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alcoholism thread [merged]

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D-W - can you visit your boyfriend while his in detox? If not just know his doing this not only for himself but you as well <3 these 4 weeks will fly by!

n3ophy7e said:
I agree DW, it's crazy how cheap and easy to obtain alcohol is 8) I'll never understand.

Please pass on to Paul that I wish him the best of luck in detox :) He's very lucky to have the support of such a beautiful caring woman <3


I'm thinking of trying naltrexone again...so is my partner (he hasn't tried it before). It didn't really work for me last time, I just kept drinking without getting the euphoria.
I'm not even trying to not drink anymore 8) Fucking weak as piss.
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You always seem to say exactly the words in my head when i look into this thread honey.

I'm starting to put alcohol before food now i have no job and that is just fucked but it seems to make perfectly logical sense every time...... :\
 
AfterGlow said:
now 36. then 37. But don't get ahead of yourself yet. Just deal with #35.
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Ha ha ha.......I think I was looking for a different response.........,but I guess that will work for now, think I will go for another month with my break and see if I want to drink after that, we'll see what happens:\
 
Redleader said:
I posted about a month ago about wanting to make it 100 hours without drinking. To me, it seemed like a monumental task, and though I never followed up in this tread on it, I failed around the 80 hour mark after giving into the WDs and a demand to get more than an hour of sleep at once.

Then I went on this crazy little journey around the world (not kidding, 4 continents, 6 countries in 3 weeks 8o ) and of course that was alcohol fueled. But I was always on the move, and didn't really have enough time to stand still long enough to get caught up in a battle with my own disease. I will say, though...Chinese palm wine => yes.

Anyway, I am currently visiting my mother (who I have not seen in close to 2 years, as we have been living in different hemispheres) and I will not drink as long as I am here. To give a brief backstory, my mother had the misfortunte of being drugged and dateraped ON HER VERY FIRST ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE at 19. So she understandably has a huge thing against alcohol and I will NOT disrespect her by drinking in her home, or being intoxicated inside of it either. I know that I am a scoundral in many ways, but this is one huge step in trying to redeem myself for all of the dumb stuff I've done.

It's day 10 today! I'm way past any physical WDs, and my mind is definately feeling very clear and focused. I've been to a gym for the past 6 days straight, and I am now eating and sleeping much better too. I still am feeling some lingering effects from also being addicted to amphetamines (nerve damage, brain shocks, anxiety, etc.) but it's slowly getting better. I am getting blood and urine work done next week for health insurance (which does seema bit overkill, but whatever...), and it's going to actually be pretty cool not having to worry about anything showing up.

I am doing a few month stint in America, and I am very tempted by the concept of $1.49 for "forties." Maybe at a future date, but as for now I'm doin' good. I hope everyone else is too. Seriously, I know everybody says this, but everyone in the alcoholism thread....If I can do it, you can to.
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Yea I remember your story mate. I remember feeling bad as you sounded like you were in a lot of pain. Congratulations. :)

Happy for you.
 
Redleader said:
It's day 10 today! I'm way past any physical WDs, and my mind is definately feeling very clear and focused. I've been to a gym for the past 6 days straight, and I am now eating and sleeping much better too.

Seriously, I know everybody says this, but everyone in the alcoholism thread....If I can do it, you can to.
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Wow Redleader, your story is so inspiring to me (and many others I am sure!). I am so proud of you man!!! Keep up the good work <3
 
I think today is the day that it finally kickd in that I may abe addicted to alcohol. I knew it for a long time, but to day is when it finally was appaernt.

I have no intention of stopping though, although I 'm not even supposed to be drinking.

I wish I had some other thing to keep me occuprid besides alcohol. I've traded opiates for it. Sometimes I wish it was easier for me to go back to H.
 
mariposa - i believe it was u who asked if anyone had experience with antabuse?
paul takes it wen hes craving or if were going to b around ppl who r drinking
i think its a really effective drug
he said the sickness caused by drinking on it is so awful hed never b brave enough to face it again

thanks all to ur well wishes to paul - he is touched by the fact that a forum of ppl who dont know him care so much and is considering joining BL!
yes, i get to see him evry night - just on my way there now - plus he comes home weekends
keep on trucking evryone
ur worth it!
 
Alcohol addiction creeps up on you. It's not like most other addictions. Because your use is not interwoven with illegal dealing, it dosen't quite feel the same.

What helped me most in getting sober (and I again must emphasize that I was terrified of quitting):

1) Wake up earlier than you are used to. Like a lot of others, my desire often was to drink myself to sleep, as sleeping has always been an issue for me. I got very used to boozing it up around 10pm, in hopes to be passed out by 1 or so. If I tried to stay sober for a night, I'd get all antsy and intimidated come 10. But I found that if I forced myself to wake up 2-3 hours earlier than I am used to, 10pm actually felt quite later than usual.

