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April getting/staying sober thread v. April showers

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Hi again guys. Hope you are well.

I've been on an upswing. Have not Iv'd anything in months now, and have used less than 4 mg of dilaudid orally this month so doing well on that end.

I switched doctors and I really like him and for some reason he makes me want to be healthy. I see him often outside the office, so it makes me want to try harder I guess. He wants me off all controlled substances and wants me to wean off my ambien.... Which scares me. Ambien helped me kick the narcotics. He's recommending trazodone, but I wanted to do more research. He's ordering my ambien for now, but wants me to switch soon. Anyone do well on another med for sleep even with a drug tolerance?

Hey whitexrabbit,

I've done well with gabapentin in the past, I was given it in conjunction withe the pain meds as it has an "off label" use for nerve pain. I'm not sure how well it works for the pain as I've always had some sort of opiate with it. However, it does make me very sleepy as a side effect. It is not a controlled substance but does have potential for abuse in extremely large doses. I've always taken it as Rx'd though. My doctor told me to keep taking it without the opiates as he said it will promote sleep. He didn't even mention it helping with the pain this time, just the sleep. So maybe something to ask your doc about?
 
Day three and I was feeling great this morning, started getting the chills, the runs, sneezing a lot and have the aches but am overall still functional. I have a lot of projects to do in the yard and that's been helping to keep my mind off things and helps with the aches. Right now I'd say it's like having a rough cold. Day three is usually my worst day, so if this is the worst, I'll take it and thank my HP for sparing me from what I've gone through in the past. I think the taper really helped. I've tried tapering in the past but probably didn't do it long enough. In the past I've done 2-3 week tapers without success. I stretched this one out for over two months with big drops in the beginning and smaller ones towards the end (not counting my little binge, even then I was only taking one tenth of my original dose.) Anyway, rambling now to get out of my head.

Sometimes I wonder if a "normal" person had my head for a day if it would feel like they were on drugs.

Done. For. Good.

I pray!
 
Thanks for the advice everyone. Picked up some melatonin to try while weaning ambien. Gabapentin is a good option too... I'm hoping not to need anything at all eventually.
 
@Mocmoc,

(1) When I'm having a craving I try to remind myself that the craving is going to pass regardless of wether or not I use, it isn't going to last forever and the more times you hold strong and don't give in the easier it will get to overcome them.

(2) Likewise, the more times you give in to the craving the stronger they will become and the more difficult it will be to resist the urge.

(3) If you're having a craving, it's been my experience that the worst thing to do is nothing. To just sit and be in your head while you're craving is dangerous, most times in the past that I have relapsed are times when I had a craving and allowed myself to be alone and think about whether or not to use. Often once I started considering using or not, I didn't know it but had already decided I was gonna do it. So nowadays, if I have a craving I immediately try to either find someone to talk to like one of my roommates or a friend, and if talking to another person isn't an option for whatever reason then I find something to occupy my mind be it homework, reading, a good movie, video games, working out/running, etc.

That's a good post right there, case, with a lot of good points. I copied it over to my own personal notes for future inspiration - thanks!
 
^^ I very much appreciated that post as well. @CaseFace, you have very clear messages! Thanks for helping!! This thread is reminding me of what it was like to be sober, working a program and helping others through our own experiences and how important it is to be a part of a group that is working towards the same goal. Thank you to everyone on this board!

Three days in the can!
 
I'm planning on attending some SMART meetings this week in my area. I have never attended one of these meetings, but I have high hopes after looking, in detail, into the philosophy behind the SMART meeting method. I will check back in here after I have attended the meetings and let you all know how it goes :)
 
^^ I very much appreciated that post as well. @CaseFace, you have very clear messages! Thanks for helping!! This thread is reminding me of what it was like to be sober, working a program and helping others through our own experiences and how important it is to be a part of a group that is working towards the same goal. Thank you to everyone on this board!

Three days in the can!

That's awesome man keep it up, 3 days is no easy feat. Trust that things continue to get easier with time.

Hope everyone is well. I know I haven't been posting as much as usual lately, I've been reading through many of the threads when I have time but just haven't had the time to reply to everything that I'd like to. Doing alright, not too much I can complain about right now other than my own laziness in terms of getting things done when I'm supposed too but thats on me, and nothing new haha.

Keep up the good work everyone. It's always nice to read about how well people are doing on here. :)
 
sunrise.jpg
 
Melatonin helped last night. I took half a dose of ambien and fell asleep and didn't need to redose in the middle of the night. Feel great today.
Good job mocmoc!!!
 
^^ I'm right there with you man. That's how I've been, and the mornings I have class if I end up going it's because I decided to stay up all night.
 
Day 4, haven't made it past 4 days without opiates in well over a year. Tomorrow will be a milestone! Felt like crap this morning, took some Motrin and lope, amazingly they helped, I feel like my body is finally getting back to normal. Thanks to prayer and preservation that I was able to complete my taper, it did wonders for minimizing the WD this time I'm gonna make it to five days!
 
^ well done, my friend! That is quite an achievement :) Please keep us posted on your progress ;)

I have my second D&A counselling session on in about 20 mins. I'm hopeful that this will keep me on the straight and narrow, so as I can stay clean from opiate abuse and make a life with my love <3
 
Points of note from my D&A counselling session:

1) sex is a very useful alternative to opiate abuse. Not only does it help re-regulate endorphin production, if I don't cum and she does, it is an awesome feeling to give someone I love so much pleasure. I should remind myself that if I don't cum, she will, and that is a good thing for her and myself.

2) my relationship with my father during my younger years led to an aim of perfectionism. His father was a school principal. My father had a distrust for me and watched my every move when I was a child; I became untrusting of myself as a result. I need to learn to trust myself to get my life in track without substances.

3) I am hard on myself for the mistakes I have made and I often feel ashamed. To remedy this, I have been advised to set some reminders in my phone, throughout the day, to tell me what I have achieved and that I am successful, despite all the mess ups in my life. I am on the road to recovery and have a chance at a great life.

4) yoga in the AM. Running in the PM.

5) grounding exercises, such as going to the beach and watching the waves...feel the waves...be at one with my surroundings. Get back to nature; when in the forest (which I am currently living near), sit down and trace out the outline of the trees with my eyes. Feel the nature...get amongst it!

6) be aware of my triggers and use the above methods to get through the urges.


I hope someone can relate to this :)

Good luck, everyone :D <3
 
^^ Don't come? In my experience it's incredibly difficult to last any substantial length of time when fresh off opiates. Everybodys body is different though.
 
^^ Don't come? In my experience it's incredibly difficult to last any substantial length of time when fresh off opiates. Everybodys body is different though.
I've been off them for a while. Cumming is but a tiny part of what I wish to convey, but since you mentioned it: sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
 
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