Am I asexual?

[cowardescent]

I've asked on a few other forums and some people said I have a low libido but I'm not sure. I'm a 22yr old man who only successfully started masturbating 2 years ago. Not because I grew up in a religious household, was abused etc.. but I didn't know how to do it. In 7th grade I got introduced into the idea of porn/masturbation by my classmates and I tried it but found no appeal. I got horny but it would go away quickly.

It wasn't until I was staying over at my mothers friends house when I was 20 while she was away went through her clothing to find latex boots, pumps, and high heels. The idea of masturbating with them came into my head and I got horny like never before. I decided to lie on her bed and try to jerk off into her high heels. I came for the first time in my life and screamed a bit.

Ever since then, I've been using my mothers shoes to jerk off but it hasn't been the same. I've been told on Reddit that I actually fit the definition of a fetish. i.e. needing an object to complete masturbation/ejaculation. So I don't think I'm asexual but rather have a higher threshold of stimulus for arousal than the average male.

What can I do? It's obviously inappropriate and probably illegal to be jerking off with people shoes but that's the only thing I can get horny off. I tried foot porn but it does NOTHING for me.

The best way I can put it to someone who loves porn is imagine if you're hungry and try to get physically satisfied from looking at an image of a pizza. It almost certainly won't do anything to curb your appetite. Same thing for me when it comes to porn only that's my sexual appetite.

If I were to look at a person in real life having sex/smell a woman/have a woman near me/be near a womans shoes then it would get me aroused just like a hungry person looking at a real life pizza would. But for both of us, the only way to fully be satisfied is to have sex/eat that pizza.

 

[Vastness]

You've been jerking off with your own mother's shoes? I don't have a shoe fetish personally but I'm not surprised it wasn't the same as using shoes that didn't belong to your mother. Curious if you have tried using shoes belonging to any other woman?

If you think you might have clinically low libido you should get your hormone levels checked. This is the only way to find out for sure although I feel from your description that maybe there is something else going on.

I'm not sure that your description of pizza and porn is any different from anyone else's experience of either. Most people will not find porn satisfying in the same way as actually having sex, just as most people would not find looking at a picture of a pizza the same as actually eating one. The only differences are that it's not possible to manually stimulate your taste buds to somewhat simulate pizza-eating, and it's not possible to order sex on your phone as conveniently as it is to order pizza (arguably, depending on one's own ethical leanings, psychology, and financial status, probably for some people it is as convenient as ordering pizza).

Anyway... is your shoe fetish or low libido bothering you in some way? What is it that you'd like to be different about this situation? If you're happy the way you are then I wouldn't worry about it. Try not to let yourself be influenced by other people's ideas about what you "should" be doing sexually. If your lack of sexual interest is bothering you however, I would say getting a hormone test would be the logical first port of call.

 

[cowardescent]

You've been jerking off with your own mother's shoes? I don't have a shoe fetish personally but I'm not surprised it wasn't the same as using shoes that didn't belong to your mother. Curious if you have tried using shoes belonging to any other woman?

If you think you might have clinically low libido you should get your hormone levels checked. This is the only way to find out for sure although I feel from your description that maybe there is something else going on.

I'm not sure that your description of pizza and porn is any different from anyone else's experience of either. Most people will not find porn satisfying in the same way as actually having sex, just as most people would not find looking at a picture of a pizza the same as actually eating one. The only differences are that it's not possible to manually stimulate your taste buds to somewhat simulate pizza-eating, and it's not possible to order sex on your phone as conveniently as it is to order pizza (arguably, depending on one's own ethical leanings, psychology, and financial status, probably for some people it is as convenient as ordering pizza).

Anyway... is your shoe fetish or low libido bothering you in some way? What is it that you'd like to be different about this situation? If you're happy the way you are then I wouldn't worry about it. Try not to let yourself be influenced by other people's ideas about what you "should" be doing sexually. If your lack of sexual interest is bothering you however, I would say getting a hormone test would be the logical first port of call.

Well I like masturbation but I realize that I can't be masturbating with people shoes or purses so what is the solution? Buying used shoes really doesn't work for me (I've tried).

By the way, what actually is the legal status of this? Is it illegal to masturbate with someone elses shoes.

And I've taken a testosterone test and it came back normal.

 

[jackie jones]

@cowardescent

You have what is called Paraphilia. It means you are turned on by a certain object - in your case shoes. It is like a shoe fetish amped up. Read up on it.

It does not mean you are Asexual. It means during a sexual incounter, you need that object to be part of it so you can be turned on.

I have a serious foot fetish, which is somewhat related. Sometimes I need to fixate on a girls feet, especially the scent, during intercourse. It can be a deeply erotic experience, and the orgasms are very intense.