Are psychedelics worth it?

[psy997]

Let me explain my situation first, then I'll elaborate on my question. I got in an order of 4-ho-met last Tuesday right before I left town to go visit my (now ex) girlfriend across the state. I wasn't going to see her that night because I had another obligation early the next morning. So, wanting to test the product and being impatient, I took 15mg for the drive there. I had an awesome life-affirming, universal love trip watching the beautiful countryside and sunset as I drove along. It really was amazing being back in the realm. When I arrived at my hotel, I called my best friend and ended up talking for like 30 minutes. He said I sounded happier than I had in months, which I definitely agreed with. I told him of all the little things I learned on the way up there and how amazing it was. I told him of how I finally saw how you aren't who you think you are, but who others see you as. Last night on the drive back he told me how his classes had become much better and how he was clashing less with classmates because of it. Tangible results from my philosophizing. I had lots of other little lines of wisdom like this that he gladly listened to and praised for it's wisdom. Twas great.

Stop reading here if you don't care: Then I see my girlfriend the next day and end up having a great Wed, Fri, Sat, and Sun with her. Monday though, as I go to pick her up from class (her car's in the shop), I see my car has been towed from her apartment parking. Now, I also hadn't been able to find my wallet since Friday night, and since then she'd paid for $70 worth of food for me. That already slightly annoyed her. But we go to the impound and I find the wallet in there, and pay the fine, get the suburban, pay her back, etc. etc. Anyways she's already highly annoyed with me for my "carelessness" and we're laying on her bed before I have to leave in an hour. As we are, she mentions how she saw my scale in my bag and asks why I have it.

I had an incident with too much Xanax and alcohol in Peru this summer that lead to her almost breaking up with me, but love prevailing, etc etc. Only because I promised I would stop using anything and be productive and change. That incident caused me to swear off all drugs and stay sober. A week or two in I realized I was dead with my prescribed ADD meds or caffeine and started using those again. And since then I've drank and smoked a couple times, but none just because I was bored by myself. Anyways, she's against me using anything.

So I end up bullshitting her and lying for like 2 minutes. She gets even more distant and turns her back towards me on the bed. I'm laying there, thinking "shit, she knows I sold something to her roommate's friend at the party, and I can't just lie to her"

So I confessed. I ended up telling her I had this psychedelic etc etc. and she freaked out on me and ended things. She said she wasn't comfortable with us right now, I don't need drugs, I knew how she felt about using them, etc etc.

Start reading now if you don't care: So I'm wondering myself, and seeking guidance from those more experienced with psys and life, what are your boundaries when it comes to psychedelics affecting relationships? Of course if chemical use is a detriment to your relationships, it means you're an addict. But I'm talking in terms of whether or not you would give up these life affirming, loving experiences for a girl that doesn't approve. I think I crossed a line, and she won't come back around. But assuming she would, answer me this. Would you quit psychedelics for a girl who doesn't understand, or not be willing to forego these spiritual and personal growing experiences for someone you know you aren't a good match with?

I just see it like psychedelics are helping me achieve me be the person I want to be. They let me see things from an unbiased view, thus letting me see and change undesired traits, but also make me feel the universal love that is out there and feel rejuvenated and ready for life. And it's not like I'm abusing them either, I hadn't tripped in months prior to this. As The Celestine Prophecy says, those that have had spiritual awakening moments before are going to have an easier time reaching those states sober because they have a reference point.

But then part of me says, drugs over people anytime is bad. But then I think, what if the drug is helping me reach the place I want to be (my belief is spiritual/emotional enlightenment and the sharing of that is the sole purpose of life)? I know I'm not gonna marry this girl, hell, it's my first adult relationship.

Thoughts?

 

[Si Dread]

Wow, so you lie to your girlfriend AND you drive on drugs? Not very mature... that's what I think...

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Wow, so you lie to your girlfriend AND you drive on drugs? Not very mature... that's what I think...

^ I agree.

At this point you need to look at your behaviour. It's no wonder your girl left you because of it.

Of course if chemical use is a detriment to your relationships, it means you're an addict.

Just because it's affecting your relationship doesn't always mean you're addicted.

