Alternative to Alcohol...social events

[jimbojonesoz]

Hi Everyone,




Quit drinking about 12 months ago(Been drinking since I was 15, and decided to take a clean break from it for a while), and am finding it more and more "difficult" to enjoy social events...all my mates drink, all parties/weddings etc...everyone drinks...i.e. drinking culture.....so Im finding myself less and less enthusiastic about socialising, purely because when I drank, I came out of my shell, and socialised....


Im by no means adverse to "other" substances...just dont want to get back into drinking purely for social reasons...


Ive tried benzos(legally), and while they do help with anxiety, they dont give the reduction in inhibitions, euphoria wanting to party/socialise...which is what Im after


mdma - Its great, but not ideal for family events
wizz - I feel much more controlled than when on mdma(I def. prefer mdma, but can be very difficult to "hide" that your on it...hence, I def wouldnt take at family events!)...but it's hard to source sometimes (same with mdma)....perfect for weddings/family events etc.




Are there any other options anyone can suggest? Any legal(i.e. via prescription) alternatives?(I have a very good Doc, who will pretty much prescribe me anything)....or is wizz/mdma etc the only other real options if I dont want to drink?


Cheers.

 

[spacejunk]

How much effort have you put into trying to socialise amongst drinkers whilst sober?
I don't drink, and haven't been taking other substances lately either - and while drunk people can be really tiresome - i've found it gets much easier to be sociable without being under the influence the more you experience it.

For years i would smoke a bit of weed before (or while) hanging out with friends who were drinking, and this worked for me - but it depends on the situation and the individual. Most of my social interaction involve music, going out for meals and that sort of thing, so i dont miss alcohol at all - nor do i need to be on stims to enjoy myself when i go out. Practice makes perfect though - i stopped drinking about 6 years ago - i guess socialising in environments i'm happy to be in make a big difference as well.
I mean, if was in a shitty nightclub with trashed people all around me, i'd probably feel like something a little more mind-altering, but the older i get the less i do that kind of thing...

Really though, without trying to sound preachy - i would avoid prescription drugs as a social lubricant; especially benzos.
I'd rather remember what i did/said the next morning...and benzos' 'recreational' value is rather negligible IMO, while they are very addictive if you fall into regular use.

 

[jimbojonesoz]

How much effort have you put into trying to socialise amongst drinkers whilst sober?
I don't drink, and haven't been taking other substances lately either - and while drunk people can be really tiresome - i've found it gets much easier to be sociable without being under the influence the more you experience it.

For years i would smoke a bit of weed before (or while) hanging out with friends who were drinking, and this worked for me - but it depends on the situation and the individual. Most of my social interaction involve music, going out for meals and that sort of thing, so i dont miss alcohol at all - nor do i need to be on stims to enjoy myself when i go out. Practice makes perfect though - i stopped drinking about 6 years ago - i guess socialising in environments i'm happy to be in make a big difference as well.
I mean, if was in a shitty nightclub with trashed people all around me, i'd probably feel like something a little more mind-altering, but the older i get the less i do that kind of thing...

Really though, without trying to sound preachy - i would avoid prescription drugs as a social lubricant; especially benzos.
I'd rather remember what i did/said the next morning...and benzos' 'recreational' value is rather negligible IMO, while they are very addictive if you fall into regular use.

We tend to have a social event at least once a week...so Ive been trying very hard to socialise (without alcohol), for the last 12 months...early in the evening is usually ok...but the longer the night goes, the drunker everyone else gets, the more I dont want to be there...which isnt what I want

Weed - Tried it numerous times, and it does not agree with me at all(In a social event)...I get overly paranoid, dont like it at all.

Benzos - Im aware of the risks(addiction), and also that they really do not provide any benefits(For me anyway) socially....so I dont use them.

Hence my question re other prescription(Or other) drugs...do any exist that provide similar behavioural changes that Im looking for? Kava?

Thanks for your advice/response.

Cheers.

