre free to do whatever and feel whatever.. and shit like if your phone just got stolen and someone smiles at you youre not expected to smile back - if i was in that situation i would explain to them why i was in shit mood.
i dont agree with dress codes... ie ravers and cokeheads and shit... someone can wear whatever they want. i consider myself a 'raver' cos i go to raves. its got nothing to do with how i dress. (like that stupid raver manifesto - no offence to anyone who likes it )
bah long ramble over nothing
i dont agree with arsehole-like behaviour but i dont agree with hugs and kisses all round either. but i do think that unless you get repeatedly stupid comments from some people there really shouldnt be a problem. it only takes a little common sense to notice when someone doesnt want to talk.
at times like in the toilet queue or in the queue to buy water or something i often ask questions like 'hows your night?' or 'how you going?' i dont really like asking 'what are you on?'... i dont go to raves to make long term frienships, i go to muck around and have fun with new people. im not expecting to see someone again, nor even get into any sort of deep conversation... i may have 1 or 2 decent conversations with someone every 4 or 5 events. but i have plenty of run-ins with people ive met before or seen before, just saying 'hi' etc. i think thats half the fun of raves and mdma.
see mdma lowers your inhibitors so i think a big point is the fact that there are many people i would like to go up and talk to while straight, but cant because i dont have the guts - while on mdma with lowered inhibitions i am more likely to do so...
as for hugging, its always awkward except for good friends and people you know... if i meet someone new i rarely hug them even if we have a decent conversation first. but if somebody hugs me id most likely hug them back, depending on the person really... but not for long. i think for some people they are so sensitive while rolling that somebody rejecting them could ruin their roll and put them into a negative frame of mind. thus i think why not just give em a hug....
i think you should smile back when smiled at... i guess im not making rules here, youre free to do whatever and feel whatever.. and shit like if your phone just got stolen and someone smiles at you youre not expected to smile back - if i was in that situation i would explain to them why i was in shit mood.
i dont agree with dress codes... ie ravers and cokeheads and shit... someone can wear whatever they want. i consider myself a 'raver' cos i go to raves. its got nothing to do with how i dress. (like that stupid raver manifesto - no offence to anyone who likes it
)bah long ramble over nothing
i dont agree with arsehole-like behaviour but i dont agree with hugs and kisses all round either. but i do think that unless you get repeatedly stupid comments from some people there really shouldnt be a problem. it only takes a little common sense to notice when someone doesnt want to talk.
miss apple
Bluelighter
eddi spgeddi
Bluelighter
last visit to this thread...
OMG... jnr cheese.
OMG... jnr cheese.
Vaile*
Bluelighter
The definition of an arsehole is wide and varied.... it's different for everyone. They do exist, and it seems they always, somehow, outnumber the 'types' of people you wish you were there.
I'm pretty new to this type of scene. Prior to attending my last raves, it was a dark corner in Ritual (goth club near central), or some other corner or some other club trying not to keep out of the way of some aggressive fuck who's trying to prove his heterosexuality.
But Arseholes at parties? The first one that comes to mind was a 19th B-day dance party where 5 Lebanese guys broke in, punched a pregnant lady down some stairs, destroyed the DJ equipment, tables and windows, sent the DJ to hospital, hit a local sheriff, and broke many a nose.
Perhaps it has something to do with where I live. Either way, going to Thrillseeka recently was my idea of a fucking Utopia. I didn't care if a smackey raver came up to me, asked me for a hug and or pills, wanted to download their lives because they need to talk. Atleast they didn't want my money, or hit me for what I was wearing. I mean I couldn't handle it all night; I like my personal space, but they got the message when I told them politely.
I'm not a believer in PLUR, but just think what you're complaining about... most smackey ravers will get the hint when you ask them to go away nicely... and if you don't tell them it's not the right time, then it's your own fault.
I can see alot of the points you guys raise, and so you should. I mean, this my own philosophy and probably won't work for anyone else. However, I do know that you'll find arseholes in EVERY scene. I think it's just a matter of tolerance.. accept that you can't change it and move on. I deal with random bouts of arseholish-ness by telling what I think in a non-offensive way followed by 'have a nice night', or 'talk to you later'.
I'm pretty new to this type of scene. Prior to attending my last raves, it was a dark corner in Ritual (goth club near central), or some other corner or some other club trying not to keep out of the way of some aggressive fuck who's trying to prove his heterosexuality.
