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Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

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Advice Needed

Basically, I'm wondering what my role is and what things should be done.

My girlfriends mom always drank wine, but it was a glass a night a few times a week.

Over the last year it's turned into a glass everynight, which has turned into 2-3glasses of wine everynight. Sometimes more.


My girlfriend is really worried as her mom gets really angry at her dad and doesn't remember conversations when she's drinking, so she ends up asking my girl the same questions all the time. Her dad has tried to talk to her about it, but I guess she gets somewhat defensive, or says she knows she's drinking alot, but doesn't feel anything needs to be done.

I've talked with my girlfriend a bit on how she should approach her, but she's having a hard time and I know she's really nervous. I've basically told her that whatever she says make she comes off as non-judgmental and supportive. I don't know if that's the best route though?

Now I don't have any first hand experience with alcohol, but I do with addiction. Should I sit down with my girlfriend and her mother at the same time and talk with them? Have a sit down with my girlfriend, the father, and the mother? I feel as if I might be out of place including myself, but it's hard seeing their marriage slowly fall apart and seeing what affect it's having on my girlfriend (she still lives at home with them).


I've been to enough meetings and read enough on here and been through enough to know how things can spiral downward. I'd like to see if I could prevent it for a change. :)



Thanks to anyone who read that and for any suggestions anyone might have! :)
 
I posted this link on how to safely taper alcohol with alcohol toward the end of the last thread.

I can't speak highly enough of the HAMS Network and their harm reduction, label-free approach to problematic drinking. I plan to join their discussion group as well as continue to participate in this thread. Their model is nonjudgmental, the information is free of charge, and get this - they even advocate not posting to their newsgroup and turning off the computer while intoxicated (PWI)! Someone on BL (forget whom) mentioned that computers should have a breathalyzer attached to them. =D

I find that maintaining a sense of humor about my relationship with alcohol (hopefully within the bounds of good taste ;)) is helpful. Problems don't seem so big sometimes when you laugh about them.

The night before last I even consumed sake without overdoing it or becoming moody or sad. I finally see a way out of this. And that way is just using my brain and being kind to myself. I doubt I'll ever be able to go to a scotch tasting again and I'm not much of a barfly (ironically, because I can't stand obnoxious drunk behavior ;)) but it's possible for me and alcohol to be friends provided we respect each other's boundaries. I hope. :)
 
I hate the way alcohol tastes. The only drinks I like are hard cider and some high-end beers. And yet I'm in it just as bad as anybody. Sometimes I think to myself that I'd be dead by now if I liked the taste of alcohol. If I enjoyed taking shots, instead of nearly vomiting even by the thought of them. If I liked wine, and didn't have to plug my nose when I drank it....I honestly don't know how people who both like the effects AND the taste can do it.
 
^^ Definitely consider that a good thing Red!!! You are lucky.
I love the taste of alcohol. A lot. :\
 
Maybe a little triggering but
NSFW:
I love the burning sensation down my esophagus from doing a shot of high proof liquor.
the inhibitor for me is knowing that I could pay the price of a damaged stomach in the immediate future (vommitus hulupulus) and there is hell to pay for the next day or days. I had a strong stomach once, if the strong stomach continued I'd likely be dead by now.
 
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Enki said:
Maybe a little triggering but
NSFW:
I love the burning sensation down my esophagus from doing a shot of high proof liquor.
the inhibitor for me is knowing that I could pay the price of a damaged stomach in the immediate future (vommitus hulupulus) and there is hell to pay for the next day or days. I had a strong stomach once, if the strong stomach continued I'd likely be dead by now.
Click to expand...

That first swig of whiskey esp. after it's been awhile, it warms your stomach then goes up to your brain. Anyway on a more serious note, I can't enjoy the taste of any alcohol anymore, just cheap vodka for me. I have to hide the smell. Drinking has become even more a chore in my current situation, I have a very limited window. I want off this fucking devil gator water, and all other alcohol, but my options are so limited, I fear the only option might be a permeant one.
 
