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alcoholism thread [merged]

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Son of a bitch.

Suicidal thoughts run trough me ... I want to die.

I am now sober. So I just eat my porridge and hope that thing would sometimes be better. I am very afraid to go out, because I fear that somebody recognises me and points a finger - there goes that idiot
 
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Spurs_1882 said:
But I like to keep benzos on hand for those times when I'm not drinking and everyone else is, just in case I get anxious. Even then it's a fucker refusing a drink, but it gets easier the more you do it. The problem is, you can say no but you can't mean it. To me, it feels like a fundamental denial of...some part of myself to refuse a drink when I am craving one.
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That's exactly how I feel.
I love drinking. I love beer. But sometimes I get into the mood that I need to quit. When I get in these moods, I can sometimes turn down the first drink, but the second and third? Why am I even in a place around alcohol if I can't drink it?

I think that you are right. I can't wait for the beer, even when I don't want it.

I believe I'll see a psych and see if I can't get some xanax.
 
Ugh :( that's all I want to say about it - oh & why the fuck do I keep doing it? :!
 
BlackOut said:
23 days into one month of sobriety.
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Well done mate!!! That is awesome!
Stay strong!!
What are the physical/mental effects you have noticed now that you've not been drinking for over 3 weeks? Do you feel healthier? More sharp-minded?
 
Well, my drinking has been under control for a year now, so one month really isn't that much. Some much needed focus in my life simply made it necessary that I kept away from drinking for at least a month.

But I remember when I cut down to only drinking every 2 weeks; the effects were amazing, like a cloud suddenly dissipated around me. The constant anxiety went away, which was probably the best thing about stopping.

Oh, and another thing: Drinking makes me slow and stupid, so after maybe one month of not drinking, my mind was at its fastest it's ever been. It was a nice feeling, being able to solve intellectual problems again, after feeling dumb for quite a while :)
 
Well here we go. I got out of hospital yesterday, for a seperate issue, but was kept in for 6 days whioslt they detoxed me.

They couldnt even begin to treat the initial problem until they had dealt with my withdrawal which was the most violent yet.

I tend to be a heavy dependant drinker, but then I will have these leaving las vegas moments and just go all out to oblivion on catastrophic benders; this last one being the worst ever. So a usual week would be 2 bottles of wine (18 units) a day. By the 10th day of this particular bender I was on 5 and a half bottles of wine a day (60 units).

Usually when I have been detoxed before, its been 20mg librium every 4 hours. This time They had given me 140mg in the space of 5 hours with hardly any discernable rduction in symptoms before they started supllementing with diazepam too, which just took me down to quite violent shakes. Weirdly despite 5 years of this my liver function is better than your average Joe's.

I got out yesterday and went to the only hop I buy from and asked him never to sell me alcohol again. I bought cranberry juice and tonic water and mixed them and drank in a wine glass for a drink with bite. It fel good walking back from the shop without guilt.

Im going to the gym later to try and get some endorphins and then try and get my bills and my room in order. Then line up my stack of b vits, thimaine, zinc and piracetam.

Then Im going out for a meal with my father to celebrate my birthday. Im lucky in that my birthday, which would b a fine excuse, has fallen close enough to the horror that I wont really be tested.

Its not going to be easy but nothing ever is. I have been here before, but I hope something has changed.
 
I have so terrible anxiety.

It is friday afternoon here and I have some urges.
 
I drink way too much but i am a recovering heroin addict and im worried if i quit drinking well who knows what could happen....

im only drinking about 6 beers per day, 15 some days and other times i've managed to stay at one or two large beers with the help of weed and maybe pills...

i have terrible anxiety and when i dont drink i feel like im going out of my mind :\
 
pkt said:
I drink way too much but i am a recovering heroin addict and im worried if i quit drinking well who knows what could happen....

im only drinking about 6 beers per day, 15 some days and other times i've managed to stay at one or two large beers with the help of weed and maybe pills...

i have terrible anxiety and when i dont drink i feel like im going out of my mind :\
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Alcohol addiction is just as destructive as heroin addiction.

I am going to grocery store soon...
 
Alcohol addiction is just as destructive as heroin addiction.
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If you have a legit source of heroin then I'd say alcohol is more destructive - by a country mile.
 
Oh fuck I feel so sick. My BAC is lowering ...

I didn't even plan to drink alcohol yesterday.
 
This is the day after.

I was a bit worried about my shakiness and tremors , when I got out of bed, so I experienced a mild panic attack. But that passed now, and I am drinking water to dehydrate my body.
 
When I stopped, my shakes were more like convulsions and I couldn't even hold down water.

You're doing good, Mike!
 
Yeah thanks, AG

ok, who is with me, let's stay without alcohol for some time.
 
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