• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E

are you on bupe/methadone for life!?

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
1,297
Location
Looking-Glass Land
there are days I think to myself and ask myself if I truly will be on "drugs" the rest of my life. I cannot picture living life w/o bupe at this point; I was an opiate/heroin addict for the past 12yrs w/ 3 years of sobriety in the mix (04-07) but other than that I was using daily.

sure, I am on bupe, and take 12MG's/day but I feel great and I am able to get buy w/o using dope, w/o buying dope/ w/o seeing a needle daily, and w/o spending every fucking dollar in my pocket. my Dr. visit (all done on iChat) may cost $140/mo but I was spending $100+ a day just to get dope. its a sick, sick disease, but for once in my life I feel like I have gotten away from it and able to stay away.

but lets face, I may be on bupe for life. I have no intentions of getting off or dropping dosage anytime soon; I started at 16MG and went down to 12MG's over 4 months. last time I was on bupe about 2 years ago I went from 24 down to 4MG over a 9 month period and then went on one of the most vicious runs of my life where I abused 1-2G'/day minimum along w/ everything else that could go into a vein.

life has been great since kicking it once again; they sent me away to a 2 week DUI program and I didnt have a choice and had to find a way to finish the program or get jail time; I chose bupe and it was the best thing I could have done. problem is, its still a drug, and w/o it I would be miserable and want to die. kinda funny how that works.

anyone else plan on being on "drugs" the rest of their life?
 
Hi guys new memberjust wanted to share my situation. I'm on day 5 no methadone from 16 mg. I had ended up getting my hands on some kratom and it has helped a lot for sleep at night. I have been getting about 5 hours which is amazing.I didn't use any kratom at all yesterday and it was an okay day surprisingly definitely uncomfortable. Usually around the 30 hour mark I start getting antsy and aches but yesterday on my 4th day just some aches hot and cold watery eyes sneezing and I'm super emotional which is strange for me because I'm usually the opposite. I just start crying for no reason lol. Other wise so far so good at this point I might continue this route instead of the suboxone. At least the kratom is natural and I will stop use between the 2 or 3 week to see how I manage. Hopefully the harsh part of this shit will be over by then. I will probably taper the kratom though just invade there are withdrawals but can't be anything like getting off the beast. So I still have a week off from work at least to get some more of this shit out of me. Had I known the toll the methadone would have taken on me I would have never started it. Methadone maybe good for a 7 day detox but as a maintenance drug it is pure evil. These places are nothing but money traps and 90% of them could give a rats ass about you. I have had 10 different counselors since I started there 5 years ago.Not one of these asshole ever even knew my name without looking at my file. Last year I told the doctor I wanted to taper and she said she didn't think I was ready!!! Not Ready!!! I have been here for 5 years and never dropped a dirty who are you to tell me I'm not ready I see u once a year for a physical. It's called they don't want you to leave or at least your wallet. Anybody who plans to try methadone as a means to get clean please do some research. Anyways just needed to write to keep busy and say what's up keep u updated on the progress...
 
stick w/ the Kratom when needed; you seem to be doing OK and things seem to be somewhat alright, so no point in picking up a Kratom addiction and then having to get through that as well; just another hassle in life.

you are on day 5 and things seem OK, so stick w/ it. I left my methadone clinic at 18/MG but I still used dope daily throughout and it never got me anywhere; methadone was never my drug. suboxone helped me so much more than methadone and still does do this day.

best of luck to you; stick w/ what you have and take when needed. no point in picking up another addiction when trying to get rid of one - unless you dont mind, which is why I am a suboxone lifer!
 
Probly...I think Methadone would be a better choice for me, because I tend to still use on Subs, unless I have benzo's, so I'm thinkin about asking my doctor for some klonopin...but yes I am stable on opiates, without them i'm kinda crazy...subs get me halfway normal,lol. I see no probem with being on either for life, I REALLY don't see why peope make a big deal about it...do people make a big deal of peope drinking a 6 pack or 3 or 4 glasses of wine after work? No, they don't(or in my family anyway) we just get what we need before work, I guese..that wasn't a really good comparison. Anyway, yes unless I'm forced off of it..If that then I'm gonna half to be watched closesly cuz I will just use again. Have used opiates since my mid teens, I really don't feel right without them, I'm not going to go years trying to 'feel right' without it, life is too short, IMO. Just going without it relapsing, going to meetings talking about how ya relasped, spend your days thinking allll day about not using, go months without, loose it and go on a run, go back to meetings. NO THANK YOU,lol.
 
going to be fun to see what else may come as the years go by; right now I am sold on suboxone; I love the way it makes me feel. I feel totally sober but I also feel motivated and happy about life; not something I was feeling when on dope. so yes, please give me my bupe FOREVER and EVER and EVER!

just always find it funny when people consider it not being sober.
 
