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Any Heroin users out there? Hi, I'm GirlInterrupted.

GirlInterrupted

GirlInterrupted

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 29, 2010
Messages
110
Location
Rehab & Hospitals
I'm new to bluelight.
Some stuff about me hmm... Well I have been in and out a few treatment centers and mental hospitals. I've been using mainly heroin for the past year. Currently I'm trying to recover from addiction. Only a week sober, still going through some pains. I'd like to talk with people who have went though the same as me. But I'm open to talk to anyone :]
btw during my sober time I wrote this poem:
Poppy Man

He enters your soul
Fills up all the holes
You finally feel whole

But he's gone by dawn
& Everything feels wrong
You realize that you're not so strong

Your whole body hurts
When you can't insert
You go berserk

You sell your life away
To make that phone call
& everyone you love is begging you to stay
But you go ahead anyways
In your head you say
"I'll just stop another day"

The cycle begins again
For a while you're in heaven
& You're screaming "AMEN"
Because you finally feel human

One day you'll realize
That he's the devil in disguise
But by then you can't kiss him good bye
Even if you try
Deep in your heart you know why
Deep in your heart you just want to die
There's no point in being alive

Please give me feedback? Thanks

Well If you haven't figured it out yet I'm a girl. Age? guess. :]

Thanks for visiting my thread!
 
WOW that’s a fantastic poem!

I shot heroin for over 20 years; I just had 8 years clean and sober August 18th.
I’m here in these forums on this site because having been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 93’ I suffer from a lot of physical pain, my legs, hips, back, etc… and now I’ve been taking opioid pain meds for several years now.

This is a great place to find out about those types of meds a put in my body among other things.
I’d be more than happy to chat with you and answer any questions you might have.
Sam
 
Hey,
Girl Interrupted was my nickname for awhile - by some old drunks - not really that old I'm almost 30 but they were 40-50. I liked your poem. I am in the same situation, and on probation facing 3.5 years jail time. Sunday I was carried out on a stretcher after my bro found me blue and not breathing. I was more worried about probation and the EMTs were like worry about breathing. I was pissed the cops found my stash too. Thats number 7. My parents think its number 2. but they don't need to know.
How old are you?
 
There are lots of sub forums on Bluelight, The Dark Side would probably be a good place to start :)

You could post that poem in our 'Words' forum :)


Welcome to Bluelight!
 
our boat

im rite ther with you... ill admit i have bupe to ease the pain.. but after shooting up to a gram.5 per day of pure tar... it becomes a mental game thats hard to win.

im losing


talk to me..
 
Thank you for everyone's support!
Well I am 17. Experimented with drugs since I was 14 I think.. And specifically heroin when I was 16.
Here's an update on my recovery status....
Bad news:
I shot up last night
Good news: I gave all my remaining dope to my good friend so that I could not get a hold on it.
Bad news: I'm most likely gunna get a hold of it again soon.

I've actually never been in trouble by the law(yet) because of my H use. I really don't want to, but I know the road I'm on will only lead me there.

I was nick named Girl Interrupted too, but by medical staffs because I would always try to escape from the facilities that I was at & I was kind of the "want to be" revolution starter. I've never seen that movie though.

More info about me(if you care) I'm sort of living a double life. If you see me in life 99.9% of people would NOT think that I use. I'm a good student and child. I just live with a terrible secret. Maybe some of you out there can relate?
 
I was living a double life as well up untill i got busted by 5-0.
They kicked in my door at my house and i got arrested for Possesion of a deadly weapon n had to serve 5 months in jail good time
Not saying this will happen to you, just saying consider yourself lucky to not caught up.
But somthing WILL happen eventually.. is it worth it?
Us addicts have a tendancy of thinking in the present, we want to feel good NOW.
But what about tomorrow, 5 months from now , 2 years?
Not trying to preach to you, just hope you make good decisions.
Stay safe
 
GirlInterrupted said:
Thank you for everyone's support!
Well I am 17. Experimented with drugs since I was 14 I think.. And specifically heroin when I was 16.
Here's an update on my recovery status....
Bad news:
I shot up last night
Good news: I gave all my remaining dope to my good friend so that I could not get a hold on it.
Bad news: I'm most likely gunna get a hold of it again soon.

