OfficialHeadCutter
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2012
- Messages
- 3
Okay so I'm 19 years old, and I have something I can't decide if it's a disorder or something I do wrong in my way of thinking.
I've been hanging with the rough crowd all my life, and even though I'm used to being in this type of crowd, I have a really annoying problem. For some reason, when I'm with people who (even though they may be tough and all) make me feel comfortable, I'm cool and I act the way I want. But when I'm with people who either try to make fun of me, or when I'm with a group of people who all know each other and are comfortable with each other, I always feel out of place.
This really disrupts my mental peace, because even though I wanna be the type of person who won't take sh*t from nobody, and make an impression that they will respect, I always end up looking like a loser. And marijuana has only made things worse for me. I've been smoking for 2 years, and I'm thinking of quitting to see if it'll help any. I've also did MDMA 6-7 times, in freebase form mostly, but also tried pills. While I was rolling it felt much easier to be myself and be respected for it, but after the comedown, it only got even more worse, and it doesn't seem to come back to normal.
You might try and tell me who I really am doesn't fit in that company, but I know I do, because when I'm with people who don't try to make me prove myself, I am who I am, and even if something happens later and they try to be aggressive with me, I can be aggressive too, but when I get in a crowd where everybody knows each other, but try to test me and stuff, I change completely.
If anybody can help me with this I'll be really grateful because it's been ruining my mood for some time now, to the point where I almost became depressive as a person. I just want this anxiety to go away and be acting like I want to no matter who I'm with. Thank you very much
I've been hanging with the rough crowd all my life, and even though I'm used to being in this type of crowd, I have a really annoying problem. For some reason, when I'm with people who (even though they may be tough and all) make me feel comfortable, I'm cool and I act the way I want. But when I'm with people who either try to make fun of me, or when I'm with a group of people who all know each other and are comfortable with each other, I always feel out of place.
This really disrupts my mental peace, because even though I wanna be the type of person who won't take sh*t from nobody, and make an impression that they will respect, I always end up looking like a loser. And marijuana has only made things worse for me. I've been smoking for 2 years, and I'm thinking of quitting to see if it'll help any. I've also did MDMA 6-7 times, in freebase form mostly, but also tried pills. While I was rolling it felt much easier to be myself and be respected for it, but after the comedown, it only got even more worse, and it doesn't seem to come back to normal.
You might try and tell me who I really am doesn't fit in that company, but I know I do, because when I'm with people who don't try to make me prove myself, I am who I am, and even if something happens later and they try to be aggressive with me, I can be aggressive too, but when I get in a crowd where everybody knows each other, but try to test me and stuff, I change completely.
If anybody can help me with this I'll be really grateful because it's been ruining my mood for some time now, to the point where I almost became depressive as a person. I just want this anxiety to go away and be acting like I want to no matter who I'm with. Thank you very much