Then my sponsor told me something. He said "normal people don't wake up the next day thinking, oh fuck, what happened last night? did I do this to this person, did I say this to that person?. You have a disease. Its alcoholism. Its just like diabetes, in that diabetic people can't process sugar like regular people can. Well, we our body's can't process alcohol like normal people's can."
Those words had such an impact on me, because he's right. If I was normal, if I could control my drinking, I wouldn't be going to AA, I wouldn't have a sponsor, I wouldn't have 2 duis, and I wouldn't be looking on the internet for others like me. So, just something to think about.
Too true... I can relate to that statement all too well.
I have been good recently, drank a bit of friday and had 5-6 on saturday. That is fine with me. No physical withdrawl, its only when I push it hard for a few days that I feel anxiety.
The real test is going to be in four days when I'm headed to Mexico to an all inclusive for spring break. All inclusive meaning I can drink 24/7 for a week for free since it is already paid for. Going to be an absolute blast but I really don't want to embarass myself in front of my 18 year old sister and her friend. Everyone will be partying hard, but the last thing I want to do is drink a shitload of tequila and go wondering the streets of Mexico searching for cocaine.
Could easily happen, as when I have had too much I think of two things, women and cocaine.