Enki said:
Maybe a little triggering but
NSFW:
I love the burning sensation down my esophagus from doing a shot of high proof liquor.
Click to expand...

^ I cosider that an effect, though, not part of the taste. It's close, though.

NSFW:
I agree about the burning. Eevn though I hate the taste, I love the warming sensation. Especially when it's coupled with the mental high-notes that 1) it will not be coming back up 2) the residual taste has been eliminated. I also sometimes can feel, if I exhale through my nose after drinking a large quantity of liquor at once, I like flames are coming out of my nose in a good way.


n3o, do you actually mean you like the taste of hard liquor too? The guy I used to live with could drink scotch in little sips and let it sit in his mouth a bit before he swallowed. He liked the taste that much. I mean to me, that's insane. I can understand people liking beer and wine like sober drinks, but hard liquor....good god.
 
Ive only had a couple drinks this week Im trying to stop drinking everyday like I was. I got myself addicted to heroin again which sucks but Im in my third day of withdrawl and its not as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

Being sick has kept me away from the bottle as of late but Im gonna try and stay away once I feel better. Ive managed to fuck everything up as far as works related but I really don't care. I'm so tired all the time now I don't even wanna stand up. I lay around all the time like someone with a terminal disease.

I feel like my bodies giving out on me , I need to try and get healthy
 
I just thought I'd bump this thread as I like reading about people's experiences regarding the booze.

I just got back from my 2nd AA meeting this week and I have to say I didn't enjoy it much. I'm putting it down to the fact that I was tired and a bit moody and the sharer was an older guy who I didn't identify much with.

Do any other regular AA'ers feel like this sometimes?

I'm 2½ weeks sober now and looking to smash my previous record (24 days) next week :D
 
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Redleader said:
n3o, do you actually mean you like the taste of hard liquor too? The guy I used to live with could drink scotch in little sips and let it sit in his mouth a bit before he swallowed. He liked the taste that much. I mean to me, that's insane. I can understand people liking beer and wine like sober drinks, but hard liquor....good god.
Click to expand...
I know what you mean kind of. I don't mind the taste of hard alcohol too much (don't really like shots but I can deal with them). I like beer but I hate the bloated feeling so I stick to mixer drinks a lot now.

Sometimes I wish they would make alcohol available in pill form. Skip the drinking stage and just get to the warm feeling.

I'm really glad they haven't done this though :\.
 
:DNice job Laser!!! It's really good to hear that you have gone almost 3 weeks. Thats really great! BTW, hows the public speaking anxiety going? Is it getting easier to participate in group? I can relate with needing to identify with the speaker as it helps tons when you are on the same level and really understand the situation they are in. Hang in there though, it is different every time and im sure there will be speakers that you can relate to. ;)
 
LaserHosen said:
I just thought I'd bump this thread as I like reading about people's experiences regarding the booze.

I just got back from my 2nd AA meeting this week and I have to say I didn't enjoy it much. I'm putting it down to the fact that I was tired and a bit moody and the sharer was an older guy who I didn't identify much with.

Do any other regular AA'ers feel like this sometimes?

I'm 2½ weeks sober now and looking to smash my previous record (24 days) next week :D
Click to expand...

LH, congrats on nearly 3 weeks without a drink! I am an alcoholic (addict, too, for that matter), and I've been sober/clean a couple of years now. I was a daily drinker and user - my days consisted of half a pint of whiskey and 4 or 5 pills (opiates) when I first got up to stop the w/d, stopping at the liquor store on the way to work, drinking and using more pills throughout the day at the office, driving home and drinking/popping pills until I would pass out (I called it sleeping at the time). I'd get up and do it all again the next day, and I would hate myself every minute of it. Eventually, I lost everything ... job, home, marriage, filed bankruptcy, etc. I just could not stop on my own.

Now, I attend meetings regularly, average 5 or so a week. My life is very different. When I first got sober, I went to one or more meetings a day, and it helped me tremendously, especially being around people who knew what I was going through. There are still meetings that I don't like, per se, but I usually hear something I need to hear, especially in the meetings I dislike.

Hang in there - you don't have to do it by yourself. I remember that was such a revelation to me at the time, but it's so true.

