Indeed.
If animals were equal, more people would eat horses and ride snails.
I like this post. It's always good to listen to someone who's gone from one side, to the other, back again, and then come up with an insightful reflection on it all.
I suspect that I'm not done and that I will settle on veganism. Currently, with my eating habits and my budget, it's too hard. So, I try to convince myself (like all meat eaters do) that there's nothing wrong with it. It's easier to function - and get to a place where I can make that change (I'm listening to Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson) - if I maintain the delusion that I'm totally okay with what I'm doing. That's what the OP's OP was: an acknowledgement that it is wrong; followed by a distancing...
I worry that I will be swallowed up in the denial. And, at the same time, I worry that - as time goes on - I worry less... Like, I'm growing accustomed to the mask and forgetting my face. (I have to maintain that fear, I think, if I ever want to be truly free of this guilt, rather than endlessly postponing it.) By this point in my life, though, I don't actually think I will forget who I really am and get swallowed up into *whatever you want to call that hell*. I'm pretty fucking stubbornly stubborn.
I was happier - spiritually - eating a vegan diet.
But I didn't do it properly. It's not that it can't be done.
I'd rather sacrifice the little comfort I gain by denial - by postponing my guilt - if it means I don't contribute to the misconception that veganism can not be perfectly healthy... I can't contribute to the problem even more, just because I'm contributing to it in the first place.
The thing is I'm a drug addict. We all are.
I've been worse. Heroin. Meth. Alcoholism.
Now, I smoke weed. But, I'm still an addict.
If I'm going to be a functional vegan, and maintain that life-style, I need to get a bit more sober/functional.
And that makes me think I'm choosing marijuana over the ethical treatment of animals.
I don't need to think about that, at the moment. I'm getting there. I'll make up for it.
I care more about eating an animal-friendly diet than I do saving starving African children: the consumption of factory-farmed meats is harm that I am doing; and the latter is something I am not doing anything about.
I have this nagging thought that Tomorrow never comes.
But, I have faith that it will soon enough; "tomorrow," I think, "is on it's way."
It's all about faith. Everything is. How much I believe (or disbelieve) determines the outcome.
And, my faith outweighs my doubt.
-FEA