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alcoholism thread

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I've been thinking about seeking help for my drinking problem but I hear AA is a cult and not for people under 40, and I think most conselours (besides psychs) no less than I do about addiction. And a decent psych makes hundreds an hour.

Thanks guineapig for responding to my thread and getting me involved in this one. For people who don't know I posted this yesterday:

I'm in my mid twenties now and haven't been a serious hard drug user for years despite a constant alcohol intake. I've come to believe my alcohol dependence is almost entirely due to my past drug use, despite it running rampant througout my family tree. Am I wrong to think this? Both of my grandfathers and most likely great grandfathers were alcoholics but I blame my addiction more on my past drug use. From the time I was young, maybe 15, I was constantly intoxicated in some way from weed, marijuana, shrooms, acid, opium, oxycontin, coke, and every other drug at least once a month. A very intense cocktail everyday. I can't think of a single drug I didn't do besides meth. Now today, I am a drunk and don't do any other drugs. Yeah I occasionally smoke a joint but don't even care about it. The only thing that keeps me going is alcohol, and thats all i care about. My philosophy is that because I was always fucked up when i was maturing, i can never be satisfied being sober as an adult even though i could care less about drugs. Booze gives me a legal way to fuck myself out of my mind everyday even though i really could care less about getting high. It's like my body cant take being sober even though i could care less about doing any drug.


I first discovered bluelight back, about 6-7 years ago, unbelievable to think it now. Really haven't looked at it much since i've been in college, mostly because my drug of choice has become alcohol. I'm glad this problem is getting recognized because it can be a more powerful drug than anything else to certain people, me being one. I find alcohol to be the most addictive drug on the planet besides nicotine and possibly heroin. It's good to see other members of bluelight expieriencing the same thing.
 
How old are people who are battling alcohol? I'm 23. I've realized for some time I will die if I keep up the pace I have for the past 6-7 years. I got alcohol poisioning when I was 13. I have been arrested at least 3 times, a DUI, 7 stiches in my chin, and a small peice of my ear is missing (more minor than it sounds). What really makes it crazy is that I am in my final year of college with a GPA in the A range. It makes it difficult to understand myself and attempt to stop drinking before I end up crashing my car into a telephone pole and never thinking another thought again.
 
i'm right there with you, jahreid. i'm 20 years old and i've been struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction since i was 18. i mean i've been a drug addict since i was 15, but i've been Struggling with it ;) since 18. my main problem is alcohol and heroin though. i drank daily from 18 to early 20, pretty much, i've been through DT's, been arrested 3 times, been to jail... blah blah blah.. all the stuff you would assume happens to a fucked up alcoholic. i started going to AA meetings when i turned 20, and i stayed sober for about 6 months, i just relapsed aweek ago and i've drank twice since then. i dont really know what to say- i already see myself slipping back into the patterns of drinking , craving alcohol, ect. it must be genes, my whole family is full of alcoholics and fucked up drug addicts.. dunno.
 
Yeah, its a complicated addiction as im sure any other is. It's hard to understand. I talk about this and I've had 11 drinks tonight, after going 5 days without a drink. Seems like the only time I want to discuss it is when i'm drunk. I don't even get withdrawls but when I let myself drink I can go forever, and even get energy from it, i'm working on my last beer and would go buy more if stores were still open. thats all thats holding me back at this point even though a normal person would be passed out by now. i cant even sleep after a 12 pack.
 
^sounds like me dude. thats tolerance for ya.
read through this thread. there are plenty of people in here that are still drinking and dealing with it (myself included) but there are also plenty of people that have gotten over it to some extent and offer good advice.
 
Long thread and I have not read all. That said; IMHO booze is the worst, most destructive substance out there to be addicted to. In many ways it is worse than an opiate addiction. For starters; serious untreated withdraws can/do kill you. It has landed me in the hospital with pancreatitis, gastritis and a fatty liver. The ER doctor told me "if you're trying to kill yourself just keep doing what you're doing". All I was doing at that time was drinking. Nothing else.
 
the funny thing about alcohol is that either noone cares, they laugh it off, or dont even notice.
the people at 711 KNOW i'll be there tonight buying a bunch of booze and we'll stand there and talk and all that, but i dont think it really registers that i am going to drink every last drop of what you just sold me.

its weird.
 
