catscatscats
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5
This may sound silly, but I'm having trouble snapping out of this. I've recently found myself with a lot of free time and over the past few months have been smoking weed more frequently than I ever have before. Thing is, yes I do enjoy it and yes I like the relaxation and I like the time-you-enjoy-wasted-wasn't-wasted thing but there has almost always been a deeply unsettling realization with these highs, mainly about my relationships with everyone, and, most specifically (and upsettingly) the boyfriend.
There's all this talk about drug-induced altered states of consciousness giving you the ability to access these inner reaches of your mind you wouldn't have been able to sober and all of that, but I just don't know the validity of that and was hoping to get some opinions. Drug-induced thoughts - are they real? Valid? Do they deserve to be dwelt on? How far should you look into them and just where can you leave them at 'oh I was just high', especially when they seem to make so much convincing sense?
I should add that though I do not have any diagnosable mental disorder like anxiety or depression (yet, probably), I have always been of a significantly negative predisposition and do find myself in the throes of unexplained panic attacks and such occasionally. And I'm always looking to get another perspective on things in my life, which is where I thought weed could come in - but is it just pushing me into sadness? Are all those thoughts not real and should I just work on shaking them off?
As I write this I feel like I can answer my own question - yes, weed (or just drugs in general) isn't for everyone - but I've spent so much time circling around those negative high thoughts that I really can't distinguish anymore weather they were 'real' and 'true' or weather I just convinced myself of them and have put myself in this awful place where I just don't even know anymore.
This has been a rambling. Basic question here: what are your opinions on thoughts arising from drug-induced altered states of consciousness, especially if they turn out negative more often than not?
Edit:
Just wanted to add that before I started a heavy, concentrated use, boyfriend and I were great. It was just the first initial seed of doubt whilst high that took root and wouldn't leave, and I don't know whether it's the weed that's to blame or if it was self-deception all along that I cracked into with it or just what. Help me, my brain is a whirlwind right now.
There's all this talk about drug-induced altered states of consciousness giving you the ability to access these inner reaches of your mind you wouldn't have been able to sober and all of that, but I just don't know the validity of that and was hoping to get some opinions. Drug-induced thoughts - are they real? Valid? Do they deserve to be dwelt on? How far should you look into them and just where can you leave them at 'oh I was just high', especially when they seem to make so much convincing sense?
I should add that though I do not have any diagnosable mental disorder like anxiety or depression (yet, probably), I have always been of a significantly negative predisposition and do find myself in the throes of unexplained panic attacks and such occasionally. And I'm always looking to get another perspective on things in my life, which is where I thought weed could come in - but is it just pushing me into sadness? Are all those thoughts not real and should I just work on shaking them off?
As I write this I feel like I can answer my own question - yes, weed (or just drugs in general) isn't for everyone - but I've spent so much time circling around those negative high thoughts that I really can't distinguish anymore weather they were 'real' and 'true' or weather I just convinced myself of them and have put myself in this awful place where I just don't even know anymore.
This has been a rambling. Basic question here: what are your opinions on thoughts arising from drug-induced altered states of consciousness, especially if they turn out negative more often than not?
Edit:
Just wanted to add that before I started a heavy, concentrated use, boyfriend and I were great. It was just the first initial seed of doubt whilst high that took root and wouldn't leave, and I don't know whether it's the weed that's to blame or if it was self-deception all along that I cracked into with it or just what. Help me, my brain is a whirlwind right now.