 

[spacejunk]

I used to take dexies in those sort of situations.
Not prescribed to me - and i'm certainly not recommending amphetamine as an alternative to alcohol - but if you are going to go down that path, they're a lot cleaner and less fiendish than street speed (invariably meth in australia nowadays).
I found drunk people didnt bug the shit out of me like they do when i've been in their company on drugs like acid, or totally sober.
Its a matter of taste i suppose - and what you have available to you.
Again, i'm not going to recommend any drug over another; perhaps a better way of looking at it is to say what i would avoid.
Some states of intoxicaton totally clash with each other (like tripping around pissed friends as i mentioned) but i could always remain functional, sociable and hold up my end of a bullshit conversation on a small dose of dexamphetamine.

Of course everyone's experience is different - and amphetamines have a whole lot of side effects i dont like...which is why i guess i avoid situations where i'm the only person who isnt getting plastered, which admittedly can be pretty damn hard in australian culture (and many others). It took a couple of years to get to the point where people weren't constantly badgering me with "...you're not drinking? Here, i'll get you a beer" etc.
Like i said in my previous post, it gets easier with time - and when i stopped drinking excessively on Friday/Saturday nights, i really enjoyed having my weekends back and hangover free. Good on you for doing so well, i hope you can find a good balance and have a good time without hitting the bottle or getting sucked into some other substance use.

I do need to mention, however that there is a rule against "what drug should i take?" threads on bluelight, so if people could keep that in mind so we can continue this discussion by keeping it 'above board' in that respect (if i havent crossed that line already)
...but i think there is certainly some worthwhile harm minimisation discussion to be had on this topic.

Welcome to bluelight by the way, jimbo.

 

[jimbojonesoz]

Thanks very much spacejunk - Extremely helpful! (And thanks for the welcome!)

I dont want to break any forum rules, so hoping this doesnt, but would Dexamphetamine be something a doctor would even consider prescribing in my circumstances (As I thought it was only prescribed to patients with diagnosed ADHD? I could be completely wrong here of course!)...or would "alternate" sources be the only option?

Im very much still at that point you mention (Being constantly badgered to have a beer...and as the night progresses, it only gets worse lol), but Im well and truly past even being mildly tempted to have a drink....just doesnt interest me any more.....hence I want to maintain my "social" self, just minus the alcohol...being "sober" just isnt working for me when socialising...I want to maintain my social circle of friends, and go out with them each weekend...how I do this without alcohol is the million dollar question lol (And once again, if I have eluded to asking "what drug should I take", I apologise...new to the forum rules ) - Side note to this, are other members permitted to PM suggestions?

Thanks again for sharing your experiences, and advice - It has been extremely helpful.

 

[dez79]

Kava phenibut benzo

 

[canberracrack]

the pipe is your friend. Ice is what u need.

BUT NO, DONT SMOKE IT

buy a point, drop half into a coffee (full might be a bit much for no tolerance) but with drinking it u wont absorb as much as smoking so maybe it would be alright idk

drink it fairly slowly. maybe over like 20 min

and see how that goes for ya. Less addictive ROA and you will be pretty fuckin peppy. Dare i say beaming.

but dont pick up the pipe.

meth can be your friend if u make a vow to never smoke it. and this is very easy if you are not surrounded by pipe fiends

cause smoking it to perfection is an art. if u dont know how to do it and try u will get fuck all.

 

[spacejunk]

would Dexamphetamine be something a doctor would even consider prescribing in my circumstances (As I thought it was only prescribed to patients with diagnosed ADHD? I could be completely wrong here of course!)...or would "alternate" sources be the only option?

Yeah, as far as i know ADD/ADHD and possibly narcolepsy are the only conditions a psychiatrist would prescribe dexamphetamine for. Alternate sources, as you say.

As for the social pressure to drink, i guess my main suggestion would be to find some kind of activity that you could organise with your mates that doesnt involve alcohol. This could be any number of things, depending on your interests, age and a bunch of other factors.
I might just be lucky (or my friends gave up and saw me as a liquor-hating [now ex] junkie) - but i found that after that first year or so of giving up drinking that they just accepted i wasnt a drinker and stopped pestering me to get drunk with them. It can take time for people to realise that - for whatever reason - you choose not to partake. Good friends will accept this.
I have found that more and more of my friends have followed suit - they see that i can have a night out without pissing away $300+ and that i'm still in control of my faculties at 3am and not doing the sort of stupid shit i used to do after boozing it up all night.

