I'm not sure if this particular thread is still active. Also, I apologize if the breadth of information following, make my own post a nightmare of categorization on the forum; much of it does, in fact, pertain to many statements that I have read here. The purpose of the vast rhetoric here is meant to be as transparent as possible for the furthered purpose of accurate feedback. Personally, my mind does not seem to have a inherent time stamp, so to speak. Hopefully people involved can recall the repertoire within the thread. Even so, I'm sure the vast knowledge of all you folks can handle it regardless. Indeed, I am impressed/intimidated by, well umm, previously stated knowledge. I'm not sure if my last sentence was simply a redundancy, or if it was completely irrelevant. Yeah, I think about stuff.
Anyways, enough rambling.
This may be a strange concept, as I see much confusion within this post in regards to the utility of virtually cancelling out one thing with another; which, just so happens to be, exactly what I am attempting to accomplish. If I've lost anyone simply by this opening statement, please do not whip yourself in shame; as apparently, my perspective is quite confusing for various medical practitioners as well. The thing is, my mental physiology undergoes intense highs and lows, with a almost random lack of pattern. Thus: my attempt to use self-made "ups" and "downs" as a sort of preemptive strike in order to stay more or less neutral, or evened out. (slight side path) I've just reminded myself that I had meant to compliment you all on your frank and straight forward information. I suppose that I'm a bit new to the wondrous world of forums, and once again, it just so happens, that I am like minded in this regard. So, without further adieu; I doctor myself. I smoke meth, I guess mostly to supplement a inherent and chronic fatigue, due to nearly overwhelming depression and also quite a poor diet. And yes, the anxiety... oooh my lol. A pin drops and I feel like I'm going to go all zombie roid rage and literally tear people limb from limb. Swell huh? Actually "the pin" in this case, is most often acorns falling on thin roof. Moving on, I've acquired some of this Gabapentin recently, kind of just a hand off from a friend, and only just looked up what it is recently, pretty cool actually. Too bad it's limited; I may try to get a script once depleted. Anyways, 600mg pills; I took 2 with some milk (whole milk is a given of course [I don't dabble in "excuses" for milk lol]) about halfway through reading the thread, whilst continuing to smoke on and off. Half management, half addiction I guess. Now, as I'm almost 30 minutes into my long winded excerpt here; well, feeling mighty nice, in fact. Which is exactly what I'm going for. My "high" is a state of "not high". I don't want to be manic/jittery. I don't want to be brain deadish either. My curse and also my forte is that I can't seem to do anything without thinking about it first (which still, in no way, necessarily means I'll end making a better decision); revolving redundancies mostly. The mission: I want to think clearly and in a specific direction. I also, do not want to drown in a endless sludge of thought. The questions (fact and feelings): Am I doing right by my "choice" of uppers (meth) and downers (right now Gabapentin)? Of these 600mg pills, how many and how often would anyone suggest taking them? (as stated, the 1200mg dose seems to have worked good till right now.[happening as I speak. Completely vanilla self-trial stages]). Keep in mind, I'm not trying to relax or go to sleep; I'm looking for a functional state. How will the Gabapentin theoretically affect my reaction time and motor skills and at what levels? Also related, I'm curious of the possibility and/or effects of mixing 10mg Cyclobenzaprine with the Gabapentin? Also, is Neurontin the same thing or interchangeable for Gabapentin? Guess I missed that somewhere, or just forgot by this point in my novel sized post lol, sorry! Lastly: My template of even steven being clear, are there any suggestions for replacements or substitutes of anything. I'll be honest, my quest for info, or the "right" thing is not always so grand. What I'm currently using is just how the cards played or what fell into my lap.
Closing statement: I swear I'm not a douche lol. I'm not a high minded elitist or anything like that; in case anyone got a vibe like that. I enjoy interactions with people, brainstorming, feedback and the like. I guess I just really like words and writing. Funny thing is, I talk with a completely different vocabulary and manner than I write with. Yep, there's a lot of folks vying for dominance up in my skull.
That's all then. Any feedback, or really, correspondence of any kind is both welcome and very appreciated. Thank you for your time ladies and gentlemen, and take heart in the fact that it took me much longer to write this, than it did for you to read it. Ciao!