But Arseholes at parties? The first one that comes to mind was a 19th B-day dance party where 5 Lebanese guys broke in, punched a pregnant lady down some stairs, destroyed the DJ equipment, tables and windows, sent the DJ to hospital, hit a local sheriff, and broke many a nose.
Perhaps it has something to do with where I live. Either way, going to Thrillseeka recently was my idea of a fucking Utopia. I didn't care if a smackey raver came up to me, asked me for a hug and or pills, wanted to download their lives because they need to talk. Atleast they didn't want my money, or hit me for what I was wearing. I mean I couldn't handle it all night; I like my personal space, but they got the message when I told them politely.
I'm not a believer in PLUR, but just think what you're complaining about... most smackey ravers will get the hint when you ask them to go away nicely... and if you don't tell them it's not the right time, then it's your own fault.
I can see alot of the points you guys raise, and so you should. I mean, this my own philosophy and probably won't work for anyone else. However, I do know that you'll find arseholes in EVERY scene. I think it's just a matter of tolerance.. accept that you can't change it and move on. I deal with random bouts of arseholish-ness by telling what I think in a non-offensive way followed by 'have a nice night', or 'talk to you later'.
Tarsarlan
Bluelighter
Sunflower: Random isn't used in a snobby way, at least not by me, but yeah, its fine if you don't want to use it, I just hope you understand what it means... 'Stranger' can be used in a snobby way too, it all depends on the context... And I'm glad you can chat to people easily... I have had conversations with people I've bumped into around the place, while shopping ("Hey, I've got that top, did you get it from Euphimism too?"), while re-fueling my car ("Don't you hate it when you need to fill up just after the price has gone up 7 cents!"), while grocery shopping ("That sauce with that pasta? Nah, I think you'd do better with this pasta with that sauce..."), I've even had a 5 minute conversations with someone's girlfriend on their mobile phone while standing at a set of traffic lights... She needed some help studying for an exam apparently and I looked like a smart guy... *shrug*
I don't believe in PLUR either, not the easily spouted Drug-Induced Selective PLUR (DISPLUR - acronym courtesy of da kitten) that so many 'ravers' preach... I do however believe in Peace, Love, Unity and Respect... And I do try to uphold those ideals, and if people would stop dismissing them as nothing more than 'tired, hollow and hypocritical' then maybe PLUR wouldn't be so stigmatised...
And its not easy to uphold the ideals of PLUR... SilvaMoonChild provides a great example... Sorry but your post comes across as very arrogant and insulting, not at all in holding with the ideals of PLUR... You may be a great person in RL tho SMC, so I won't hold this one post against you... Its in our nature to be unloving greedy selfish arrogant dominating disrespectful angry violent assholes, it takes a lot to fight that nature and become someone who practices what they preach at all times, not just while on drugs...
I don't think I've ever gone up to someone and asked them for a hug... I've talked to people for a while and then hugged them, but I've never just asked for one straight away... If it seems like a hug would be appreciated then I'll give one, but I won't know if it will be appreciated if I just run up to them... There are some people who can get away with that, I don't think I'm one of them...
[ 28 February 2002: Message edited by: Tarsarlan ]
I don't believe in PLUR either, not the easily spouted Drug-Induced Selective PLUR (DISPLUR - acronym courtesy of da kitten) that so many 'ravers' preach... I do however believe in Peace, Love, Unity and Respect... And I do try to uphold those ideals, and if people would stop dismissing them as nothing more than 'tired, hollow and hypocritical' then maybe PLUR wouldn't be so stigmatised...
And its not easy to uphold the ideals of PLUR... SilvaMoonChild provides a great example... Sorry but your post comes across as very arrogant and insulting, not at all in holding with the ideals of PLUR... You may be a great person in RL tho SMC, so I won't hold this one post against you... Its in our nature to be unloving greedy selfish arrogant dominating disrespectful angry violent assholes, it takes a lot to fight that nature and become someone who practices what they preach at all times, not just while on drugs...
I don't think I've ever gone up to someone and asked them for a hug... I've talked to people for a while and then hugged them, but I've never just asked for one straight away... If it seems like a hug would be appreciated then I'll give one, but I won't know if it will be appreciated if I just run up to them... There are some people who can get away with that, I don't think I'm one of them...
[ 28 February 2002: Message edited by: Tarsarlan ]