Well, booze is legal & socially acceptable. Crack, Heroin etc. are neither.
 
i'd have gone to the store by now for a beer run but i've been paranoid from the crazy storm [my old house makes some weird noises and might blow away] and all the cops [one tried to run me over the other nite; they damn near shot someone outside my house at 3am today].

but someone might drop by tonight, i might have a bit more cash, and i gotta grab some tortillas .. so once again i'll have to walk past a beer aisle.
just what i need, first hangover in over a week on monday, drowning in rain.
 
It's funny how having a high tolerance for alcohol is seen as such a laudable attribute in our societies. Tolerance is what fucks me up because I still get the same hangover as ever from a certain amount of alcohol despite the fact that now I'm not drunk on that amount. Once upon a time 8 pints of lager would have got me drunk...nowadays it takes twice that at least. I just had three weeks of not drinking and my tolerance doesn't seem to have gone down at all.

I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic to be honest but the substance has certainly caused me a few problems over the years, and the hold it has over me does worry me from time to time. It's all a matter of degrees, and it depends where you draw the line whether or not it's an alcohol problem or an alcohol addiction.
 
Its either alcohol or gbl for me, I cycle the addictions. You will get gbl withdrawel much quicker though. And it sucks, but gbl doesnt fuck up the liver and braincells.
 
Spurs_1882 said:
I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic to be honest but the substance has certainly caused me a few problems over the years, and the hold it has over me does worry me from time to time. It's all a matter of degrees, and it depends where you draw the line whether or not it's an alcohol problem or an alcohol addiction.
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Not to sound like a dick or anything but if you have to wonder or you aren't sure if you're an alcoholic or addict then you probably are, "normal" people don't have to think about it they just know they aren't. I myself have been struggling with alcoholism for years and it's the hardest addiction to beat in my opinion. When you walk into almost any store its in your face, god this shit sucks...
 
I'm just curious. Here's a question for all you drunks(and other fuck-ups). A little word association. OK? If I said "God", you would say... what?

EDIT: (Yes, this is leading somewhere. and btw, I include myself when I say 'drunks &other fuck ups')
 
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^^^

God may exist, it may not. If it does exist its not involved in the world. It certainly cannot remove addictions and shortcomings.

I know where this is leading.

I'm doing okay with my drinking, kinda keeping it around 2 to 4 beers on the weeknights. A little more on the weekends. Staying out of the bars helps.
 
JahReid said:
I first discovered bluelight back, about 6-7 years ago, unbelievable to think it now. Really haven't looked at it much since i've been in college, mostly because my drug of choice has become alcohol. I'm glad this problem is getting recognized because it can be a more powerful drug than anything else to certain people, me being one. I find alcohol to be the most addictive drug on the planet besides nicotine and possibly heroin. It's good to see other members of bluelight expieriencing the same thing.
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I have a very similar story. Even started using at the same time.

Its kinda funny that so many of us older members have ended up here on this stuff.

Right now I'm happy with my level of consumption, its alot less then it was even 6 months ago. But if I do need to cut back even more and can't then it will be a problem.

Insomnia is the thing holding me back, I wouldn't drink everyday if I could just find a way to sleep without the stuff. I've gone sober for months and still had issues. It sucks. Plus with no health insurance (well at least for another 6 months) sleeping meds are out of the question.
 
phactor! I think that ....your statement, "I know where this is leading" is part of the problem all we addicts have. It took me 30 years to just feel comfortable saying " I don't know" ...about anything. Do you know where this is leading?
 
plan9 said:
phactor! I think that ....your statement, "I know where this is leading" is part of the problem all we addicts have. It took me 30 years to just feel comfortable saying " I don't know" ...about anything. Do you know where this is leading?
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Well most likely to a 12 step discussion or suggestion.

Anyways, the United States is the only country which uses AA as a federally approved rehab method. It hurts us more then harms us.

I'm not powerless over alcohol, how the hell am I supposed to quit it then? I've been through the 12 steps/rehab and hated every minute of it. It works for some, but it ain't for me.
 
phactor, someone once said "before you can become truly wise you must first become a fool". Sounds kinda stupid, huh? Think about it.
 
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