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...and on a serious note

A few people close to me have had abortions and personally i think they should never be labelled with terms such as "murderer" etc.
I respect their decisions and had no problem supporting them through it. To me it all comes down to situation, I mean even if your pregnancy is brought on due to lack of contraception the reality is if the unborn child is instantly seen as a "mistake" or it is quite obvious that it is not a good environment or situation to bring a child into the world then possibly then abortion is the best option. I don't think it is right to bring a child into the world if you believe you can not offer them the best life possible. I also think that women that know in their hearts they do wish to have an abortion should be pressured into keeping the child, everyone knows in their hearts what they should or shouldn't do, it is wrong to bring someone into the world if you do not want them. On the other hand if a women wants to keep her child then she shouldn't be pressured into having an abortion either.
I drove both of the above to the abortion clinics and looked after them afterwards, both have chosen to keep it a secret and I respect their decision to do this also. The people at these clinics council you before you go in to make sure you are doing the right decision and you are free to change you mind and leave. It is a pity soo many people in this society can instantly label people by their decisions especially when they have not been in the same situation before.
just my 2cents
tg
 
Although I'm pro-choice I would like to raise something a little deeper than the topic goes. Does the father have any choice?
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Huh,...What,...Who,....Dude I can't here a fucken word your saying.
 
As much as I hate to say it, and am gonna get flamed to hell for it, I dun think the father should EVER have the right to force a woman to complete a pregnancy to term if she doesn't want to....and it's not just the "it's the woman's body and she should choose what she wants to do with it" argument - I think it goes deeper than that............I mean, if a woman really doesn't want to go through with a pregnancy, chances are she is gonna be carrying around a lotta negative emotions through the 9 months if she's forced to go through with it....all that emotional stress and hormonal stuff is quite likely to impact on the baby in some way - it's been proven that maternal stress can affect a foetus in numerous ways.............also, there's probably a good chance that the mother won't take great physical care of herself if she's carrying a baby that she doesn't want to be carrying - which again will result in negative effects on the foetus....such effects can have a lasting impact throughout life.......and I wouldn't have much respect for a father who'd deliberately run the risk of harming his child by forcing the mother to carry the baby to term if she really didn't want to....
(also, what's to say the mother wouldn't try to induce a miscarriage herself if she was somehow legally prevented from having an abortion by the father?? and i dun think women should ever be forced into inflicting sumthin so terrible upon themselves)
And, my own personal opinion is that men and women were created differently and are able to do certain things that the other sex can't do.......one of those things for women is having children....biologically, women are the child-bearers...therefore I think the ultimate decision as to whether or not to bear children should rest with them.....that may not seem "fair"...but it's just basic human biology, and there ain't a hell of a lot that can be done about that!!!
*shuts up now*
 
