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Are you obsessed with yourself on MDMA?

R

RollingMonkeyFace

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 30, 2000
Messages
22
Location
Madison, WI
OK, so after all these years I finally noticed that I become obsessed with myself while on MDMA. If I am at a club, I search out mirrors or reflective surfaces to see myself and I try to guage how I am doing (IE: am I obvious that I am rolling or am I keeping cool about), as with the same in the mensrooms. When I am at home, I search out a bathroom to look at myself. Its become a joke with my wife and friends because if you knew me, it would seem so out of character. I have no idea by I do it but I do... how bout you? ....(on a funny sidenote, I also tend to get naked and want to go in our hot tub but that is whole different story.....)
 
im the complete opposite... i feel more connected with everyone and lose my inabitions and less worried about how ppl precieve me but everyone is different
 
Wat

In all seriousness, it sounds like a narcissistic type of thing that really isn't mdma related. Or is it? Shouldn't you be more preoccupied with your wife?

Then again, yaa, everyone is different. I've heard of girls who kind of do the same (ie. check themselves out too much) but if anything I'll just chock it up as a phase you're going through.

I'm not gonna play the psychologist though, (it's not my area) so do as you please. But to answer your question, no I am not, whether on mdma or not. This coming from a usually confident person.
 
I'm actually much less concerend with my looks on mdma. I'm usually a pretty high maintenance kind of girl but when I'm rolling I couldn't care less about my makeup, hair or body image.
 
While interacting with other people on MDMA is very engaging, I feel I have the same narcissistic feeling when under influence. I always find myself very interesting and cool when I look in the mirror and it's a damn pleasure.
 
Interesting, now when you mentioned this, I'm trying to recall how I usually feel about myself while on molly. I'd agree with what others posted, I think I feel less preoccupied with myself and more with others and my surroundings. If I come across some mirror, I just take a brief look and perhaps smile to myself for an instant, but that would be all.
 
i've never noticed anything like that. but if i run across a mirror in the bathroom i cannot resist confirming that my pupils are in fact huge ;)
 
I don't obsess over it.. But I do take a good, hard look at myself everytime I go pee or grab some water.

I do this with new-to-me chemicals (usually RC's, but it's now routine with anything new) to see how big my pupils get, whether my skin seems paler, or well just to see if I look to insane to go for a stroll..



I did like playing dress up when me and a group of friends rolled at a recently-deceased grandma's house. Being a man and wearing old lady clothes is hysterical while rolling. Surprisingly not as hysterical to 711 staff when you walk there to buy gum and cigarettes, but I think they still got a kick outta it 8)
 
I should add to my original question some info..

I am NOT concerned about if I look good, its more that I am concerned about how do I look... am I hot rolling mess ? ..or am I keeping it cool? I am the type of person who doesn't like to stand out in a crowd and when I see someone a complete fucking hot mess at a club,I think to myself ...I hope I don't look like that. So I tend tend to obsesse about if I am obvious about rolling... hence seeking out reflectives and mirrors to see how do I look.

The only thing that can really distract me is good conversation. I will talk to anyone about anything for hours. I have to catch myself thinking, I probably need to stop talking now... which leads me back to the bathroom and to. Mirror... ha
 
ah, that's something different, and i can relate to some degree. since i always look obviously fucked up (very likely just like the "fucking hot rolling mess" you describe), i'll inevitably stand out in a crowd without many people on mdma. because of this i feel much more comfortable right in front of the speakers where the other rollers reside :) (this works especially well on festivals and not at all in small clubs obviously). ime worrying about looking too fucked up only happens at the beginning of the night and i stop caring after the first redose...
 
Good so I am not alone :-) . It's not a big deal so much any more since it has become somewhat of a joke and more often, we roll with a very small, close group. Its a work in progress as with my jaw clenching. That is another thing I can't get over but it pretty much comes with the game..so I've learn to accept it.
 
I'm never interested in how I look if at club or event, I know I will be a hot rolling mess - I just assume that I look like everyone else walking about. At home - couldn't care less :D.
 
No I don't really get this. If I pass by a mirror in a bathroom or somewhere I usually end up entranced looking into my own pupils, and I feel good about myself/the way I look, but that's it really.
 
I like to think not, isn't that kinda the opposite effect of an empathogen?
Coke? Sure. But MDxx? I'm more concerned with emotional connection.
 
Seeing as last time I did mdma I was covered with a blanket all aroud my head and I was holding it like the fk'n Red Riding Hood, I wouldn't say I'm too concerned about my appearance. Didn't check the mirror a single time, if I recall correctly.
 
I think I misread initially; I think it's quite common to use your reflection as a reference point on many drugs. Pupillary action, cheek flushing and bruxism are clear indicators.
But full-scale narcissistic, egocentric self admiration? Not so much. :)
 
Can't say I'm particularly obsessed with my appearance when rolling, although the relaxation of inhibitions does mean that I'm probably rather single-minded in the pursuit of my pleasures when high.
 
I seek out mirrors when rolling and will even use my phone camera to look at myself but it's not because I'm begin narcissistic. I get paranoid about my face because it's always extremely apparent when I'm high.
 
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