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Anyone here who can offer personality advice?

O

OfficialHeadCutter

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
3
Okay so I'm 19 years old, and I have something I can't decide if it's a disorder or something I do wrong in my way of thinking.

I've been hanging with the rough crowd all my life, and even though I'm used to being in this type of crowd, I have a really annoying problem. For some reason, when I'm with people who (even though they may be tough and all) make me feel comfortable, I'm cool and I act the way I want. But when I'm with people who either try to make fun of me, or when I'm with a group of people who all know each other and are comfortable with each other, I always feel out of place.

This really disrupts my mental peace, because even though I wanna be the type of person who won't take sh*t from nobody, and make an impression that they will respect, I always end up looking like a loser. And marijuana has only made things worse for me. I've been smoking for 2 years, and I'm thinking of quitting to see if it'll help any. I've also did MDMA 6-7 times, in freebase form mostly, but also tried pills. While I was rolling it felt much easier to be myself and be respected for it, but after the comedown, it only got even more worse, and it doesn't seem to come back to normal.

You might try and tell me who I really am doesn't fit in that company, but I know I do, because when I'm with people who don't try to make me prove myself, I am who I am, and even if something happens later and they try to be aggressive with me, I can be aggressive too, but when I get in a crowd where everybody knows each other, but try to test me and stuff, I change completely.

If anybody can help me with this I'll be really grateful because it's been ruining my mood for some time now, to the point where I almost became depressive as a person. I just want this anxiety to go away and be acting like I want to no matter who I'm with. Thank you very much
 
Well being aggressive is just in poor taste lad. Either make fun of them, or start making fun of yourself in jest. Show them how it's done properly. Being respected is a fleeting and useless experience let it go :D
Anxiety is a just a mental puzzle to solve.
 
Actually I don't really care all that much about being respected, I just don't like wanting to say something and feeling that anxiety type of fear that I get in the circumstances I described. It feels like holding back from being my own self...
 
At least you are aware of it, which is a big step toward changing this issue....if it is an issue. Some people are socially awkward and don't even know it.

Just understand that you are not the first person nor are you the only person to feel this way. You would prolly be surprised to find that more people feel this way than you think. You said that you are comfortable when it's just you and your friends but uncomfortable around people who all know each other except you. Sounds like a pretty normal social situation if you ask me. Welcome to adulthood.
 
Actually I've noticed it's much easier to be myself when I dont smoke weed for a few days...should I just give up the sweet herb? :/
 
Weed makes me paranoid, so I avoid it in social situations. Also, I know hanging around the rough crowd probably molds you into a person who is a lot more guarded. Nothing wrong with that, but don't let it make you into an aggressive person who isn't liked by anyone. No one wants to chill with the guy who is overly aggressive, especially potheads. Just chill.
 
cut out the weed and see if it helps.

its not good for everyone. i like it but its not a social drug on its own:\
 
I'll agree with everyone and repeat that you should probably cut out the weed. Also the effects you experienced from MDMA are perfectly normal. Something that helps me when I feel awkward in social situations is to tell myself that the people I'm with have nothing 'on' me, aren't better than me until proven so and are probably just as nervous about me as I am about them. It's more daunting in a group obviously, but still. It helps to think like that.
 
you sound real normal and experimental, and shy and non-autonomous.

It doesn't sound like you should be hanging around with any of these people - my advice to you, spend time around family you get on with, talk to new people you meet at places like the library, the park, the beach, who you attract just by simple small talk practice small talk.

Those people you are hanging around with, you are allowing them to get you anxious and wound up round yourself.

Learn to deal with being yourself, alone, then you can move onto finding real friends, who will always have your back, even if sometimes it feels like they are rejecting you - they are teaching you a lesson (stop being an ass) - but they will always have time for you, you just need to learn and be humble.

But my biggest piece of afdvice is learn to be yourself, by yourself. This is important - very very important - until this happens, your interactions with other people will almost exclusively determine how you are feeling in yourself, as you describe.

Concentrate on yourself, your health, and your passion in life. If you don't have one right now, think back to when you were a kid - what did you wanna be (keep true to the dreams of thy youth - schiller)? If that doesn't work - what skills did you have or hobbies before you got into this rut you appear to be in?
 
Anxiety?
It's normal for people with anxiety problems to feel like this, really uncomfortable around people they don't know. I have social anxiety as well as a bit of obsessive compulsive and generalized anxiety. I'm only comfortable around certain people, that number is very few.
 
If I were you I'd see a doctor immediately, psychological conditions are serious business. Please update us on prognosis.
 
nooneanymore said:
You have autism. Everyone has autism today. ...with hints of narcissim.
Click to expand...

yeah real helpful:| how about something constructive instead of just nonsense posts



OP- what you are describing is how most people feel at some point. you are young and people are a lot more prone to anxiety/depression issues at that age

no-one feels relaxed among a group that know each other well. its called being the outsider

i think you need to take some time away from weed. as someone who has had severe psychological/mental health problems in the past (anxiety/bipolar psychosis) cannabis can make anxiety and depression really bad.

before you go to a doctor about your mental health just cut out the weed for a month and see if you feel more confident within yourself.

while i would advocate a doctor for physical health my personal experience of the medical profession in relations to mental health was not all that helpful. anything you can do to help yourself like cutting out the drugs/ changing your diet to eat lots of fish/ b vitamins and cut out hydrongenated/"vegetable" fat (made a huge difference). psychiatrists were way more helpful than doctors but if cutting out the weed could improve this anxiety that would be so much more helpful than more drugs (ssri's are overprescribed and benzos are a dark road i would never suggest for something like this). also excercise is really good for improving mood. do some walking/swimming/running.

i'm saying see a doctor if its that bad but try and change your lifestyle/habits first to see if that can help.

what i'm hearing sounds like social anxiety that only occurs in certain situations. if i was hanging around with people that were trying to make me "prove myself" i too might feel unsettled
 
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only smoke weed when you're going to be in situations where you're totally comfortable. otherwise, it will exacerbate any feelings of awkwardness.
 
So you feel less comfortable in groups of people that you aren't as close with?

That's just normal :\
 
Dre1990 said:
"when I'm with a group of people who all know each other and are comfortable with each other, I always feel out of place."
same here, and I also like the rough crowd...
Click to expand...

That in itself seems pretty normal.
Lol, even I prefer a rougher type crowd anymore. I look young, sweet, innocent, etc. but still hang out with a certain crowd.
Also, if the weed is causing you problems - stop! I have found weed to help my anxiety but that doesn't work for everyone.
 
OfficialHeadCutter said:
Okay so I'm 19 years old, and I have something I can't decide if it's a disorder or something I do wrong in my way of thinking.

I've been hanging with the rough crowd all my life, and even though I'm used to being in this type of crowd, I have a really annoying problem. For some reason, when I'm with people who (even though they may be tough and all) make me feel comfortable, I'm cool and I act the way I want. But when I'm with people who either try to make fun of me, or when I'm with a group of people who all know each other and are comfortable with each other, I always feel out of place.
Click to expand...

I think that you are charmed by the fact you think they are "cool and rough", and they take complete advantage of that. It appeals to your ego. You want to be big like them. However it is you that has acceded to them, and they take advantage completely. Thats why you don't fit in.
 
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