• ✍️ WORDS ✍️

    Welcome Guest!

  • Words Moderators: Shambles

amateur's difficulty

loafer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 4, 2002
Messages
46
Location
CA
Someone walks up to you, smacks you in the face,
and tells you 'sorry' -
but all in one motion.

'A brainstorm' they call it, but it's only a drizzle.
They say you can make it if you just try a little.
Wind moves clouds,
not you.
Dragonfly wings - they're brittle.
But they sure do move with the slightest rustle;
just a little vibration.

But what does that mean to me?

Someone serves up an unwritten story that everyone reads;
an awkward rhyme scheme
and missing steps.

'Waiting', they say, 'We're waiting'.

Write a book - impress family and friends.
whatever this (is) - it doesn’t end.
There are places to go,
people to see.
You didn't intend, didn't know what you meant.

There are places you've been,
people you’ve seen.
Rotting landscapes and tattered maps -
in pieces, many pieces.
Ants and Termites -
all in the woodwork of crumbling homes.

Dust in the eyes is a problem for me.

If you've seen the structure, you need some closure, and some way to distend -
you'll awkward uneasily.

Just follow these instructions and repeat after me.



This might look organized but that's on paper - there's no flow written in (which is obvious on reading). In fact, i don't even know how to write-in flow, except w/ simple rhyming (which are usually awkward). If anyone has any links to sites with rhyme schemes, scales, or any tips on using grammar to express cadence, i'm your guest.
 
loafer said:
'A brainstorm' they call it, but it's only a drizzle.

i just picked this part out because i'm obsessed with cool little things like that. i love the whole piece - disjointed words which fit together perfectly.

if i were you, i wouldn't worry about trying to get some sense of rythym to your writing, this is awesome as it is, imo.
 
Top