Related Reading: http://abouthomosexuality.com/
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Am I Gay?
- Thread starter Tromps
- Start date
burntserkits
Bluelighter
^very much agree. That is a great way to put it in perspective. Humans MUST eat to survive but they don't HAVE TO eat meat to do so...
That doesn't mean anything. I lost my virginity at 21 to a guy, who I was no doubt NOT in love with at the time. It was also because HE really really wanted to sleep with me. We had dated for a few years earlier (in high school). However, my most recent relationship was with a woman and it was the best relationship I've ever been in - I've never loved anyone the way I loved (and am in love with) her. I believe I can fall in love with either gender. I DO tend to have stronger connections (on all levels) with women, but could see myself with a man. It's fine not to know - just go with the flow 
Just give yourself time to figure out who you are, what you want, how other people make you feel - what feels right/good. For some people it takes a long time to figure out who you are (regarding sexual orientation).
I really like the Kinsey Scale, and think you should take a look at it. http://www.iub.edu/~kinsey/resources/ak-hhscale.html
Just give yourself time to figure out who you are, what you want, how other people make you feel - what feels right/good. For some people it takes a long time to figure out who you are (regarding sexual orientation).
I really like the Kinsey Scale, and think you should take a look at it. http://www.iub.edu/~kinsey/resources/ak-hhscale.html
ech0s85
Bluelighter
dude jerry atrick youre fucking crazy!
Im assuming youre straight, so do you personally feel that you choose to be attracted to women?? Could you choose not to be attracted to a super hot chick? Could you yourself choose to be attracted to a man?
I dont get your line of thought whatsoever.
Im a straight guy, and attraction is 100% not a choice. I dont choose to like women, i just do. And i couldnt choose to stop. Im also not attracted to men at all, and im pretty sure no matter how hard i tried i couldnt make it happen.
Could you please elaborate for me? Generally i hear this kind of stuff out of people that id classify as borderline retarded, but you seem to be pretty intelligent which just makes me curious.
To the OP: I dont know if youre gay, but youre for sure not totally straight if you wrecked a dudes ass for 4 hours while going through every position in the man on man kama sutra. But, who cares? Do your thing man. just be real with yourself and dont worry about it.
Im assuming youre straight, so do you personally feel that you choose to be attracted to women?? Could you choose not to be attracted to a super hot chick? Could you yourself choose to be attracted to a man?
I dont get your line of thought whatsoever.
Im a straight guy, and attraction is 100% not a choice. I dont choose to like women, i just do. And i couldnt choose to stop. Im also not attracted to men at all, and im pretty sure no matter how hard i tried i couldnt make it happen.
Could you please elaborate for me? Generally i hear this kind of stuff out of people that id classify as borderline retarded, but you seem to be pretty intelligent which just makes me curious.
To the OP: I dont know if youre gay, but youre for sure not totally straight if you wrecked a dudes ass for 4 hours while going through every position in the man on man kama sutra. But, who cares? Do your thing man. just be real with yourself and dont worry about it.
c3rta1nv0rz
Bluelighter
this ^
Related reading on the concept of choice.
I think some people have yet to realize that the presumptions they ingest are culturally dependent.
Even a self-professed atheist can be affected by what is essentially a cultural presumption that has been rationalized on religious grounds.
Make no mistake. No one is above being affected by the culture of their birth, whether that culture is of the American Deep South, the intellectual North East, or the rural Mid West.
At the more extreme ends of the cultural spectrum I would include the dominantly Catholic Christian cultures of the Philipines and the devoutely Islamic cultures of the United Arab Emirates.
...
I think some people have yet to realize that the presumptions they ingest are culturally dependent.
Even a self-professed atheist can be affected by what is essentially a cultural presumption that has been rationalized on religious grounds.
Make no mistake. No one is above being affected by the culture of their birth, whether that culture is of the American Deep South, the intellectual North East, or the rural Mid West.
At the more extreme ends of the cultural spectrum I would include the dominantly Catholic Christian cultures of the Philipines and the devoutely Islamic cultures of the United Arab Emirates.
...
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I agree.
Well there is no convincing everybody.
If I was not born gay... I would perhaps find some sort of way to rationalize that we choose our sexuality, since the gays are so....abnormal.
...even though I know it in myself that in no point in my childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood I went though any kind of decision process.
If I was not born gay... I would perhaps find some sort of way to rationalize that we choose our sexuality, since the gays are so....abnormal.