Some people love a drink, others go along with what everyone else is doing - but i think if you're committed to not drinking, which it sounds like you are, it gets easier and more normal as time goes on for you and the people around you.

the pipe is your friend. Ice is what u need.

BUT NO, DONT SMOKE IT

Huh?
I dont know what this means exactly, but i would advise jimbo take a look at the last couple of pages of this thread before taking this advice seriously.

 

[Divine Moments]

I dont want to break any forum rules, so hoping this doesnt, but would Dexamphetamine be something a doctor would even consider prescribing in my circumstances (As I thought it was only prescribed to patients with diagnosed ADHD? I could be completely wrong here of course!)...or would "alternate" sources be the only option?

It wouldn't get prescribed for that purpose and it is generally quite difficult for adults to get it prescribed at all (without barn door ADHD or narcolepsy). Amphetamines and other illicit stimulants would probably achieve the effects you seek but not without considerable risks. This might sound stupid but have you tried a good dose of caffeine? If it's just for social occasions you could consider nicotine (e.g. vaped or in NRT not in a cigarette).

 

[jimbojonesoz]

It wouldn't get prescribed for that purpose and it is generally quite difficult for adults to get it prescribed at all (without barn door ADHD or narcolepsy). Amphetamines and other illicit stimulants would probably achieve the effects you seek but not without considerable risks. This might sound stupid but have you tried a good dose of caffeine? If it's just for social occasions you could consider nicotine (e.g. vaped or in NRT not in a cigarette).

Cheers re Dex.

Seasoned caffeine drinker(so would need to be a massive dose to get any real affects), and non-smoker.

 

[SixBuckets]

I didn't drink for around two years, although I eventually started again (but at much lower quantities than before). I found the best strategy was to take charge of my social life and introduce non-alcohol-focussed activities. It doesn't really help you with weddings or family functions, but proactively contacting friends and inviting them out for dinner or coffee instead of just going along to alcohol-focussed events keeps you busy and happy. It also makes it a lot easier to skip the pub nights, etc, if you feel you need a break to adapt to non-drinking life.

 

[jimbojonesoz]

I didn't drink for around two years, although I eventually started again (but at much lower quantities than before). I found the best strategy was to take charge of my social life and introduce non-alcohol-focussed activities. It doesn't really help you with weddings or family functions, but proactively contacting friends and inviting them out for dinner or coffee instead of just going along to alcohol-focussed events keeps you busy and happy. It also makes it a lot easier to skip the pub nights, etc, if you feel you need a break to adapt to non-drinking life.

Thanks SixBuckets - As you say, weddings/family get togethers, all centre around drinking....impossible to avoid, lol, unless I want to become a recluse

re. friends, alternate (Non-alcohol) events, is very difficult(for me, and I know it just sounds like Im trying to justify my position/circumstances)...but Ive got a close group of friends, that have been my best friends since early teens...I catch up with them multiple times a week...lol, usually for a counter meal which is fine, they know I dont drink, and dont pester me(Counter meal only involves them having a beer or 2!)...Its the weekend get togethers where it goes beyond them having a "just a few beers etc" that I want to still attend, and enjoy..

 

[hatfish]

Before I say anything please keep in mind that I'm basically your worst case scenario: a social recluse! This may be of no use at all to you. I am also a non drinker, as I find it makes me depressed the day/s after drinking even one beer, and it is also paradoxically very habit forming for me. Anyway, in your own words, you state that you are fine in the early evening, only later on when everyone's pissed that you start getting over the situation. Well what is that telling you? In my experience, if you're at the pub and not either a. drinking, b. enjoying live music, c. playing pool, darts, whatever, or d. catching up with mates you haven't seen in a while, you're probably bored out of your brain. When people are drunk they are annoying! I personally don't think you should pick up a different drug habit to make up for this fact. Sadly, you, like me, just might not be able to have it all: remain sober AND enjoy a big night out.

