Yes unfortuneately I do have a history of drug abuse.
14 months ago I finished rolling 10 times in 4 months averaging about 20 pills.
During my last two experiences I was knocked out, and then the next one a week later I went through a breakup with my gf and had a HORRIBLE trip. Had insomnia after that for about 6 months, and non stop anxiety, flashbacks, social withdrawl and suicidal ideation. I was diagnosed with PTSD, but for some reason I think its permanent brain damage from rolling a week after a concussion.
But to answer your question, yes i'm most definately depressed over my situation, i'm still in uni but my mind use to always have thoughts going through it, now theres nothing. I'm numb to the world, and my depression isn't the "im down, and I feel to sad/heavy to move depression" its the "I dont feel anything, i feel like an unhuman robot, and nothing matters" kind of numb depression.
I'd rather feel sad, atleast then id be feeling something. ANd i am going to a therapist, and I tried ssris they never did much.