Yeah I definitely get the kratom thing the further I get into the w/d I'm I will start using less and less of the kratom. It's day 7 and my headache and body pains seem better. I feel like i might try to get some exercise today. The biggest problem the past 2-3 nights is I can't sit or lie still. It's like I got this tingly sensation from my diaphragm to my lower back and I can't stop moving .This was always the worst for me I could handle the rest. Well I go back to a physical job in 4 days and it's supposed in the 90's by then so that should be fun ha ha.Thanks for the advice keep you updated.
 
I've just started suboxone, (& feel I owe a few PMs), after a shocking battle with chronic pain & a pretty big oxy habit.

I started on 8mgs, went to 20mgs, & back to 16mgs for now.

I never expected the "opiate" feeling. Have heard so much about just feeling "normal".

For life? I dunno man.. Pain or feeling this stoned makes it a hard call. I'd like to think I have at least 70yrs, and such pain really isn't an option.

Other than the switch, I feel I've had such a difficult time of late, I'm actually pretty happy to dose each morning & not really think on it anymore.

After the cycle that saw me running outta scripts 3, 4, 10, then 14 days out of each month, just having a sustainable future looked so appealing.

The long haul, ha, don't even know what to think.. Yet.

But I'm very glad to hear you're doing so well mister bbt x

Rtp
 
Man, this is a great question.
I too, was addicted to opiates for about 8 years. Never used a needle, but my W/D was bad enough to get me on 80mg of methadone daily.
My first opiate, was of course Vicodin/Hydrocodone. I used that for 2 years, everyday. Doses ranging from 60mg-100mg/daily. I quit cold turkey, and yes I did manage to get off for almost a year. I believe it was in the 9 month-12 month mark being opiate free.
Then I got introduced to Hydrocodone's older brother, Oxycodone. I started on that, and of course with my addictive personality, I got addicted to Oxycodone. My tolerance NEVER went down, even being off opiates for nearly a year. I was on Oxycodone for 3-4 years straight, everyday. Doses ranging from 90mg-180mg daily. Now, I tried Oxycodone cold turkey, and said FUCK that, I'm not going to feel like this, so I went back on Oxy. After a few months, I was getting to the point where I was selling and stealing everything from my parents house. I realized how expensive oxycodone really is, I was spending about $200/day. Then I got introduced to Black Tar Heroin. Something cheaper, and more potent. So I started smoking Heroin, for about a year straight, everyday. I was smoking a Gram a day, costing anywhere from $60-$120 daily. When I lost everything, including trust from my family (which I don't blame them).. My W/D after smoking Heroin was SO intense, my parents rushed me to the ER. I was dehydrated, YET throwing up yellow stomach bile/acid. (You can actually die from that, of course, dehydration) So I told the nurses/doctor everything truthfully and why I am really here, they were nice enough to dose me some good meds to get through the DAY at least (Morphine, Ativan, Promethazine, all IV).. They said the only thing that would save my life is either Rehab, which we CAN'T afford, or MMT. Of course we went to the cheaper route, the one we can actually afford. I've been on MMT ever since. That was 3+ years ago.
I DON'T plan on staying on Methadone forever, but if I have to, I will. I do believe everything happens for a reason. So we will see, I still got my whole life ahead of me. I am blessed from being away from illicit drugs and what a relief it is that I am actually taking a PRESCRIBED medication that saved my life. Thank you methadone.
 
well, good for you peeps who were able to kick and put in some time. I was never able to do that; longest I went was about 5 days and throughout those days I would take benzos to kill the "pain". I am not someone who uses opiates because I have any type of pain or problems, but I am just psychically addicted to the drug that makes me feel "great" in many ways. of course, at this stage, it no longer makes me feel "great" like I said before but its something I needed to get through the day. days w/o dope consisted of me sitting down on a couch sweating, shitting, shivering, and all the rest.

sad to say, but I truly think I ill be on these for life. its been 14yrs of heavy drug use w/ some years off but over the last 3-4yrs its been to the point where it would have taken out a small city; thats how bad I got w/ shooting dope. it was just ugly, man. I am so thankful to even be here today considering my multiple OD's and being able to get by and feel GOOD about life once again; I have suboxone to thank for this - w/o this I would be.. well, god knows where I would be, but it surly would not be in a good place.
 