But I'm talking in terms of whether or not you would give up these life affirming, loving experiences for a girl that doesn't approve. I think I crossed a line, and she won't come back around. But assuming she would, answer me this. Would you quit psychedelics for a girl who doesn't understand, or not be willing to forego these spiritual and personal growing experiences for someone you know you aren't a good match with?

You think you crossed a line? You need to take a long hard look at whether you're ready to be in a relationship. Your actions scream 'self-indulgent teen' and no respectable woman would put up with it.

They let me see things from an unbiased view

IMO your view is very biased.

 

[Si Dread]

I should add the caveat that no-one is immune from making mistakes & the truly enlightened can only learn from theirs...

 

[hypnagogic]

I dated a girl for a few months who was against me using any substances except occasional alcohol. I had no problem giving them up because she was more important to me. As the relationship began to collapse I thought about how I'd only changed myself for her and what a waste it had been now that it was coming to an end.

A few months later I started dating a girl who also used psychedelics and other drugs and the quality of the relationship is much better. Not just because I didn't have to change my behavior for someone else, but because we can share these unique and intimate experiences in altered states with each other that I never would have been able to have with my ex. I'd say within two or three months of dating my current girlfriend we were closer than I ever was with my ex.

So while it may not be mature behavior on your part to lie about using drugs (and especially drive under the influence), the fact that you did it means you should take the time to consider the alternatives to being with someone who wishes to restrict you in this way. If you're a person who enjoys psychedelics, especially for personal development, and you don't think you would stop using them any time soon for your own reasons then find someone you can be with who will share the experiences with you or remain single. It is certainly not worth trying to hide drug use of any kind from a significant other.

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

Honestly these are understandable mistakes, I've driven on psyches before (stupid I know), and I've lied to close friends about my usage, also stupid I know.
I can see where you're coming from, but these aren't the psychedelics mistakes, they are yours and yours alone.
Long story short you shouldn't have lied to your girlfriend but why does she have the right to be mad at you because you had your car towed and lost your money?
You paid her back in due time, she should have been more understanding imo.
But in the end if you had a problem with drugs and because of that swore to her to be sober, you shouldn't have lied when you slipped up.
In the end the majority of the blame rests with you, but she seems reluctant to try to understand your situation, to end things so bluntly after one slip up is ridiculous to me.
Sooooo basically what I'm saying is I feel pretty sympathetic for you, it's just a shitty situation, but not the drugs fault as it was your decision alone to take them

 

[phantomcosmonaut]

She doesn't seem like she tried to understand your situation, so its her fault really. What wrong did you really do? You shouldn't have lied, but you only did it because you knew she wouldn't keep an open mind about it.
Psychedelics are completely different from other drugs. We're not talking about heroin or cocaine or even alcohol which can cause physical harm and addiction. I know that its hard for people to let go of their bias against all drugs, but if they can't its their problem, not yours. They may try to make it your problem or create a problem for you, so at that point you need to pick the people or the drugs. Would you rather have a closed-minded friend who can't accept you? Or safe drugs which can change your life in incredible ways?
Personally, if I have someone in my life who can't accept my drug use then I won't involve myself with them. I've had plenty of arguments and discussions with numerous people about psychedelic drugs, and I debate until they run out of things to say and can't do anything but accept it. In the unusual case in which that doesn't work then I don't associate with them.
...If you were gay and you met someone who disapproved of that specific lifestyle then I'm sure you'd do the same thing.

 

[bloodshed344]

I don't like the tone of the first few replies. If you are a better person because of it than stick with it. If this is true than your girlfriend will eventually see. Otherwise you will find who is truly right for you.

and no, drugs aren't always bad. They are always neutral. By attaching emotions to objects you are becoming illogical. Look at things as they are.

Maybe these little "tidbits of wisdom" can help you.

 

[Salute my shorts]

If someone is trying to stop you from enjoying the life you live and prevent you from doing what makes you happy then its time to move one, find someone more open minded and fun to be with.

 

[my3rdeye]

I find dating chicks who aren't down with tripping are more against the fact you are using your day off to trip rather than spending it with her. Now if you have a girl who will do it with you, you can have bonding experiences and it's super quality time. Nothing worse than tripping and wondering if your gf is pissed and taking each text as epically important. It causes negative vibes in your trip.
Tripping is different than almost any other drug, you cant do it daily. If the girl thinks mushrooms are the same as crack, well fuck her do it anyway and just don't tell her. Remember too you fell in love with someone brainwashed by simple government propaganda, she just doesn't know any better. It's a lie yes, but it's not like you cheated on her.
She would have to be freaking hot for me to stop doing drugs. Even then I usually just say I quit and make sure she never finds out.
But then again I am single so what do I know?

