Today, I finally got fed up. I went and bought a ball of meth and while I was there she offered me a line of cocaine, and of course I said yes. It was such a big line it took me two tries to snort it all. She said it was fire coke. My throat got really numb and of course, I felt nothing at ALL.
When I got home, I loaded my pipe to test out my meth.... why? I cant feel the shit anyways.
I ended up laying down on the couch and taking a three hour nap directly after.
I'm so sick of not being able to get high anymore. Today I started the tapering of my Abilify. I will stay on my Effexor.
Do any of you know if Effexor blocks the high, too?
I think I will be okay if I remain on one.
My mental health is important so I am going to proceed with caution in this taper and see how I feel. I guess I rather be numb and sober than depressed and crazy impulsive. So dont judge me. I will make the best decision in the long run when it's time. I'm just doing some experimenting.
My husband thinks my BPD tendencies will come back if I stop taking my Abilify. Can that little blue pill really control my actions that much?
I've been very good for the two years I've been on it. No bad impulsive behavior, lying, or cheating. But I thought I changed because something inside of me wanted to change. Not because of the Abilify.
What do you guys think about all this? Go easy.
When I got home, I loaded my pipe to test out my meth.... why? I cant feel the shit anyways.
I ended up laying down on the couch and taking a three hour nap directly after.
I'm so sick of not being able to get high anymore. Today I started the tapering of my Abilify. I will stay on my Effexor.
Do any of you know if Effexor blocks the high, too?
I think I will be okay if I remain on one.
My mental health is important so I am going to proceed with caution in this taper and see how I feel. I guess I rather be numb and sober than depressed and crazy impulsive. So dont judge me. I will make the best decision in the long run when it's time. I'm just doing some experimenting.
My husband thinks my BPD tendencies will come back if I stop taking my Abilify. Can that little blue pill really control my actions that much?
I've been very good for the two years I've been on it. No bad impulsive behavior, lying, or cheating. But I thought I changed because something inside of me wanted to change. Not because of the Abilify.
What do you guys think about all this? Go easy.