Am I Being Unreasonable?

[resqguy]

I have a question about an expectation I put on my girlfriend that almost led to our breakup. I realize that there aren't any hard and fast rules and what ever is acceptable to both should be outside the judgement of others. I believe in live and let live. Don't view this as taking sides, think of it as a sanity check for me.

She says that she is a private person in that she doesn't share all her personal business with others (coworkers, friends) even family. She was in a relationship with a guy for about 10 years that ended about 6 months ago. They never lived together and he actually moved to a different city about 1 year ago. They hadn't been close or intimate for the past 2 years. She didn't want to be the one to break it off and wanted him to end it. We started seeing each other about 1 1/2 years ago.

When we started seeing each other I understood about keeping things secret. I tried to convince her to break it off with the other guy, but she wouldn't. Now she has been out of the other relationship for 6 months and we are still being secret. She explained that it was too soon for her to be seen with someone else after the previous relationship.

I finally explained to her that it is disrespectful to me to keep denying that we are seeing each other. I'm not asking to make some big announcement, I'm just tired of sneaking around. I'm to the point of insisting on being included with the activities she does with family and (close) friends.

Besides this, we have a great relationship. She is beautiful, intelligent, and I love her deeply.

 

[pofacedhoe]

this has alarm bells ringing

big red flag

its majorly disrespectful and ultimately dishonest

1 1/2 years and you dont know anyone in her life? WTF!!!

its very weird and very false. they weren't married so whats the issue. she sounds distant and unable to be open and conect- 10 years and never lived together? do you want this to be you?

you need to have a serious chat with her about what your relationship is, where its going etc.

if they dont know how they feel or what they want to define things as after a year and half then fuck that...

 

[protovack]

No, you arent being unreasonable.

 

[dopemaster]

She still fucking him.

I went through something similar. Basically this chick left her bf and was eventually going to go back to him and we did live together.

I did keep it on the low. He did find out. He called the cops and said I kidnapped her. The police showed up and just asked if she was there on her own free will and left.

They did say they would not say where she was to him and told him to never come to my house again.

I kicked her out after that cuz I didn't know. I was with her three months. Later on the guy kept placing anonymous calls the police making shit up.

He made up drug shit and the one time I met him he eas strung the fuck out. All that being said he wasn't scared to throw stones in a glass house.

This did cause me some problems and misunderstandings with the law.

Dude is a pos and his "gf" living with another man right now.

You really want to avoid this type of trouble.

The bottom line is if she won't publicly say she is with you, its gonna cause some sort of problem for you.

I didn't say it was the same thing, just similar. Jealousy is nasty and he will find out most likely and you will get blamed for something.

Either that or you can just keep letting her treat you like shit and see if that is something you fancy for yourself. Maybe nothing bad will happen but something bad is already happening.

She is lying to you and disrespecting you. When I found out I was over her. She lied about being single and if she was staying in touch behind my back while lying to him, she just was a cunt.

Your lady is lying to two men and probably sleeping with both them as well. You really shouldn't want thay for yourself.

I suppose if you really still want her, give her an ultimatum and have her go through with it in front of uou but even then, can you really trust her?

She didn't seem to care about your feelings when you grew the balls to discuss the elephant in the room.

Just my two cents and personal experience as well as what I have seen. A liar is a liar, a cheater is a cheater, a bitch is a bitch and a hoe is a hoe.

Her lack of regard for your feelings should be enough for you to get how she will always treat you.