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Mental Health Anxiety Disorders MEGA thread

The source of my drug use, The reason for doing every drug I've ever done, Is an attempt to rid my Anxiety
I never did it for euphoria, ever (I don't count taking 40mg adderall XR to promote talkativeness as euphoria)

Lowest effective dose of Klonopin (From the start, no prior tolerance)
for me, is 2mg, lasts around 8 hours

Preferred dosage is 3-10mg... (Median and Mode dose would be 3-4 though)
Taking 20mg on an airplane didn't even help me talk to a girl, though, I have to force myself to talk

It seems to me that my Anxiety is Generalized... but primarily social...

Something odd to me, if I take 20-40mg adderall IR (I'm prescribed 30mg daily) I feel stimulated of course, talkative, less pronounced Anxiety... but still too pronounced

If I take 10-20mg Klonopin, I'm not talkative at all even though I have no worries...

Yet 2-4mg Klonopin and 20-40mg Adderall IR and I basically become the perfect image of myself (Methylphenidate kind-of worked in place of Adderall... but my heart just pounds too hard, the comedown is horrible, and I DO NOT SHUT UP)

I'm not sure what my point is... except me just wanting to talk... I've never told anyone this even though I've known it forever
 
^ What are you prescribed the adderall for, if I can ask?

I'd be interested to know what people here think are the best meds for anxiety and panic apart from benzos or opiates. I'm on lexapro 25mg and in the middle of coming off avanza 60mg to replace it with bupropion/wellbutrin/zyban. I have benzos but I don't want to take them as I've been addicted previously and I hate what benzos do to my head - like, they help the anxiety, but fuck my memory, my mood and my ability to think reasonably or maturely.
 
I had to leave work and go on short term disability because of my anxiety/panic attacks. Whenever I would think about going to work I would vomit. I had to keep plastic bags in my car just incase I couldn't pull over in time on my way to work to get sick. Once I was at work, if something went wrong or someone used the wrong tone with me I would just start sweating and get sick to my stomach. I would also get the racing heart and the "cant catch my breath" feeling. Xanax never worked because I was always throwing up.

I went through 3 weeks of intensive outpatient therapy and now on a maint. group therapy meeting once a month. What has worked for me is a supplement of Magnesium, which also helps me sleep. Anxiety is a part of life and will never go away. If you experienced absolutely no anxiety, you would be killed. This is a great resources that one of my therapist gave to us in group. http://www.algy.com/anxiety/files/barlow.html

As well as this awesome book that I just started reading. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Radical20Acceptance.jpg


For me the hardest thing to do is stop what is called the "mind chatter" especially when I am trying to meditate. Radical Acceptance is teaching me what to do with that mind chatter and is very helpful.

Also, keep in mind that benzo's are not the only treatment for anxiety/panic attacks. In fact they are a crutch that keeps you from dealing with the deeper issues. I waited 20 years until I finally got help. Most of you are still young. Get the help now so you don't have to suffer through most of your life.
 
suessmayr said:
^ What are you prescribed the adderall for, if I can ask?

I'd be interested to know what people here think are the best meds for anxiety and panic apart from benzos or opiates. I'm on lexapro 25mg and in the middle of coming off avanza 60mg to replace it with bupropion/wellbutrin/zyban. I have benzos but I don't want to take them as I've been addicted previously and I hate what benzos do to my head - like, they help the anxiety, but fuck my memory, my mood and my ability to think reasonably or maturely.
Click to expand...

ADHD Predominantly Inattentive, on another note: It really pisses me off that if I even talk about a single symptom... suddenly every single person that heard me say I can't pay attention is like "oh, I must have it too" and I have to say "DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE IN SEVERITY BETWEEN THE AVERAGE PERSON AND ADHD"

I admit it is too overlydiagnosed...
 
Addyman - I didn't read any of these comments you referred to. Hopefully I didn't write any. But I don't think you should be totally dismissive of other people who claim to suffer from inability to concentrate. I'm severely depressed and have numerous panic attacks daily - one effect of this is that I have virtually zero concentration. I can't do anything sustainedly, even if it's something I ought to enjoy, because I am either thinking too deeply about every aspect of it, or about my life, or about how much I hate myself, or just thinking I should stop doing it and go and kill myself. Loss of concentration is a symptom that attends many disorders and I don't think it's right to criticise anyone who complains of it unless they have ADHD, in the same way that it would be wrong of someone to criticise another person complaining of depression on the basis that that person doesn't have major depressive disorder.

Tink - I read about 4 books on anxiety some months ago. I was really proactive then about helping myself, probably because I was less depressed. Now I'm so badly depressed and lethargic and apathetic and just generally confused that I have stopped bothering with deep-breathing, meditation, and all the rest of it. Now I just make a note of how much I hate myself and wish were dead. It's pathetic, I know. But I think I need some good medicines that are not benzos to help get me on my way.
 
suessmayr said:
Addyman - I didn't read any of these comments you referred to. Hopefully I didn't write any. But I don't think you should be totally dismissive of other people who claim to suffer from inability to concentrate. I'm severely depressed and have numerous panic attacks daily - one effect of this is that I have virtually zero concentration. I can't do anything sustainedly, even if it's something I ought to enjoy, because I am either thinking too deeply about every aspect of it, or about my life, or about how much I hate myself, or just thinking I should stop doing it and go and kill myself. Loss of concentration is a symptom that attends many disorders and I don't think it's right to criticise anyone who complains of it unless they have ADHD, in the same way that it would be wrong of someone to criticise another person complaining of depression on the basis that that person doesn't have major depressive disorder.

