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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 7.0

nuttynutskin said:
Yeah, for me being around a bunch of people talking about drinking I think would make me want to drink more honestly.
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I've been told by alcoholics that have been to AA or even non 12 step sobriety groups, and did not like it that this was a major complaint of theirs about 12 step and non 12 step groups.
 
Hey guys, finally got released from hospital today. Thank God that the librium detox worked, no more devils or voices. That was one of the scariest experiences of my chemical induced life, and I've had a few. At one point during the detox I ended up telling the Dr that he'd definitley misdiagnosed me and that I was clearly fully schizophrenic. Words can't describe how nice it is to be back in my apartment, without seeing demons gyrating up the walls and beaming thoughts directly into my head. If anyone's actually interested I've written a short account of exactly how it felt during the most schizophrenic part of the withdrawl. Drs said I'd have defo died if I hadn't checked in the day I did. Cheers for all the help anyway,
 
/\ Wow, sounds like a very close call. Glad you're doing ok now. I'd be interested in reading your account of what it felt like. Did you post it on here?

Besides a few bumps in the road my sobriety's been going pretty going so far.
 
I'm doing fine now thanks. Here's a brief description of my Librium detox in hospital. As I've previously stated I spent five days alone in my flat hearing voices etc, at night when the lights went off, my room became over run with demonic entities and the human spirits, the demons sat perched in the upper corners of the ceiling while the ex human spirits surrounded my bed and goaded me, offering me drinks etc and just downright mocking me. Then continued to contort and crawl in the crab position up the walls. Cliche I know but really horror film kind of stuff. At one point I saw an old man in a crucifix position slowly drift across my ceiling and hovered above my bed. Bare in mind I am experienced with hallucinogenics and have previously taken Ayahuasca. This was 1000 times more real. To the point that I genuinally believe I was seeing actual entities.......Anyway, this lasted for five days before I eventually decided to go to the hospital............Now for the librium detox. Day 6 without a drink and librium round the clock, still hallucinating although no visual demons, just an inccesant whispering in my ear that would not stop. It was like full on Schizophrenia, which I repeatedly asked the Dr if he was certain that I was not in fact suffering from. I kept wondering why the nurses outside were playing a cd consisting of the exact same songs that were in my mind, every time I thought of a song it would seemingly start playing from what I genuinally thought was a speaker in the ceiling, I was frantically looking behind me to see where the fuck this endless, dark playlist was coming from and at one point started trying to to turn my machine off just to shut the noise up. I eventually realised that the soundtrack was coming from within my own head, but it was as real as if a stereo was playing in another room. Then I began to be taunted by a voice in my own head, I could be having a full blown conversation with a nurse and a completly different one was occuring simultaneously inside my own mind, but as loud, coherent and clear as if it was someone else's. It was indistinguishable from reality. Every song/ thought/ words I thought of would immediatley begin emanating from all corners of the room, before taking on it's own agenda and talking back to me. Working it's way into my mind until I no longer had my own thoughts. Literally like a horror film where a demon's driving the housewife slowly insane and no one else can hear it. I did at one point completly break down, rolling around my bed virtually crushing my ears in order to block out any sound and rule out external factors, before eventually screaming the ominous words. "SHUT UP." Once it had broken me, the sound of Satanic music began bellowing out of the clock on the wall, amping up and up and up as it pushed me further towards permanant madness. I look around and no one else is reacting, it got louder and louder until I physically started to vibrate inside. At this point I was genuinally looking around for a sharp object to insert into my head. However thankfully it was nearly time for my next dose of librium which did end the misery. This lasted days........That's a very vague account but it was one of the scariest experiences of my life, the thought of an eternity stuck in that madness
 
The mad things is, I wrote some incredible songs down in the hospital while I was at the peak of the schizophrenia. If only I could recall the beat I'd have a number one album. At times I felt like Mozart, the rest I felt like a psychiatric patient.
 
The mad things is, I wrote some incredible songs down in the hospital while I was at the peak of the schizophrenia. If only I could recall the beat I'd have a number one album. At times I felt like Mozart, the rest I felt like a psychiatric patient.

However, as the folk song goes........."If we drink we will die, if we don't drink we will die."
 
It was. On this particular bender I know that it was at the very least 4 bottles of Red wine a day, with the odd bottle of vodka thrown in. But now that I've been speaking to a few friends, they told me It was more like a month rather than two and a half weeks. Just been for my daily check in and breathalysing and they told me in no uncertain terms that I would have had a more or less guaranteed fatal seizure had I not come into hospital the day I did.
 
Dam dude, thats heavy shit!! Glad you made it thru. Ive had some really bad one and one night they had to shock me but nothing ever like that. Glad youre here with us!
 
Anyone experienced long term lack of sex drive/ depersonalization even months after a drink. I got my testosterone results back which were fine....Just no interest except on my own......Don't know what the fuck's going on, I'm only 31
 
I have. Started when i was 30 cause of the alcoholic drinking. When i got sober it took a good while for it to return. It sucks. Im in same boat now with my pain meds. Opiates crush your testosterone. But from a recent attempt to get off them i learned i need them very much bc my pain is unbearable. Anyway, yeah dude, i had no drive when i was drinking
 
Alcatrazadone said:
Anyone experienced long term lack of sex drive/ depersonalization even months after a drink. I got my testosterone results back which were fine....Just no interest except on my own......Don't know what the fuck's going on, I'm only 31
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It's most likely anhedonia and something that's pretty common for people getting off the booze from what I've read.
 
Hey nutty. How ya doin? Still sober? Havent hears from you for awhile. Been thinking about you. If youve made it this far the shit is just in your head cause your body has healed. I really hope youre doing ok. One day after another man. Take care
 
I'm currently in south America, just completed my Ayahuasca retreat and got straight back on the drink, but not in the morning. Wonder how long that will work for. There's temptation of every kind hre and I'm succumbing to most. But to be honest, as lo g as I don't spend 7 days with demons in my room tryi g to kill me I don't care.
 
I did 10 years of heavy drinking. My motto was always that I detox'd every morning. Never drink in the morning- own your hangover and get back to normal before you get drunk again.
The best plan is to not drink..... But when that didn' work, I set a time in the afternoon and NEVER drank before that time even on Sundays.
 
Not the worst idea in the world Squeaky, as I can definitely say my life dramatically improved upon limiting myself to imbibing and getting blazed until after 5pm and finishing my work. Best advice my dad ever gave me ;)
 
The worst thing you can do with alcohol is be drunk ALL of the time. Anything you can do to stop that from happening has to be a step in the right direction.
Also, life sucks being addicted..... to anything. But it sucks a lot more when you lose your license or get fired because of drinking. I would get off of work, run any errands where I had to drive, then go home and get wasted every night. My wife got sick of me passing out, but that was easier to forgive than the money problems that come with a DUI or unemployment or the bad stuff that happens when you're out drinking with the guys.
 
Squeaky said:
The worst thing you can do with alcohol is be drunk ALL of the time. Anything you can do to stop that from happening has to be a step in the right direction.
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I wholeheartedly agree. Progress, not perfection.

It can't hurt to quit completely though, but it's not required for recovery or for positive change; cutting back a little or a lot can be a great step in the right direction.
 
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