 

[Solipsis]

Seems a lot like a trust issue, in a good relationship where one person is unable to really understand what the other person is doing, having faith will have to make up for the rest. If one or both are unable to do that, it doesn't seem like it is a trusting relationship. When there are also lies, you cannot really put blame on one party - it is just another sign of the lack of trust and faith - which has to go both ways to be healthy.

IMO this is more a general relationship thing, not that much about psychedelics. Whether tripping or being in a relationship is more important is very personal, and it can be a function of the stage of your personal development.
The thread title is misleading...

 

[LucidSDreamr]

If someone is trying to stop you from enjoying the life you live and prevent you from doing what makes you happy then its time to move one, find someone more open minded and fun to be with.

this


I cannot tell you how much pussy my drug use has cost me...ALOT, and not bc i was out of control or doing stupid shit with it, just the fact that I "did drugs" overruled everything else about me, my success in career, good locks, charisma.....everything went back seat to doing drugs.....or often it was "not being christian" that cost me tons of pussy also (ironic but true, those little christians girls want it bad too).

anyways don't change yourself for anybody. NOBODY is perfect and there is no such thing in a relationship as not having a pet peeve about the other person. You cannot change the way you live for somebody else....that person does not love you if they are keeping you from something that brings you joy just for their own selfish reasons, because they are uncomfortable with drugs or uneducated about them....and unfortunately its hard to change these peoples minds and make them see the light but it can happen sometimes. But if you're acting like a junkie, getting in trouble legally, failing in life etc....then thats an excuse (beyond responsible use) that somebody coould leave you for

 

[bloodshed344]

Seems a lot like a trust issue, in a good relationship where one person is unable to really understand what the other person is doing, having faith will have to make up for the rest. If one or both are unable to do that, it doesn't seem like it is a trusting relationship. When there are also lies, you cannot really put blame on one party - it is just another sign of the lack of trust and faith - which has to go both ways to be healthy.

IMO this is more a general relationship thing, not that much about psychedelics. Whether tripping or being in a relationship is more important is very personal, and it can be a function of the stage of your personal development.
The thread title is misleading...

This point goes hand in hand with my comment about all drugs being neutral. The problem is you and here, psychedelics are just a front for the real problem. There could be anything instead of psychedelics in that situation, and you would still have the problem. If it makes you happy, do it. Your girlfriend isn't making you happy apparently. Give you both some time to think.

 

[thizzkid]

the best metaphor for drug use and particularly psychedelic drug use is that it is like the force in star wars; there is a light side and the dark side where the light side is the loving affirming experiences that teach you about who you are and about the world, however the dark side is when your desire to have these experiences overpowers your desire to maintain relationships with the ones you love and care about. I dont know how muxh you care for this girl, so that part is for you to gauge, but if it is truly reaching you who you are then go for it, just be weary of the dark side.

Also another side note, you should not be taking psychedelics or any drugs for that manner and driving, however life-enhancing your experiences may be, you're putting others at risk for your benefit and that sir is also the dark side.

be safe and make the right decision whatever it may be

 

[kidklmx]

I don't think she broke up with you because you had 4-HO-MET, she broke up because you were dishonest and immature. That's something else altogether.

Personally, I would never date a girl that wouldn't approve of my use of psychedelics. Her view of the world would just be too limited. Following the whole "drugs are bad hmm'kay"-scheme, she'd probably believe a lot more other crap as well. Sure it's fine if she's worried about things like the frequency of tripping, or that I use something like the NBOMe-class drugs, but she has to trust me that I make the right choices in life. That I know what I'm doing, even though I might not be going anywhere at the time. She doesn't even have to be open to doing a psychedelic, they're not for everyone, but at least have an open-mind about the world.

Shit, now I'm sad again that my girlfriend is at the other side of Europe. You don't just find a girl like that nowadays

EDIT: It's only temporary Si Ingwe, so it's not that bad, but still. Also the thought of her falling in love with some French guy pops in to my head a lot, lol

 

[Si Dread]

Dont be sad Kid!