...even though I know it in myself that in no point in my childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood I went though any kind of decision process.
Draigan
Ex-Bluelighter
Jery Atric you are so wrong man. Homosexuality isnt a choice. OMFG lolz. Its a choice to act on it, but its not a choice to feel a certain way. Its like if I smack you in the face and you cry, your going to say you have a choice to feel sad?
Its like saying do you have a choice to be straight? No ofcourse not. You see boobies and you get a boner. so funny
Its like saying do you have a choice to be straight? No ofcourse not. You see boobies and you get a boner. so funny
and the animals, for which their is documented evidence, that engage in homosexual behavior, choose to select a same-sex mate? is that what those of you who believe homosexuality is a choice are suggesting?
sexual orientation is it determined biologically; it is not a conscious decision.
sexual orientation is it determined biologically; it is not a conscious decision.
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Z Y G G Y
Bluelighter
Agreed. I hate when people do this. Homosexuality is not like alcoholism or drug addiction or being a child molester. It's not a disease. It's just the way someone is. Homosexual chooses to like the same sex just like heterosexuals choose to like the opposite sex. I am heterosexual and I do not choose to like men, I just do. That's how I see homosexuality, they are attracted to their respective sex in the same way that I am attracted to men. We are long past the notion that its a disease that can be cured. It is definitely not a choice, it's just how someone is born and we should let them be and accept that and stop comparing them to drug addicts/alcoholics/murderers/child molesters.
Also one thing that is really irritating to me is when people prove that they are ok with something by saying they are friends with that particular group. Like "I'm not racist cuz I have black friends" or "I'm not a homophobe cuz I have gay friend"...that really doesn't prove anything and certainly judging by some people's views doesn't prove that they are not racist or a homophobe. You can have black friends and be the biggest bigot or homophobe in the world. I need to put this in the peeve thread.
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hyroller
Bluelighter
If you honestly lack the conviction to be sure of your sexuality, you would at the very least be a borderline bisexual.
Captaindammit
Bluelighter
you willingly had sex with another guy for 4+ hours.
You are gay.
You are gay.
Jerry Atrick
Bluelight Crew
There have been valid points made against my argument and though I'm not going to change my mind, I don't expect to change anyone else's mind either. I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone, I was merely expressing my opinion of an often-debated subject.
I am still confused that some folks think that just because I believe it's a choice that I'm somehow a homophobe. I looked up homophobe on dictionary.com and it included "fear of, hate, or contempt for homosexuals or homosexuality." I possess none of those attributes. I am NOT a homophobe; I don't care how other people lead their lives, choice or not.
I am still confused that some folks think that just because I believe it's a choice that I'm somehow a homophobe. I looked up homophobe on dictionary.com and it included "fear of, hate, or contempt for homosexuals or homosexuality." I possess none of those attributes. I am NOT a homophobe; I don't care how other people lead their lives, choice or not.
MgmtBlue
Bluelighter
It's very hard to understand homosexuality if you are straight. I only came out recently, but hell I can remember being attracted to other girls from a very young age. Definitely not a choice and you simply can't compare being gay to being a drug addict, alcoholic, etc.
That said, I don't think you are a homophobe and you certainly have the right to your opinion.
Why the FUCK are you huffing gasoline and cleaning products or fucking axe?! Its so goddamn bad for you and it is a good way to die. Get real drugs man, if you have to use, get real drugs.
Depressicaa
Bluelighter
I'm going to have to agree with this guy. You can't be straight and decide to do that. You are at least bi.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
From your mental state, I assume you were:
desperate for sex
using 'drugs' as a rationale (get real drugs man, do you really wanna huff gasoline?)
curious
Correct me if I'm wrong. Did you like it? Would you do it again? If he came over, or called you would you say "Hell yes I'm down!"
Is it a choice? The sex is, but I wouldn't know about the mental status. There are many who are married.
In our society's attempts to be nice and nonjudgmental (at least on the surface), its quite easy to just accept that it isn't a choice. If you weren't gay and someone gay told you it wasn't a choice, its easier to say "yeah sounds right", rather than "nope, no proof, I'll argue with you."
hyroller
Bluelighter
using 'drugs' as a rationale (get real drugs man, do you really wanna huff gasoline?)
lol, good point. very good point.
IME men who get frisky with other men while on drugs have a definite homosocial aspect to their personalities, which they are too inhibited to act upon otherwise.
9/10 times they are either gay or on the meaty side of bi.