Ambivalent

[Prolapstriumph]

We once were
quite unhappy with
our laxity and squandering
with morning dew
ambrosia bloomed
outside our desert wandering.
Eliminate
the plight that whisked
the gods to war a' thundering
past these dunes
the titans loom
eternal as their underlings.

Days go by and
life still offers
every drop of nectar
but one must run
her race to grace
her every willing sector.
Sand-rough hearts
of spite grew soft
the razor stropped
her vector
to penetrate
past innocence
you raze your crops 'n
forget her.

The sky's been drizzling
bitter rains
my habitat divides it
combining cosmic
dust this spinning
husk sustained collides with.
Old stars a' fizzling
laugh in vain
this planet has its tides met
an oceanic
seismic lust shrugs
off their feigned alignment.

 

[(Wordy)]

Wow, I'm impressed!

From a technical point of view, I love your rhymes and phrasing, all so measured... and the fact that there's a unity of theme and style.

But mostly I love what you say, the mystical quality of it, and the fact that it sounds so beautiful.

 

[Prolapstriumph]

Thanks a bundle! I think this one sounds much better spoken aloud...

 

[Helios.]

smells oceans burning and rocks melting

 

[up all night]

I think this one sounds much better spoken aloud...

It definitely sounds great out loud - awesome work! If you've posted other stuff I'm going to go check it out, and if not, please do!