Tink - I read about 4 books on anxiety some months ago. I was really proactive then about helping myself, probably because I was less depressed. Now I'm so badly depressed and lethargic and apathetic and just generally confused that I have stopped bothering with deep-breathing, meditation, and all the rest of it. Now I just make a note of how much I hate myself and wish were dead. It's pathetic, I know. But I think I need some good medicines that are not benzos to help get me on my way.
Click to expand...

I just find it astounding almost 100% (I'm not exaggerating) of people I say that to diagnose themselves, is all... they seem to think it's cool or something to say they have it... and at the same time admit they've never been diagnosed

I can usually tell who has it and who doesn't (takes one to know one?)

I would believe the occasional person... but not every single one... I do admit, though, it is kind of my fault for hanging out with histrionic-like people

Anxiety/Depression is something I don't doubt in other people... No one would be falsely proud of that (I know I'm not proud of an Anxiety Disorder, how is it "cool" to have a panic attack weekly)
 
For that matter, how is it cool to suffer from an inability to concentrate?

Still, I know what you mean. I get a bit resentful when people, who clearly have never suffered from genuine depression, talk about how they 'get depressed all the time'. Because it's just not the same thing, is it? Being a bit down and listening to sad songs is just not comparable to being unable to eat, shower or take a shit.

But this is a forum dedicated to these sorts of issues. So, I would suggest, most people claiming to suffer from something are probably being honest! Or if not, they're just trying to help rather than trying to big themselves up.
 
If you're judging whether or not other people have ADHD then that is just as arbitrary as their own judgment.

A DSM diagnosis is just a label determined by a panel of people over half of which have financial ties to the pharmaceutical industry (based on a study). They determine a particular list of symptoms and if somebody matches it then they have the diagnosis.

The next version that comes out, criteria might change. An official diagnosis is as arbitrary as anything else.
 
suessmayr said:
For that matter, how is it cool to suffer from an inability to concentrate?

Still, I know what you mean. I get a bit resentful when people, who clearly have never suffered from genuine depression, talk about how they 'get depressed all the time'. Because it's just not the same thing, is it? Being a bit down and listening to sad songs is just not comparable to being unable to eat, shower or take a shit.

But this is a forum dedicated to these sorts of issues. So, I would suggest, most people claiming to suffer from something are probably being honest! Or if not, they're just trying to help rather than trying to big themselves up.
Click to expand...

I might mention me and my friends are still in our teens (late teens)

Immaturity and histrionic tendencies...
 
them, and us

I can't exactly reckon if conversation about my brand of anxiety is appropriate for this thread, as combat-related anxiety is uncommon around here.
But its gotten pretty debilitating for me recently. A large part of the reason is that I have physically slowed down for the first time in YEARS, and after being on the road & having no home since Nov 08.... which also happened to be when my Army career AND marriage ended.

The thing is..... my mind hasn't slowed down, while my old habits/skills linger.
Even more triggering is that without basic goals to work for or focus on (safety, food, shelter, heat, transportation).... the way I operate is simply incompatible with "normal" or civilian life.
Significantly, it makes even complex tasks a real mindbending bitch.....

My anxiety exists because i still operate & perceive on a level that's like I'm still *there*; and it takes a huge amount of effort to drag myself back..... if I even want to.

It took me a while to figure out why the actual job of war-fighting was a surprisingly easy & natural thing for me. Not only was I raised in military family to start, but I've always been hyper-sensitive and keen with visual cues (thank you ADD 8) ); joining the military just redirected it, gave it a purpose, and then sent me to a place & situation where it's a pretty useful skill. I had little trouble with actually being in places where sleep was nonexistent, and daily shootin' & killin' & explosiveness was happening all around; but never before had I been so proficient, focused, turned-on, yet detached..... all while everything went to shit around my ears.

The absolute knee-slapper, though?
Hearing "oh, you poor broken PTSD-ridden thing. Here, you need XYZ drugs and intensive counselling to be normal & productive again." at the first mention of taking part in a real shootin-war.

What???
The only time in my life when I felt; that I was doing what I was *destined* to do, and *didn't* need or want drugs, or have some sort of depression/anxiousness; is when I was in a highly stressful, fast-paced, and utterly badass job..... and during the course it just so happened that I often found myself in a sandy shitstorm of death, smoke, oil.... and deafening, erotic, awe-inspiring firepower.

No shit I have problems adjusting.... what gets me is how can competent psychologists can honestly believe that the "therapy" & drugs used to treat civilian stress cases, is even close to being adequate in treating those of us who came home from, but never really left the battlefields.
I've known more veterans who committed suicide AFTER they started "therapy" and psych meds, than ones who snuffed it beforehand. Most of us seem to be, both by nature & irrefutable training, pretty tenacious when it comes to self-preservation.... which makes their suicide even more incongruous....
We keep quiet about our experiences and tend to self-medicate for a reason. And by being one of those, I've learned that a main concern amongst my comrades is rapidly becoming the plague-like avoidance of anything associated with mental-health care.