It just depends on how important this stuff really is for you. Drugs use & my quirky music tastes are something that gets brought up long before I meet some special girl, before even the first phonecall. In fact, on dating sites my profile would say something like - "I like smoking dope & listening to reggae & I like taking Ecstacy & raving to hardcore, please don't reply to me if you don't approve of these activities!" Gets everything out in the open from the off!

 

[amazing]

Your girlfriend is right for being annoyed, just put yourself in her shoes.
Your taking drugs, and no matter how you word it, 'its a psychedelic, it's safe. Not addicting, blah blah blah'.

She's still going to be mad because she cares about you, no one wants a loved one taking drugs. especially when they have responsibility, such as a girlfriend.

And you drove and took a psychedelic, jesus do you know how dangerous that is? Other drugs can slowly kill you, but driving while drugged up, can kill you instantly.

Imagine how'd you make your family feel, your girlfriend and the rest, if you died in a car crash. after the funeral your familys there to hear the results of the autopsy and learn that you was drugged up at the time.
Your just going to look like a worthless and stupid man, do you really want to die in such a unhonorable way? to be remembered as that guy who took a shit ton of acid and killed himself in a car crash?

Man up. stop taking drugs to help you cope with life, and go back and get your girlfriend and promise never to touch any drug again. and stand by that promise.


Sorry if i sound harsh, but you need to see the error of your ways, the most precious thing in your life leaves you, and you just let her go? and continue taking drugs.


Good luck with your life man.

 

[justinsayno]

Man up. stop taking drugs to help you cope with life, and go back and get your girlfriend and promise never to touch any drug again. and stand by that promise.

.

What the fuck ?


OP..... just do what you want

As you say its your 1st proper girlfriend, just let her go and find someone less demanding and hysterical or just be single...
Having a girlfriend is not the be-all / end-all.
Some people have rushed to give you a hard time when its seems to me that the only thing you did wrong was drive high.

Enjoy being young, but don't mess up your career or education or health. If you wanna trip then trip. Don't take the 'message' too seriously tho.

Those are my thoughts

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

Is like to add that his girlfriend was annoyed before she saw the scale or suspected anything, he simply lost his wallet and accidentally got his car towed. She sounds very condescending
And he never once seemed like he was taking drugs to cope with his life.
Your post is just as you say, harsh. Unnecessarily so
If she refuses to attempt to understand his lifestyle, give her up, it wouldn't have worked in the long run anyways it seems

EDIT: and everyone is giving you a hard time for lying, and while it WAS wrong, how many of you have lied about your drug use, or where you went with your buddies to your girlfriend/partner?
EVERYBODY
don't give him such a hard time for something we all have done and will continue to do even though we know its wrong
We feel guilty about it but we don't want to start a fight or have other good reasons.
Me lying to my parents about my drug use has no doubt saved our relationship.
Without a doubt

 

[amazing]

what do you mean, by what the fuck?

Drug use is all good and well, but you shouldn't let it ruin your relationships, drug use should be like a hobby.
You do it in your free time, but if your girlfriend wants you to quit and you respect her, thats what you should do.

Theres more important things in life then getting high, so if you have to stop, stop.
Because it's obvious this guy is overdoing it, driving while on acid...

Here's an example,
I used to smoke weed daily, but i recently got a job and have to wake up at 5 in the morning.
Weed was making me oversleep and just not hear my alarm because i was in such a deep sleep, so i stopped smoking weed daily, and stuck to smoking it when i don't have work the next day.

Where as some people would just quit work and continue smoking weed, which is a poor choice. But then will regret it in the future, like OP will.

I know there not the same things, but it's basically the same concept.

-----------
But sure if OP's girlfriend was just more of a lust thing then love, and if he doesn't really care that she left (It's obvious that he cares, or he wouldn't post this thread), it would be fine for him to just move on and fine a girlfriend that accepts his drug-use.

That's why i'm telling him to quit, because he obviously loves this women. Whereas if he didn't give a shit about his ex, i would just say continue what your doing.


It's not like i said, everyone stop taking drugs! I'm saying this guy in particular should stop taking drugs, to save his relationship.