2) Do not drink caffeine. This is very important. Some people might think that getting jacked up in the morning will help one fall asleep easier at that night, but when you're trying to quit the booze, caffeine just adds anxiety and physical discomfort to the situation.

3) Stay strong once the WDs are over. Too many times, I have made it 4-5 days sober, passed the point of physical WDs, and then took an attitude of "I can do four days - I just did. So why not have a drink, if I know that I can make it through again if I need to." This is just dumb thinking.

4) Hang out with sober people, but not necessarily AA types. For me, I spent a lot of time with my sister and her boyfriend, two people who do not drink at all. Seriously, going bowling with sober people really does feel like way more genuine fun than going clubbing and getting messed up.

5) Do things to feel better about yourself. Quitting sucks and you'll feel very depressed and self-loathing those first few days. For me, I found that watching the news a lot, reading a lot of Wikipedia, doing a lot of freewriting, etc. all helped me to feel like I was being productive and doing good things for my mind.
 
^ Thanks Redleader <3

Number 5 rings true for me, i think that is one of the major reasons i drink, as i feel i have nothing more productive to do with my time.

Waking up early is a hard but necessary step to.

I haven't been able to last 2 days sober since i started drinking but because i have no money, i am now forced to. It's scary. I have an hour and a half meeting on Monday to assess where i'm at and what help i need. It's the first time i would be speaking to someone frankly about my drinking as a problem. Up until now, it's just been light. I probably would have not even realised it was a problem if it wasn't for me blacking out around my boyfriend and best friend. Mostly i drink by myself but if i'm with my boyfriend he says i become abusive (something my mum says "runs in the family") and with my best friend i kept falling over and becoming scared of something that wasn't there. It's completely wacked. I never remember any of it either. I think it has something to do with my antidepressants.

Hope to post in here with thoughts and tips from hindsight soon though :)
 
Blackouts are always a scary thing to go through. The guilt thats associated with blacking out is monumental as well. Having somebody TELL you what you did the night before, or simply not remembering how you got home, what time you went to bed, its just unsettling and emotionally wrenching.

Then my sponsor told me something. He said "normal people don't wake up the next day thinking, oh fuck, what happened last night? did I do this to this person, did I say this to that person?. You have a disease. Its alcoholism. Its just like diabetes, in that diabetic people can't process sugar like regular people can. Well, we our body's can't process alcohol like normal people's can."

Those words had such an impact on me, because he's right. If I was normal, if I could control my drinking, I wouldn't be going to AA, I wouldn't have a sponsor, I wouldn't have 2 duis, and I wouldn't be looking on the internet for others like me. So, just something to think about.
 
some gd ideas, redleader - i think pauls passed the stage of where ud b at wen taking that advice but ill show it to him anyway
i worry about his caffeine intake anyway - hes such a nervous person anyway (he has PTSD and GAD) and he drinks coffee like evry hr plus a lot of V
surely hed still b getting some anxiety from PAWS at a month clean too? id like to show him that caffeine one!
he gets a lot out of AA too
 
Still doing pretty good, I actually had a few saturday and yesterday. Nothing crazy. Still hitting up the gym often. Eating much better. I've also quit all forms of nicotine intake.
 
Damn i wanna get drunk. It just hit's me all of a sudden especially now that im abit stressed out. Granted it would not be a good idea with the mental state ive been in lately.
 
^^ Congrats relax! That is awesome and you should be very proud :)
Keep up the good work <3
 
a LOT, youd have to have a continuos stream, you liver is pretty resilient also. serosis happens to fairly young people though, it takes a lot again, unless you liver is week in the first place. id say drink 2-3 bottles of liquor a day for 5 years... that should do it.

but, i think i messed up my kidneys on my last run, or so recent blood work i had done suggests.

*side note: there's some nicholas cage movie where he drinks him self to death intentionally, cant remember the name, in fact i had forgot about it 'till now.
 
panic in paradise said:
*side note: there's some nicholas cage movie where he drinks him self to death intentionally, cant remember the name, in fact i had forgot about it 'till now.
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Leaving Las Vegas

I've never seen it tho!

I've felt the strong urge lately too .. My alchy roomie was supposed to GTFO today, but then he decided he doesn't want to couch surf (or live with any of his extensive family apparently) so he's not going to leave my house.
Luckily I'm still too depressed to drink. I'd rather die quickly or not at all, and since I'm paying for his utilities/damage, no booze $ anyhow.
 
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