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April getting/staying sober thread v. April showers

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^^ Interesting.


On an unrelated note, I hate insomnia with a burning passion from within my core. It is the bane of my existence, the wellspring of all that is unholy. It is a most grand source of restlessly irritable discontentedness, a fiery chasm of resentfully aggravating defective cognition, and I fucking hate it.


But at least I'm not dope sick, and for that, I am Grateful.


-edit

On a more positive note, I just found out that I DONT have to go to class at ALL this week, SPRING BREAK FTMFW. Stayed up all night in order to make it too class, but no class. CHOP POT.
 
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^^ Awesome man, Keep trying! A lapse during recovery is only a failure of the individual entirely gives up. Having the courage to keep on trying, to persevere through the worst of it - that is what it takes to beat this thing sometimes. Keep up your motivation and crush this thing!
 
CaseFace said:
^^ Don't come? In my experience it's incredibly difficult to last any substantial length of time when fresh off opiates. Everybodys body is different though.
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Yeah I'm the opposite. When I was on opiates I couldn't no matter what we tried. We'd go for so long that she would either get tired or we'd just give up. I think opiates restrict mysclea making I harder for anything to get out. It was the same with me trying to take a piss when on opiates, I couldn't do it. I'd stand at the toilet for like 10 minutes before I could go
 
Missed posting yesterday, today is day 6. Longest I've gone in almost 4 years! Yesterday was the easiest yet, no aches or chills. Had an appetite which was gone for the first 4 days. Woke up starving this morning!
 
Keep pushing PapaV<3

I have been rolling along pretty smooth even though im getting allot of things done to improve my life. I used to have trouble with stress and emotion when it came to makeing big changes in my life. Now that I am able to fix my self in the present and am able to recognize and enjoy the here and now, the next step was being able to work toward future goal while still being able to enjoy the here and now. For so long I was so focused on getting to some goal or some place in my life I never was able to enjoy life. I was so fixated with tomorrow that I ignored all the magic of today. Since tomorrow never gets here, because its then just today, which would find me ignoring it because I was once again obsessed with tomorrow, I was missing life.

So Im doing a good job of drinking in the moment, but have learned to promote a desired tomorrow while doing it.
 
Started coming down with a cold Friday but that
Didnt slow down my drinking at all
Finally so sick I had to skip work & buy cold meds (i never do either) .. parked on the couch with a cat now, guess it's Detox Day 1 :\
 
It feels so good to be opiate free for as long as I have been again. Prescription drugs suck, they really do. They grabbed me in a headlock and made it so hard to get out of.
 
^^Awesome Case, I'm in the middle of day 6 off opiates. Things are going well and I'm realizing how much I obsessed on opiates even when I was using. Went skiing yesterday and was kind of dreading it as I haven't been skiing sober in a very long time. Thought I'd get tired, sore or bored with it after an hour or so. I had a blast, spent 6 hrs on the mountain before taking a piss break. Two weeks ago I went and lasted two hrs cause I needed to get back to my car for a "fix" then I couldn't have cared less about getting out of the car to take some more runs. The exercise felt great and my legs ache like a bitch today but it's the good kind of ache! My back hurts but I've come to terms with the fact that my back will never be the same and drugs that mask that pain certainly aren't an answer. Fuck I wasted a lot of time with opiates! Oh and for the record, I've been off booze now for almost 12 months. May 5 will be one year off alcohol!
 
i'm so sick of this, that I tried to quit today Cold Turkey.
I made it until 7:00 PM,
The physical w/d's were extremely bad, I couldn't even move, but the psychological aspect was worse.
I literally felt like I was losing my mind.
Like having a bad flu while tripping on acid.

Can someone who is more experienced comment on this (is it normal)?

Last time I quit was nothing like this, I think I need to taper some more.


ETA: Also had a strong metallic taste all day, could have been gabapentin or clonidine side effects.
Some mucus built up in the back of my throat, which caused some anxiety about breathing (I have been having asthma lately).
Could not urinate at about 6:00, even though I needed to, it was a really tough day.
 
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^^SF how long have you been tapering? Are you dropping a little everyday or dropping every few days? I tapered for a little over two months. I did big drops at first (50% the first day) and smaller ones at the end (10% every five days). I spent 5 days at each new dose, day one was always pretty easy with WD's kicking in at the end of the day. I took gabapentin only at night to help with sleep and doses every morning. It was always at the same time of day. Day two and three of each drop always had some sort of manageable WD's with day three always being the worst. Days four and five I started feeling better as I stabilized at the new dose. The idea of my taper was to minimize the WD symptoms, not eliminate them. Every five days I made it, the more confident I became that I could do it. Maybe look at your schedule again, write it down, cross off days and don't get down on yourself.

