• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Am I Gay?

It takes a lot of strength to be out, one way or another.

The world wants to sit on your chest, while you are paralized in a state between who you are and what the world wants to tell you to be.

The trick is--once you've decided not to bear the weight of the meddling world--is to push it off and live your life on your own terms.

Be strong and know that you need no one to validate who and what you are--and can be.
 
Tromps said:
Has anyone experienced their attractions changing over the course of their life? If that makes sense. Or do you usually have the same orientation for life?
Click to expand...

yup I'm like that. When I was younger like a teenager at say 15 I was way more attracted to women than I am now.
 
Bro just be yourself...
Who cares what other people think... if they are to busy judging you, than they are not living life.... they are just judging... have fun be yourself and stay true... and you can never feel bad about being yourself....that is freedom no one can give you; but yourself
 
Nah. I challenge ANYONE to walk by a hot girl with boobs on display not to look.
I was like that a lot. If you think you would like to try things with a girl. Try it. Trying it doesn't even make you gay. Don't worry about the labels. Doesn't mean anything unless someone asks you, and if they should you can always say, "I don't know yet." I take from your post you are under 20. It took until I was 18 before I could understand and accept my sexuality and to this day at 23 I'm still learning new and interesting things about myself and my partner. Don't get hung up, just go with what feel right. Just be smart about it huh?
And don't worry about the whole virgin thing. Its overrated. Maybe people will tell you their first time was much less than magical. Hell I don't even remember it even feeling that good and I know I'm not alone. You can't gauge anything by it really.
Feel free to reply back, BL has a lot of wisdom they can offer. :D
 
sounds like your bisexual to me. fucking a dude for 4+hrs on drugs or not would imply, atleast in my mind, that you have an attraction towards men. you say your attracted to women also, so having neither a sole preference for male or female, you enjoy the sexuality of both sexes, which is called bisexual.

nothing wrong with being strait, gay, or bi. imo were all people and we all love sex- just how we like our sex differs. its like some like beer, some like wine, and some like liqour- and some dont drink at all.
 
lozgod said:
I thik gay is a choice. You choose who you sleep with. I know people think it's genetic but I don't buy it. You can sleep with guys or girls. Your choice. I've sen sexy transexuals that I thought were hot but wouldn't sleep with them because they are men. I choose not to be gay.
Click to expand...

Man, i have a few gay male friends who would completely disagree with your statement here. From their personal experiences, and i am sure those experiences wont be anything unusual to a lot of gay men, but what a person goes through with accepting themselves as being gay, coming out, and finding their place in society can be a rather traumatic time.

Until they finally get to a stage where they are accepting of themselves and comfortable with their sexuality, life is pretty damn hard. Now this isn't for all cases i am sure, but the gay guys i have mingled with have seemed to go through a hell of a lot. Some of them wishing they weren't gay, and resenting their sexuality....

To say they 'choose' to put themselves through that is rather close minded.
 
^agreed. I am a gay male and it took me a long time to come to terms with my sexuality. I knew I was attracted to other males and I was ashamed and in denial for my teenage years. I sure didn't choose to be different or to feel the way I do...it's just how it is. I knew from a VERY young age but didn't really come to terms with it til a few years back. In my mid-twenties several close friends knew (I'm 30 now) but it wasn't until I met a wonderful person in Nov. '08 that I "came out." I was very lucky in the sense that everyone I knew, including my family, was fine with it and love my partner. They were shocked because I'm not feminine acting or a "flaming queen"-kinda guy. I like to think that I'm gay in sexuality only, not culturally. Honestly I'm not a big fan of the label at all but I guess I'm homosexual same as I'm white, human and male. Society seems to be adapting and accepting of humans being human. It's nice to be a person of the earth and not this-and-that...just a mere being, being.
 
Trust me, gay is not a choice. Coming out is a bitch for most people, as I can attest to since I just told my mother than I am seeing a girl and she looked at me like I had 9 heads. No one wants to go through that.

I'm really tired of labels just for the sake of making other people comfortable. If it mattered that much to someone that came into my life, casually or otherwise, it would behoove them to walk away because frankly I have no time for it.

If I like a girl, I'm going to sleep with/hang out with/date her. Same goes for a guy. Though my attraction tends to be stronger for women, I do still find guys attractive. I'm not going to fight with myself or anyone else over labels. It is what it is. I am who I am. Get over it. That's what I say. Live and let fcuking live!!!
 
It is more ignorant than closed minded.

To be honest, I know I had internalized a lot of the homophobic sentiments of American society, growing up in the late seventies/early eighties.

Choosing to be gay? That is preposterous. It is probably more a rationalization to hate the other. The other being openly gay men.