PS - feel free to PM me if you like, too, I'm happy to share more or just listen if that will help.
 
vonchampz said:
:DNice job Laser!!! ...

BTW, hows the public speaking anxiety going? Is it getting easier to participate in group?
Click to expand...

Thankz vonchampz. I had a look at the Toastmasters public speaking site and their next meeting is in my area this coming Tuesday/Wednesday, so I'm gonna fire an email off to them. I've got 3 weeks off work starting next week so plenty time to look into that.

Thanks for the support tobchaser. I could clearly see myself going down a similar route to yours if I hadn't done something about it. I also think I've put a serious dent in my self-confidence by using all those years. To the point where I was feeling useless and no point in living.

On a brighter note, most of those feelings have cleared up the last few days. I've switched junk for salads, cereals and whey protein. I've also been doing 1 or 2 lots of exercise a day. I weighed myself yesterday and I'd went from 210 lb to 204 lb.

I'd carried off being a bit overweight as I'm 6 foot and quite broad shouldered, but it'll be quality to see a six-pack where the beer belly once was. I aim to get down to about 182 lb.

I got off work early to do a meeting this afternoon and in a couple of hours I'm off swimming, then another meeting tonight.

It's all good, but I'm at a point now where self-discipline is the key thing so that I don't pick up a drink.
 
Feeling much better physically now , dope sickness is pretty much gone

I'm going to a concert tonight I'm gonna try not to get to smashed
Click to expand...

Hey CC do you notice increased alcohol cravings when your off opiates? It happens to me just about everytime i go off morphine. As a rule i don't crave alcohol often when im on morphine (though i did earlier this year :| ) but when i go off the cravings come back with a vengence. Ive known other alcoholic junkies who have said it happens to them as well.

I havent had so much as a sip of alcohol since i poured that beer down the sink over a month ago :) . I think this time i may actually have a shot at quitting again because im pretty sure im turned from the shit.

Good luck on staying off the booze and junk man.
 
Everytime I quit dope I go back to drinking alcoholically

I think I just crave the downers in my life I need them to be at peace

I just took a few shots of brandy and am drinking a strawberry daiquri

And it aint even noon , It's cause I aint shootin dope Im kinda stressing

But the liqour put me at ease , Im just a basket case I guess
 
Your not a basketcase anymore then i am. My idea of breakfast used to be a 6 pack of beer alot of times. Or if i hadent slept the night before a mickey of whiskey.

I crave downers too and ive always been a downer freak. I don't get anxiety or much of it coming off opiates since i get prescribed clonazepam everyday for anxiety but it doesent get me high like alcohol does. It just calms me down.

Have you ever tried gabapentin or lyrica? I find they help the alcohol cravings a little bit. Gabapentin is supposed to be complete shit for acute alcohol withdrawals though or so ive heard. I get gabapentin prescribed for neuropathic pain (i only get lyrica sometimes through samples cause it costs a fortune :! ) and if i take higher doses then im prescribed it helps cut the alcohol cravings abit.
 
never tried gabapentin or lyrica

maybe I'll give those a shot before going on a benzo

I have some serious anxiety issues , I wont leave the house really unless Im damn near sedated

I wish I didn't rely on drugs so much buts its just the lifestyle I've grown into

I think the heavy psychedelic use has turned me into an introvert of sorts as well
 
^^Yeah I feel the same way CC. Whenever I come off of benzos/opiates my drinking starts up again, like I'm just replacing one downer with another. I guess the key is to try and live a somewhat stable life (psychologically/emotionally/physically) without either of the downers... Easily said than done though.... :\ 8)
 
Today's my three week point without a drop of alcohol.

My mornings are 100x better than they used to be: the feelings of utter shit, unworthiness, depression and guilt are gone and I'm waking up at 7am raring to go.

I just went to brush my teeth in the mirror and, due to my recent healthy eating and exercise, I can now see my upper stomach muscles starting to show through where once a layer of beer-belly resided. WooHoo!

^don't drink alcoholically people, and everything starts to get better.
 
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