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Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

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blahman8000 said:
There may already be one posted in this thread somewhere, but could someone spare me the long search for one, and recommend to me a good beer taper, maybe one that has worked for one of you? I'd appreciate it.
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Tapering Alcohol with Alcohol

I reduced more slowly over a longer period of time, but I was not drinking as much as the person in the example, and my taper was substantially aided by benzodiazepines. I experienced not as much discomfort as I expected and was overall pleased with my progress.

Be safe above all else, and if you are drinking to the point where you are at risk for seizures or DTs, please seek medical help right away. Good luck.
 
Good luck, blahman! Tapering with alcohol is something I couldn't ever do. I just don't have the discipline :\ So if you are able to do it, I would give you a big e-pat on the back. That link above is a great resource!

Good on you, phactor! I'm proud.

I've hit 10 days, consistent with my New Year's resolution. I'm battling mental cravings on a daily basis, quite rough ones at that. And the guilt level is fairly high right now in my heart. But I'm feeling fantastic physically and I've been having productive days. I really hope this connection with the new year is that little detail that makes this one the one that allows me to go all the way. Right now I am putting all of my faith in the "30 days" idea, and the promise that the cravings will slow down as the day count goes up. I think that keeping that faith is actually quite harder than getting past the first couple of days, but I think there's a huge reward waiting for me the day that I realize that it's worth it. :)
 
yeah, when you crawl into bed, and youre not spinning, and you know that youre about to actually get real sleep, its a great feeling.

348 days alcohol free here.

except in food, i have to cook with wine, sometimes the dish isnt even worth making with out it. that can lead to disaster though if the bottle gets left laying around for some.
 
^ha ha i did did that tonight (except with beer)! i went to the liquor store and bought a single can of stout to add to the beef stew i made tonight. it was weird but funny too, and i was happy that i wasn't using "well its in the recipe, so i may as well finish it," as an excuse. i should have used wine though! the beer was too bitter.

anyway, wow! PIP! 348! amazing, you inspire me! =D

and keep it up RL! just keep noticing the positives, and be proud of yourself!! you can do it!!

like ive said before, i have never woken up refreshed, wishing that i had gotten drunk the night before. ;)

im doing fine today.
 
it gets easier everyday;)
i live in the PNW, and its mighty inspirational, seeing so much growth on growth, and pure air, sunsets that rival... anywhere! its so beautiful and harmonious i feel a bit disgraceful putting that into my body in the midst of it all.

buuuuut, we grow some amazing old world wine here huh..? :) and have some of the best microbreweries, its hard to beat a PNW IPA. but they sure beat me, everyone i pounded down.

respect the land and respect yourself, and everything should work out for the best in the end.
 
The Pac NW does have some great microbrews.

Anyways, I did end up having two last night. Will keep it at two or less tonight (may try to go without again), may just go grab a light/low abv 24 ouncer tonight.

Anyways, my working out is such a major motivator this time around. I really am starting to enjoy lifting weights and am finally getting my diet into check. Drinking every day sets me back.

Very very slight increased Anxiety in the morning, but nothing like it was the last time I started cutting back (and at that point I had cut back from 6 to 5 lol). Work is starting to slow down just a little bit which is nice. Plus I am due for a vacation which I am going to start planning.

I did decent on my LSAT, combined with my good GPA and Resume (plus I will be getting some really good letters of recommendation)... I am ready to start applying to schools and get onto the next phase of my life. Cutting back on drinking is just a part of this.
 
3 weeks no drink or drug :D, none not zidda, no weed, no dxm nothing, not even nyquil.

now my unhatched emotions are a motherfucker, and i feel like killing all those that i'm resentful at. :X

other than that, i feel sainer than i did a month ago.

plus I weight 180lb!!!

I used to weigh 150lb!!!!!

damn!
 
I fucking hate resentments, anyone experienced drinking over getting pissd at someone.
the "I'll show u" attitude?
 