hmm.. i'm gonna put myself on the line here.. i terminated a pregnancy after i slipped up w/ my pill. why did i do it?
at the time, i was a month off getting married to a temporary resident w/ no work visa, i had just stacked my car, had no money at all, lived w/ my parents. i was working 45+ hrs a week, plus trying to do uni part-time. my husband (to be) had yet to start uni. we had our whole future ahead of us.
plus i learned from my mom. i was an accident at 19. they had no money, no education. it was way too early and not only did the financial side set them back literally a lifetime, but emotionally my mom was not ready for the enormous responsibility of parenthood (and we lived w/ the consequences)
and neither am i. @ngel you might think "its not the end of the world to have a child" but remember.. a child is 24hrs a day, 7 days a week for YEARS. they are very expensive. they are a fulltime commitment. some ppl (like me) have trouble taking care of even minor commitments like paying the bills on time (i forget..) frankly a child is more than i could take..
parenting is something i take very seriously. you have in your hands the power to shape a person's whole life. the lessons you give, the example you set in how you live your life, the job you do.. it affects another human being completely you can accidentally cause problems that they may never get over.. i'm not ready for that yet!
and i'm extremely emotional (bipolar infact!) and i try my best to be a compassionate and moral person. i dont go round doing things thoughtlessly. but i honestly think i did the right thing, if i went back, i'd do it again. i dont think i was wrong, and to be honest i didnt feel that bad about it at the time - just relieved it was all over. i dont think i'm a bad person for that, either.
i was 5 weeks pregnant. you could barely see it on the ultrasound. once taken from my body, it could not have survived to become a person, not with all the help of medical science. to me thats not a baby. its a blob of only slightly differentiated cells. i dont feel like i "killed a child" b/c it had not become a child, it was a long way off.
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as for the question of fathers having a say, i'll prolly get judged harshly for this but i agree w/ BMW.
if the couple are together, then the woman will cop *at least* 50% of the childcare, and will have to live w/ a child - which if she doesnt want a child would be basically hellish, and its wrong to ask a woman to go thru that.
if the couple are separated, even if the father promised to look after the child 100% i still disagree w/ it.
1. cuz pregnancy is horrible for many women plus it causes all kinds of physical and emotional changes. no woman should have to endure 9 months of discomfort & life changes for something she doesnt want.
2. what if the man changes his mind and dumps the kid? where will it wind up? likely w/ the mother. even unwilling mothers have a maternal instinct (like my mom) they still *care* and i would think most women having given birth to a child would care about its future and care. and if the father changes his mind & doesnt want it, a lot of women will take on the responsibility they never wanted.
3. if they're not together anymore anyways, the man can always look for a partner who wants children and have a child that way.
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sorry this is really long! but its something i feel very strongly about. parenting is taken WAY too lightly.. one day asym and i want children - we look forward to it. but not until we're emotionally ready to do a good job of it
=)
 
i really hate that fucking attitude of
"oh well i'm just not like that, i could never murder my child . . ."
oh well so for those people who've never been in a situation where they have no finances, no support system, nothing to offer a child . . . try to imagine what the life is going to be like for that child, and then say that you would rather bring the child in to that life than put it out of it's misery before it has a chance to experience what will never be a decent life . .
if u have the means to support a childs needs then good for you, but many don't, and thats why they are forced to go through with an abortion, not because they are taking the easy way out but because the child would be better of not born. now many people cry out 'oh well i can give it all the love in the world and thats all that matters' well its not. although its superficial, money is just as important as the amount of love and care you give the child. without money your life and the things you can do with it are limited, i'm not talking mass luxuries here, but basic nice stuff that makes life comfortable, living on the basics mite sound alright because you have ur baby and you will love it but it's not fair on the baby. too many people these days are having children they can't look after, financially, emotionally.
abortion is not murder, its a horrible process though, and its done usually with the best interests of the child at hand, instead of condeming women who make the decision to terminate their pregnancy for whatever reason, they should be supported. there are obviously serious reasons behind their decision to do this, and the amount of pain they suffer through this process is only heightened when insensitive people pull that fucking guilt trip routine.
in fact i think more women should be having abortions, such as some of the crackwhores who live in state housing near me and let their 12 children run on the road with no shoes while they're high on the money the government generously pays to support their mistakes. in certain cases it is worse that the child lives a terrible life than dies before it is even a baby. obviously prevention is the key, but mistakes happen and respect should be given to those who do eventually make the decision that is in the best interests of everyone.
 
as much as i value everyone's opinons on this topic, it is important to realise that it is hard to take a side without actually being in that situation.
being in the position to be brining a child into this world is not a situation that you can really "hypothisize" about....
 
BMW, i'm not saying that men should force women to have a child they don't want. But, i do think a father has the right to know that the woman is pregnant and wants to abort. As i explained in my first post... this is what happened to me and left me deeply hurt. When i was younger, i got a girl pregnant which she decided she wouldn't tell me about. She ran off had an abortion and the whole time i was none the wiser, I was only a couple years later that she told me and i felt really hurt and violated. I would never have forced her to keep the child but i think i would have handled it better if i knew i was part of the decision making process and helped rationalise the decision.
Unfortunately there is a great social myth that men are sperm ridden, sex mad, animals who are just interested in the sex and have no regard for the concequences. All too often ppl seem to think that its fine to keep us in the dark because we don't really care or don't want any liablility. Whilst i admit that it was an unplanned pregnancy and at the time all i was interested in was the sex, abortion is a hard thing for us to deal with too. It may be the woman's egg, but its also the man's sperm.
 
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