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Heroin Am I skin popping or IM my black tar?

yeah shit does happen sometimes that's for sure. I too miss the clean consistency of pharmaceutical opiates which is what got me to the clinic in the 1st place. It's crazy how much we will sacrafice sometimes for such a shitty high, 10 minute rush and slight nod if any, there goes 50 bucks and the health risks too, it's nuts. I want to stick to my MMT so bad but sometimes I am just so dam weak and lacking will power I suppose.

I know, it's one of the hardest things you'll ever do. And for me, it's cause you're fighting yourself. Part of me didn't want to get better, I wanted to be sick. Because I wanted to hurt myself I think, and also because if I was sober I'd have to face all my issues. Methadone is a step in the right direction. But I know once you develop some tolerance and it just makes you "okay" instead of making you high it's hard to be satisfied. What helped me was focusing on my health... I forced myself to clean my house and go on walks/runs every day. I took vitamins as well as omega 3s, 5htp, and St. John's Wort. And spent a lot of time researching supplements to take that would help with endorphins and healthy brain function. I just wanted a lot of time educating myself.. I wanted to take back some control over my life. You'd be surprised how much health can make a difference.. And focusing on it since it's something positive instead of focusing on your DOC. You don't have to make a drastic change and quit overnight, just focus on small changes and go from there.
 
I haven't had any amazing experiences with H either. ANd yeah this guy isn't a good friend or anything, just somebody I know from the clinic. when you said you are forced to realize how filthy it is when smoking I assume that's because it tastes like shit?? I really did the H out of desperation so I could go to work and not be sick but I need to just cut it out now! I have too many responsibilities to go down this road but I'm getting off topic and more "dark sided" so I digress.

Yeah, the taste is indescribable. The closest thing would be some mix between soy sauce and vinegar. But worse, much worse. And the taste gets stuck in your throat, I always have a vitamin water handy to wash it down after each hit. You get used to it, but it's a good reminder of what you're really smoking. And imagine how much worse it is to to put in your blood. At least a lot of the additives get left on the foil. Yeah, a little off topic. But hey, it's for the sake of harm reduction. You can PM me anytime as well.
 
I'm so glad to hear you're going to do the right thing here. We are here to help you minimize the harm of your drug use, it's such a great feeling to see someone actually take the HR advice given.

How much methadone are you currently taking, and how long have you been on it? Did you ever try buprenorphine?
 
Hey man, so glad to see someone listening to and taking the good advice offered. As drug users and abusers we have all done our fair share of stuff we shouldn't have done. We all know how that is and the HR of BL and OD in particular is what brought me from being a long time lurker into deciding to contribute to posts. It's a vital service and when it works, like in this thread, the value is obvious. Take care of that little girl and take care of yourself for her. That's the important thing in all of this. I got clean for my kids, man, and it's the best thing I've ever done. Good luck!
 
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