I feel like drinking now to be completely honest with you. I got into it with someone last night, and had to just back off from the situation. I came back here in my room and caught myself counting my money to see how many beers I could get with this.
I ended up going to the canteen in campus and getting a few chocolate bars. Now my big problem is my self esteem. I feel like everyone here hates me, and booze always made me feel like that I fit in. :/
 
D's said:
3 weeks no drink or drug :D, none not zidda, no weed, no dxm nothing, not even nyquil.

now my unhatched emotions are a motherfucker, and i feel like killing all those that i'm resentful at. :X

other than that, i feel sainer than i did a month ago.

plus I weight 180lb!!!

I used to weigh 150lb!!!!!

damn!
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You can go longer dude, I want to hear 3 years of no drugs and drink. You could do it man, start doing other stuff that are interesting, meet people live life. And dude fuck what people thing. If they don't like u, it's because they are immature and know nothing about the world. Anyone who knows anything about life will love u no matter how u are or what u are, u can be the most demented looking motherfucker but they'll love u for who u are, because they know life and they know the struggles like carries.
 
Lifeandtimes said:
You can go longer dude, I want to hear 3 years of no drugs and drink. You could do it man, start doing other stuff that are interesting, meet people live life. And dude fuck what people thing. If they don't like u, it's because they are immature and know nothing about the world. Anyone who knows anything about life will love u no matter how u are or what u are, u can be the most demented looking motherfucker but they'll love u for who u are, because they know life and they know the struggles like carries.
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Thanks,
I'm currently in rehab for my drinking, and I'm only 21. Its a state funded place and it almost feels as if I'm the only one here that's truly working a program.
I know a lot of people are here getting fucked up, on suboxone and even H and Coke.
Whats sick is there's one syringe floating around this place, so when ever someone gets some drugs they get the syringe, and pass it on the next. We had a class not to long ago about HIV/Hep C, and AIDS. The people that used that syringe (including me my first night here) were all like "I'm good" and that means that they are clean.
I could go on all day about the shit that goes on here. I've been working with my sponsor mostly because my counselor here seems to have no fucking time with me. Shit sucks. I'm clean now at this moment. Going to try to keep it that.
 
D's said:
Thanks,
I'm currently in rehab for my drinking, and I'm only 21. Its a state funded place and it almost feels as if I'm the only one here that's truly working a program.
I know a lot of people are here getting fucked up, on suboxone and even H and Coke.
Whats sick is there's one syringe floating around this place, so when ever someone gets some drugs they get the syringe, and pass it on the next. We had a class not to long ago about HIV/Hep C, and AIDS. The people that used that syringe (including me my first night here) were all like "I'm good" and that means that they are clean.
I could go on all day about the shit that goes on here. I've been working with my sponsor mostly because my counselor here seems to have no fucking time with me. Shit sucks. I'm clean now at this moment. Going to try to keep it that.
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dude please move on in life and forget u ever had an addiction. You have alot to offer to the world. Help the people out in this world with your ability, no drug or high or pleasure has anything on u, believe that. Your a strong man and the world needs at your fullest potential
 
D's said:
Thanks,
I've been working with my sponsor mostly because my counselor here seems to have no fucking time with me. Shit sucks. I'm clean now at this moment. Going to try to keep it that.
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I do not know your counselor and its very true that he/she may not be doing his job. However please keep in mind that social work is pure hell right now. We are so underfunded its not funny. I know many of my clients feel like I ignore them, but the honest to go truth is I have 25 other people to deal with and not enough time.

Anyways keep at it and do what you have gotta do to stay clean. My clean time had a major impact on me and I never let my usage get totally out of control again (did have some major fuckups early on though).

Anyways I have been keeping my limit at 2 beers or less. Not having anything to drink tonight at all tonight. Trying to go totally sober, but may end up taking a hit or two of a blend.

Been hitting the gym really hard lately. Really helps. Thinking about just taking this whole holiday weekend off and staying in and sober.
 
So after tiptoeing around this thread for ages I'm finally going to post, although even the thought of admitting the A-word to myself makes me cringe internally.