You can do it!

Moc
 
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Space Firebird said:
i'm so sick of this, that I tried to quit today Cold Turkey.
I made it until 7:00 PM,
The physical w/d's were extremely bad, I couldn't even move, but the psychological aspect was worse.
I literally felt like I was losing my mind.
Like having a bad flu while tripping on acid.

Can someone who is more experienced comment on this (is it normal)?

Last time I quit was nothing like this, I think I need to taper some more.


ETA: Also had a strong metallic taste all day, could have been gabapentin or clonidine side effects.
Some mucus built up in the back of my throat, which caused some anxiety about breathing (I have been having asthma lately).
Could not urinate at about 6:00, even though I needed to, it was a really tough day.
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I dont think anybody would be able to do it with the medications in the same house. If you know you dont have and cant get the substance the craving subside a great deal.

it sounds like you are really close Space.. all you likely need to do is decide that no matter what your going to push through.. come hell or high water, no matter how you feal your going to push through till the end.. then get to a place where you couldn't score if you wanted to.. then just just grin and bare it and realize that you will make it through.

never give up and you are guaranteed to succeed.
 
Mocmoc said:
^^Awesome Case, I'm in the middle of day 6 off opiates. Things are going well and I'm realizing how much I obsessed on opiates even when I was using. Went skiing yesterday and was kind of dreading it as I haven't been skiing sober in a very long time. Thought I'd get tired, sore or bored with it after an hour or so. I had a blast, spent 6 hrs on the mountain before taking a piss break. Two weeks ago I went and lasted two hrs cause I needed to get back to my car for a "fix" then I couldn't have cared less about getting out of the car to take some more runs. The exercise felt great and my legs ache like a bitch today but it's the good kind of ache! My back hurts but I've come to terms with the fact that my back will never be the same and drugs that mask that pain certainly aren't an answer. Fuck I wasted a lot of time with opiates! Oh and for the record, I've been off booze now for almost 12 months. May 5 will be one year off alcohol!
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Thanks dude. And that's awesome that you went skiing, getting back into hobbies in sobriety is AWESOME because it reminds you how much fun you can actually have without drugs, and that the "fun" you thought you had on drugs was really just a waste of time. Purely awesome on having a year off booze as well, that's no small feat!

Papaverium said:
That's awesome, so close to a year! Any celebration plans?

I would travel with all that money I'd save for a year of no drugs :))

~Ms.P
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No celebration plans yet, maybe just have some friends over to my new place for a smallish party and/or go out somewhere with a group of people, I probably won't do anything too big. I also don't want to make any assumptions or have any expectations. Sure, at the rate I'm going I'll most likely have a year a month from now - but there is ALWAYS a chance that I might fall off and go back out, and I don't want to focus on something that hasn't happened yet and lose sight of reality.

Space Firebird said:
i'm so sick of this, that I tried to quit today Cold Turkey.
I made it until 7:00 PM,
The physical w/d's were extremely bad, I couldn't even move, but the psychological aspect was worse.
I literally felt like I was losing my mind.
Like having a bad flu while tripping on acid.

Can someone who is more experienced comment on this (is it normal)?

Last time I quit was nothing like this, I think I need to taper some more.


ETA: Also had a strong metallic taste all day, could have been gabapentin or clonidine side effects.
Some mucus built up in the back of my throat, which caused some anxiety about breathing (I have been having asthma lately).
Could not urinate at about 6:00, even though I needed to, it was a really tough day.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time with this man. Remind me again, what are you detoxing from? I apologize, a lot of different people on here trying to get clean off of different substances it's hard to remember everyones specifics!! Can't really give a lot of advice without knowing the substance. Stay strong with your commitment to this though! You haven't failed, you've hit some bumps in the road and the only way to succeed in the end is to keep trucking along and steering back on track when you get knocked off course. You're a strong person and I know you have the courage to fight the good fight!
 
CaseFace said:
No celebration plans yet, maybe just have some friends over to my new place for a smallish party and/or go out somewhere with a group of people, I probably won't do anything too big. I also don't want to make any assumptions or have any expectations. Sure, at the rate I'm going I'll most likely have a year a month from now - but there is ALWAYS a chance that I might fall off and go back out, and I don't want to focus on something that hasn't happened yet and lose sight of reality.
Click to expand...

Very true... there have been many times I've made "for sure" plans that have fallen through...
 
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