I've actually never been in trouble by the law(yet) because of my H use. I really don't want to, but I know the road I'm on will only lead me there.

I was nick named Girl Interrupted too, but by medical staffs because I would always try to escape from the facilities that I was at & I was kind of the "want to be" revolution starter. I've never seen that movie though.

More info about me(if you care) I'm sort of living a double life. If you see me in life 99.9% of people would NOT think that I use. I'm a good student and child. I just live with a terrible secret. Maybe some of you out there can relate?
Click to expand...

Dude I can relate. I'm 17, been experimenting with everything since 13, started doing dope at 15 for a year, got arrested, sent to rehab, put on suboxone, and now I'm in another country because my parents don't think I'm ready to go to college. I've only been clean from dope as long as I've been out of the States.

I did have ten months clean before I relapsed, so that's something. Have hope.
 
iris acht said:
Dude I can relate. I'm 17, been experimenting with everything since 13, started doing dope at 15 for a year, got arrested, sent to rehab, put on suboxone, and now I'm in another country because my parents don't think I'm ready to go to college. I've only been clean from dope as long as I've been out of the States.

I did have ten months clean before I relapsed, so that's something. Have hope.
Click to expand...

I'm really happy for you. It takes a lot to be clean. How is suboxone treating you? I'm sort of scared that I might get hooked on that and that it would be harder to get off.
 
wtf that was a tight ass poem! some poems you read are just fucking dumb but this one rhymes perfectly and everything! you can sing it out
 
well..

I would only recommend using Suboxone if you are having bad withdraw symptoms.. But yes i do rely on it now.. but since my last post i have cut my dose in half. Im having trouble with the depression still tho.

ttyl.
 
I can hardly relate, but nevertheless your story hit me. I thought I went through some shit when I was 17, but it can't compare. Really puts things in perspective.

My heart goes out to you
Here's hoping you can stay clean
 
I really appreciate those who posted on my thread and those who took time to read my post!
Thank you guys for your support & I wish the very best for all of you out there. Stay strong everyone.

Here's an update:
Staying sober was incredibly difficult. I couldn't stop vomiting and having chills, I was in complete pain. Every single joint in my body ached. I kept clean for about a day. :[ Yeah I know pathetic. I unintentionally overdosed when I dosed again. I felt like crap. I feel like crap all the time now, high or not.

I slowly am starting to realize how much dope has ruined my little happy normal life. I'm too sick to go to school, I used to love school. I used to love playing sports but i'm too weak to play. I have to sit out on the 1st game of my senior year. Things like this I can never have back. I lost my parents trust. I lost my friends trust. All of my friends have givin up on me. My 2 of my very best friend came up to me with tears in their eyes telling me that they just don't know what to do anymore because no matter what they say I still go back to my old ways.

Yesterday, I was involved in a car accident that totaled my car. Both my friend and I was high off dope. He nodded out and we ran into a damn tree going a high speed. My whole face is jacked up and my body hurts. I've escaped death too many times, but this time I am so thankful to be alive. I don't want to live like this anymore. I just don't. I want to be clean and sober soo badly. I regret asking for my 1st dose. I regret everything. I feel like complete dirt. The only time I am not depressed is when I'm asleep. I admit I'm a total and complete wreck right now. Physically and mentally.

For all of you viewing this right now this is what I want to tell all of you guys:

Be thankful that you breathing right now and reading this. Life is so beautiful, if you don't see that then take your lazy bum out of the house and go explore the world. You don't have to be high. Be strong. You don't need heroin or any other drugs. When you are messing with drugs you are only burying yourself a sad hole. You build yourself up this SAD PATHETIC plot about how your life is so horrible so that your drug usage is acceptable. But it's NOT. I admit I did the same. But please learn from me, don't make the same mistake.
If any of you guys ever need to talk to someone you can message me. I will try my best to listen to you and help you!
<3
Sorry if this was ridiculously long. I just feel like this is one of the few places I can let it out.
 
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