I've learned a new term amongst the community of homeless, old, & ailing veterans.... and those who've succumbed to the mental-health community's care long term, exhibit it the most; the "thorazine shuffle".
 
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I have been having nightmares nightly for so long now, I can't remember when they first started. The only logical explanation I can think of is that some kind of anxiety must be causing them. They're horrible. I'll realize I'm having a nightmare, and be unable to wake up. But know It's a nightmare, and feel trapped, literally. I don't know what anxiety I have that must be causing them, sure uni is stressful, but nothing I can't deal with. :\

I want them to end. I'm not taking drugs atm, I'm not even drinking, so I know it's not substance related. I feel retarded going to my Doctor about this. :\
 
I have no idea if how I feel would even be considered anxiety but lately I've really had no motivation to be social, or even talk to people other than 3 or 4 people I feel I can have genuinely interesting and riveting conversations. I've always been kind of quiet but was still pretty social and would go out alot (bars, clubs, etc with friends).

To be fair I've been more or less introverted my whole life (though I might not always come off that way if you meet me) combined with the fact that I've been smoking marijuana since I was 13 (pretty much everyday since I was 16 - I'm 21 now) probably has alot to do with it. I've also taken a fair amount of ecstasy over the last 2 years, which in the past 6 months I started to like a little too much. I was rolling a couple times a week for no reason what so ever (just hanging out with friends, etc). I've cut down my ecstasy use dramatically since the last time I took shrooms (I didn't hippy flip but alot of the trip centered around ecstasy - thats a whole different story though).

Since that took place I haven't really felt the same and I've found myself avoiding social settings, parties, etc; dodging people's calls; having difficulty holding conversation with most people...

I understand this isn't as serious as alot of people's problems on here I just wanted a place to express this
 
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Any anxiety is bad, it's a tough thing to live with, no matter how serious. I feel the same way a lot, I often separate myself, and things take control of themselves from there, whether it be for the better or worse.
 
occhku-my case is very similar to yours..always been introverted but these past few years ive been growing more anti-social...i dont go to social outings often unless i have to, dont really care to meet new people, i dodge phonecalls unless i know its important..its like i cant be bothered by small talk anymore, even at work i grow annoyingly bored with it..there is a degree of anxiety that i have but i have gotten rid of alot of it but i still remain very anti-social...is this just introversion and depression or something else, i notice that even when in a good mood i dont feel like doing much..i really dunno, i do seem internally restless alot of the time though, not anxious really but just restless...

benzos and phenibut kill my anxiety and completely chill me out but they also kill my creativity and 'inner spark' if that makes sense..they hurt my memory as well...i dont think there is a med out there that would help me function like i want to..the cloest thing to perfect is GHB but its short duration hurts it..
 
^ I can really relate to this. Only, I used to be the most intense extrovert. But the past few years, with all the depression and anxiety, and then the opiates, I totally withdrew. Now I'm about 90 days clean and still totally isolated and introspective. As soon as I put one foot outside the front door my anxiety just skyrockets.

I feel the same about benzos too. They make me nice and chill - and, because I'm naturally anxious, actually euphoric - but they fuck my memory, creativity, energy and mood. It's like, the medicines that help my depression worsen my anxiety, and the medicines that help my anxiety worsen my depression.
 
my anxiety has been soooo bad these last 2 weeks. I don't even know why. Even just by myself in my room I am getting anxiety-doing nothing. It kind of scares me. I'm going to leave my job I've only had for 1 month it's that bad. So back to Dad asking me what I've done all day which will be fuck all. I need to heal first though and see the doctor and get my meds right.
 
law12345, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of spotting when things are bad and taking the necessary steps to help yourself. It can be really hard making that initial step, so kudos :)

I've not spoken to you before, so sorry if you've covered this, but can you speak to your dad about what's going on? If not, do you have a friend or family member who you can speak to?

Have you tried CBT or other talking therapies as well as medication?

Please don't beat yourself up over having to leave your job - I appreciate how much that sucks, really I do, but clinical anxiety is an illness and it is completely fine to have to take some time out to get better <3 would they consider letting you be off sick for a while? I don't know how it works elsewhere, but here if you got a doctor's note they'd have to let you take a bit of time out..
 
My pulse was always high when they checked my vitals in the psych ward :D

Sustaining a 120+ over 15 minutes still didn't get me a single benzo or anxiolytic
Even getting my pulse checked at 100+ the next day didn't help me at all

I just gave up on trying to get treated properly at a Psychiatric ward during a 72 hour hold
 
I am pretty sure I have anxiety issues, Ive been diagnosed with it, but its so hard to try to tell people and they dont get it and act like its just fake. I cant stop the thinking in my head and its all the time, my mind just spins and spins, and the panic attacks and waking up in the morning just feeling nauseous with dread from absolutely nothing is driving me crazy : /
 
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