:)
 
nautilus said:
From a rational standpoint, who the hell would choose this! Yes, I open my arms up to alienation, major depression, ridicule, and self loathing!
Click to expand...

I disagree with this logic. That is the same logic people use when they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. It's akin to saying, "I'm an alcoholic, drug addict, serial killer, etc.... because I was born that way" 8)

I call bullshit. One may have a so-called predisposition to do certain things, but at the end of the day he or she CHOOSES to pick up that bottle, CHOOSES to snort that line, CHOOSES to stab someone with a knife, and CHOOSES to have homosexual relations.

What if Jeffrey Dahmer had told the judge that he had a certain gene or brain defect that caused him to chop people up and put them in his freezer? The judge wouldn't take that seriously.

I'm no homophobe; I have had gay friends. I'm no bible-thumper either; hell, I'm an atheist. I don't think anything is wrong with homosexuality and I feel they have the right to be married and adopt and all that stuff. But don't tell me it isn't a conscious decision.

I'm not saying it's easy to come out and be accepted. How easy is it for an addict to (a) accept they're an addict and (b) admit it to their friends and family? Not easy.

Right around the time of my 2nd DWI I realized that I might be an alcoholic. At first I blamed everyone around me: my friends for drinking with me, my family for raising me wrong, even my genetics for making me the way I was. After literally years of alienation, depression, ridicule, and self-loathing, I realized that I did in fact have a problem and that it was with the CHOICES I was making. I owned up to my problem and I took the proper measures to fix it.

To the OP, so what if you had gay sex for 4 hours and are bi-sexual. Be yourself, accept it for what it is, and live your life to the fullest.
 
Being gay is like being in love. Or being in pain, for that matter. In the sense that only you can know for sure. Your sexual preference is not defined by a single sexual encounter.
 
I suppose one could choose to think homosexuality is wrong. But that still does not negate the simple fact that a small number of men and women are only attracted to the same sex.

And insisting that homosexuals do not act on their impulse to be with someone of the same sex in a physical and/or romantic way is to deny them their humanity.

Comparing homosexuality to alcoholism or any other drug addiction is laugable really.

It's even more laugable to make such a comparison on this particular messege board.


Again, I believe such presumptions and stretches of logic are only rationalizations to hate on the other.
 
To address another point mentioned:

Jeffery Dahmer was a psycopath.

Are you really comparing psychopathy with homosexuality?

That is absolutely ridiculous.
 
Tromps said:
Last night I lost my virginity, to a male, but the main reason I went along with it was because I was fucked up and he wanted to really bad. The thing is I find myself more attracted to females, but I've never really done anything with a girl. Does this mean I'm gay now?
Click to expand...


It means you have had a same sex experience.

Being gay means that you desire to and are capable of having a strong physical, psychological , and romantic connection with someone of the same sex.

As has been mentioned, one single experience does not now define you as a sexual being.

:)
 
Noodle said:
I suppose one could choose to think homosexuality is wrong. But that still does not negate the simple fact that a small number of men and women are only attracted to the same sex.

And insisting that homosexuals do not act on their impulse to be with someone of the same sex in a physical and/or romantic way is to deny them their humanity.
Click to expand...

I don't know where you got this idea ^ but I NEVER said homosexuals should not act on their impulses. Personally, I think you need a lesson in reading comprehension.

Comparing homosexuality to alcoholism or any other drug addiction is laugable really.

It's even more laugable to make such a comparison on this particular messege board.
Click to expand...

Almost as laughable and ridiculous as saying homosexuality isn't a choice :D

Again, I believe such presumptions and stretches of logic are only rationalizations to hate on the other.
Click to expand...

I don't hate on anyone. Did you not read in my original post that I've had gay friends and that I support gay marriage?

I'm just saying that biologically and physiologically speaking, there is good reason that the penis fits perfectly into the vagina. But I'm not even going to get into that aspect of it. I'm just saying it's a choice, nothing more nothing less.

Noodle said:
To address another point mentioned:

Jeffery Dahmer was a psycopath.

Are you really comparing psychopathy with homosexuality?

That is absolutely ridiculous.
Click to expand...

I think you're missing my point. I'm not comparing psychopathy with homosexuality....you're borderline putting words into my mouth. Once again my argument is NOT about whether it's right or wrong, it is about choice.
 
i'm going to turn this around and quote a gay friend of mine

"I've slept with plenty of woman. Sex is just sex. It matters who you are attracted to."
 
There is no argument as far as I am concerned.

I was in love with and lived with a gay man for many years. I also have known many gay men and women.

They did not choose to be gay.

It is what they are.

You can believe what you like, but insisting that homosexuality is a choice is dead wrong.

I think you may be confusing gay culture with being homosexual.

Being homosexual isn't any more a choice than being heterosexual, or being born with blonde hair and blue eyes.



...
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top