At this point, probably.

By now I've had a 1/3 of my life on either oxy, heroin, or suboxone. Soo much heroin the last few years. Like today, and yesterday, and 2 days ago, and 3 days ago, and 4 days ago, and 5 days ago, etc. ad nauseam.
 
Carl Landrover said:
At this point, probably.

By now I've had a 1/3 of my life on either oxy, heroin, or suboxone. Soo much heroin the last few years. Like today, and yesterday, and 2 days ago, and 3 days ago, and 4 days ago, and 5 days ago, etc. ad nauseam.
Click to expand...

what about 2 weeks ago? ha. still shooting dope, huh!? I am w/ you on that 1/3 life thing; I am 32 and been using since 19. kinda sad, huh!? I put 3 years of clean time in between 19 and 32 but that was cuz of 3yrs jail/release.
 
last time i was on bupe a year ago i ended up shooting the subutex tablets and now i ruined almost all my veins. it's rare that i think a drug is so vile as bupe, so vile that i would shoot 24mg a day and feel a slight relaxation only. for that nightmare i gladly go back to heroin use.
 
I hope like hell I'm not on any drug, anti depressants, nicotine, caffeine, weed, let alone strong opiates forever.

I am on about 80mg/done per day taken in 2-3 doses. Used to be on 120/1x/day which sucked as I jacjed my dose up that high and it still never lasted longer than 18hrs despite what the clinic said.

I can see myself being on very low (5mg done 2-3x day) for long-term, as in a decade. But I've already been on opiates heroin, oxy, subs, or m'done for almost 6 years and it doesn't seem all that long

I spent so long spending every waking second trying to get my needle loaded with some brown syrup and now it is an absolute miracle I rarely think about opiates in a "wanting" manner anymore. Reminiscing, maybe. But because I know, know, know, I will never be sick or high because of steady, reliable methadone, I am free in my mind. Not my body of course... But I've wanted to be free mentally for so long. And being physically addicted is worth it.
 
Last edited:
Yeah much like Carl I've had over 1/3 of my life on opiates, more like over 1/2 if you count my initial flirtations with them without getting a serious habit. I quit bupe 2.5 years ago, after 3 years on, which followed more years than that on and off being up about a bundle a day, the initial kick never bothering me that much but never being able to stay away too long, then after the 2.5 years on bupe, over another 6 months tapered from 8mg which i'd been on for the longest down to 0.5-0.25ish and then jumped off, initially it was no worse than the flu for a weekend, but the postacute shit was awful, every night just to sleep it took 2mg ativan, 100mg vistaril, and a fifth of hard liquor, although I tapered off that too, eventually, now I drink too much on a nightly basis and take several psych meds including 2 antidepressants, sometimes I consider going back on bupe as it was similar, but towards the end of my time being on it, I felt like it wasn't really giving me a good antidepressant effect maybe even the opposite. So yeah, from extensive years of dedicated and prolific polysubstance abuse, several of my neurotransmitter systems are, to say the least, affected, so yeah, it's a bitch. Maybe bupe would be preferable, maybe my current situation is preferable, maybe I should just cut out the booze (carefully, I get the shakes when my dosing has been high for any length of time), who knows? This thread is full of people who have altered their neurochemistry and their social relationship with mind altering substances probably for a very long time going forward. It's an unfortunate thing but an outgrowth of choices we all made. We've got to chose the best route for ourselves and with input from professionals. I don't think there's one answer.
 
I think I will be on opiates the rest of my life. I've been on methadone for 6 months and I am very happy with my medication. Even though I am getting fed up with the clinic bullshit. I have a plan to get around that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top