I've always been a big (and binge) drinker, since I was around 16. In fact I used to drink more than I do currently - I don't drink daily anymore, I mostly just drink socially. Still, alcohol isn't working out for me anymore. I go on benders over the weekend, do stupid things, have to keep drinking to keep the god-awful rebound anxiety at bay. I did something pretty immoral over the weekend, something I know I would have had the self-discipline not to do whilst sober (even if I wanted to), made a drunken fool of myself around workmates - they all drink as well but somehow I always seem to be the drunken drama queen of the lot. A particularly charming habit I've picked up lately is being a weepy drunk.

I was supposed to work today, my boss knows I was pissed yesterday and I am damn lucky that he is so lenient with me - I've gotten smashed at work a few times too - I work in a bar - and working for anyone else I probably would have been fired a long time ago. It's not like I'm the only person who drinks at work now and again, but still.

So anyway, I'm having a couple of beers now to keep the hangover anxiety at bay, dragging the problem out of course, but after today I really want to be sober for at least a month. Planning on getting my propranolol prescription soon so that'll help the anxiety. I haven't been able to eat more than a tiny sandwich the whole day, I'm sure that's increasing the anxiety.

My main worry is just that once this horrible post-binge depression goes away, I'll wonder what the big deal was and proceed to drink again and do the whole fucking thing over. Every time I do this I feel such incredible self-loathing that I start getting suicidal thoughts (would never do it, but in this state it's a relief to think about it). Also I've got major approval-seeking issues so of course I beat myself up thinking all my friends hate me for my drunken behaviour. I hate letting people down, I want to be the best I can be.

Could really use some comforting words :(

edit: also, when I am drunk I am often stupid enough to do coke if there's any going around, even though I know from experience that it increases my anxiety and depression tenfold.
 
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Been off the grog for 25 days now, but Im really tempted to slip back to the wild side of life. I gotta say without it, life for me seems to have no pleasure and atm I have no motivation to do anything. Im gonna push for 30 days and hope things improve, physically I feel and look so much healthier, just lately I've started to feel so depressed in a constant sober state. Anyway, good luck with everyone else, I have not posted on here much but this thread sure has helped me get through the worst of it
 
glitterbizkit said:
So after tiptoeing around this thread for ages I'm finally going to post, although even the thought of admitting the A-word to myself makes me cringe internally...Could really use some comforting words :(
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hey glitterbizkit! welcome!!

first of all, congrats to you for taking the plunge and posting. it can be scary doing all that honest self examination, let alone admitting your problems to the public, so bravo.

i am also a binge drinker, and for a long time, i let the fact that i didn't drink everyday fool me into thinking that i didn't really have a problem. they say, however, that its not the frequency or amount that you use that necessarily determines there is a problem, but the consequences that are brought about because of your use. it was this that woke me up. i too felt like that girl all the time. i missed work. i worried my friends. my anxiety and depression worsened.

the good news is that as soon i admitted that i needed to change my behavior, and sought advice and support here at BL and elsewhere, i started to get better. the first week was hard, but after that week passed, i felt better and better and better still! there are so many amazing people here with so much support to offer, you are in good hands. :)

good luck to you! check back soon and let us know how you are doing!!
 
Alcohol is a tricky bastard, I'm taking a few days off during the week, but usually I am stuck with the one or two beers on the weeknights. I have noticed this has caused a drop in tolerance so I drink less on the weekends, but I'm feeling stuck. I was never much of a binger, just a maintenance drinker. Since my tolerance has dropped, I'm drinking less but I am still "mainting". I haven't been able to string together a solid 48 hours alcohol free in like two or three weeks. Granted, I have made alot of progress but I feel that it is still slightly effecting me.

Oh well, I'm going to a concert saturday and I am going to put some down. I will try to take it real slow on Friday after I work out.

Still working out, eating healthy, everything like that.

Looking like I'm really going to have to try to take another fully sober week or two again.
 
^ i have realized that having "fully sober" time is really important.

its so easy to pick up habits, whether its two beers or six. so much of the time we do it with out thinking, which may not be so good.

glad you are doing well!
 
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