I've been there so, so many times myself. I understand how shitty you feel right now.. The shame as well, many of us opiate addicts are quite ashamed of our behavior which in time becomes yet another reason to use (forget about the guilt&shame).. At least that's what happened in my case.
Anyway, I know there isn't much I can say that will help you. I suggest you post this In a more appropriate subforum (or even better ask a mod to move it). 'The Dark Side' is the subforum that comes to mind. I believe that would. Be the most appropriate forum for this type of thread and will get you the most feedback on the topic.
Good luck!