I drink I try to sleep I get up I go to work I sit at work and stress. I feel run down but I can't let it get to me. If I dont work things fall apart. I'm in pain, kidneys hurt, only piss twice a day, I do drink lots of water. Eyes are bloodshot, sunken, tired so so tired. Grey skin. Broken Veins. It hurts. Fall asleep at work. I battle through. Skint, what the fuck are we going to eat, must work to pay my rent. How is he going to pay his? I can't afford to pay mine and his. My shoes have a hole in, can't afford more. Clothes are years old, need more. Don't feel confident.
He's not working I must keep us both afloat. I come home I make dinner for me and him. I struggle to get him surface from bed where he has been lying all day he gets up he struggles to eat the meal i've spent an hour making. My eyes burn I worry about work the next day I drink myself I need to to at least get some sleep. He wakes me up during the night. Asking me for booze. Broken sleep. Exhausted.
No conversation from him. We've not been anywhere for weeks. I go alone. I'm lonely. I dispair. What do I do. Must keep on keeping on. I have to work. Things wil fall apart. I need help to but I can't as I need to keep my job. I'm 27. I have no life. I sleep drink and work. He wont come places with me. I have no money to go places I spend it keeping two people. I don't earn much. I'm lonely I want my life back!