Why not chill with everyone as much as you fancy, and when the magic of the evening starts to fade, hit the road? You don't have to make a big deal about it, just say to whoever you're listnening to drivel on about the same thing they talk about all the time, well, I'm gonna head. And do it. Then you can have an early night and make the most of not having a hangover, or watch rage, play video games etc til the early hours... For mine (on the rare occasion I venture out on a weekend) this takes care of the 'social requirement' and leaves me fresh and not bummed out with how crap the night became. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

 

[hatfish]

Aternatively, you could try cutting back on how often you catch up with your mates... The experience may seem fresher and less tiresome once a month or so. I understand that may not be viable

 

[spacejunk]

Why not chill with everyone as much as you fancy, and when the magic of the evening starts to fade, hit the road?

^ brilliant post. I totally agree.

 

[junkie skumbag]

i feel the same going to doofs as most people drink and when i do the next day it just cant handle the anxiety it would trigger....i gave it up last year in october and found a great drug that has the sort of confidence of being drunk n sloppy with a mdma like edge and its GHB its pretty easy and cheap to get it has no hangover and yeah its just works for me and i havnt looked back on stiopping drinking

 

[jimbojonesoz]

i feel the same going to doofs as most people drink and when i do the next day it just cant handle the anxiety it would trigger....i gave it up last year in october and found a great drug that has the sort of confidence of being drunk n sloppy with a mdma like edge and its GHB its pretty easy and cheap to get it has no hangover and yeah its just works for me and i havnt looked back on stiopping drinking

Cheers mate - tried sending you a PM, but your inbox is full...

 

[jimbojonesoz]

Before I say anything please keep in mind that I'm basically your worst case scenario: a social recluse! This may be of no use at all to you. I am also a non drinker, as I find it makes me depressed the day/s after drinking even one beer, and it is also paradoxically very habit forming for me. Anyway, in your own words, you state that you are fine in the early evening, only later on when everyone's pissed that you start getting over the situation. Well what is that telling you? In my experience, if you're at the pub and not either a. drinking, b. enjoying live music, c. playing pool, darts, whatever, or d. catching up with mates you haven't seen in a while, you're probably bored out of your brain. When people are drunk they are annoying! I personally don't think you should pick up a different drug habit to make up for this fact. Sadly, you, like me, just might not be able to have it all: remain sober AND enjoy a big night out.

Why not chill with everyone as much as you fancy, and when the magic of the evening starts to fade, hit the road? You don't have to make a big deal about it, just say to whoever you're listnening to drivel on about the same thing they talk about all the time, well, I'm gonna head. And do it. Then you can have an early night and make the most of not having a hangover, or watch rage, play video games etc til the early hours... For mine (on the rare occasion I venture out on a weekend) this takes care of the 'social requirement' and leaves me fresh and not bummed out with how crap the night became. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Cheers for the reply....It's not just the nights out that get tiresome, its also the weddings/family bbq's etc....big nights out, Im usually hitting the road before midnight...weddings/events, not so easy to exit once everyones had a gut full lol.

 

[hatfish]

Cheers for the reply....It's not just the nights out that get tiresome, its also the weddings/family bbq's etc....big nights out, Im usually hitting the road before midnight...weddings/events, not so easy to exit once everyones had a gut full lol.

I know what you mean… (Spoken in emotionally convincing tone) “Oh come on mate, just hang around a bit longer, what, aren’t you having a good time?” “What don’t you like/ love us anymore?” “What, you think you’re too good for us or something?” Well actually, I was having a good time and do like/ love you and we were all on the same level at the start of the evening… not at this exact moment though! It’s natural to feel guilty, that you’re being judged or giving the impression that you don’t care much for present company, but if they are truly people who care for you they should respect your wishes too! They’re plastered anyway and will have forgotten you were even there the next day so whatever in my books. Misery loves company. Etc.

Finally, I once read a quote which I am unable to correctly quote which spoke of leaving an event without disturbing the flow of the evening. That has somehow always come to mind in these situations. Good luck with your social journey, you’ll eventually work out what’s best for you anyway

 

[FunkyMan..]

Is it me or are Alcohol drinkers the biggest pushers if you do not have a drink with them, they act like you are a kill joy. " are you sure you do not want a beer" repeated over and over again. I get strange looks from my mate who new me as a big drinker , like I have some problem because I choose not to drink and have a spliff instead.

Giving away Alcohol was the best thing I have done , waking up fresh on a Saturday morning is the best!!

If you are out just have a glass off coke or an energy drink and leave before it gets messy.