• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 7.0

This week im doing ok, other than just being kinda isolated. I don't think I've talked to anyone that's not twice my age in a couple months and i know this sounds stupid but my cats been missing for afew days and im pretty worried. I really have no friends i talk to. Though im still mad at her its probably for the best my sister took my half gallon of vodka
 
I have a weird question, is it considered a relapse when you take a drink after a period of forced sobriety
 
I'm new to the group, so please forgive me if I post something incorrectly.
I'm coming up on 9 years sober. I was a hopeless drunk from age 19-23. I'm so grateful to be alive.
I just want to be a part of this community and help/listen/talk...whatever it be!
I understand the struggle, and still battle with it...everyone around me drinks, it's incredible...and not just a glass of wine either...it is always to excess. This includes my own boyfriend.
My mother has permanent, debilitating brain damage from a cardiac arrest due to alcohol abuse. She stays at home all day, hardly can get dressed...just watches TV all day.
It's truly terrifying seeing what my future could be.
 
Totally sober today after my 2 day taper. I thought I would feel better but I actually feel horrible and depressed as hell. I think I should've tapered longer but I have no way to get anything so I'm basically stuck detoxing at my house.
 
My, my slow descent ...

I've been drinking in the morning and at work more lately, and this scares the shit out of me, as the consequences if I were caught could get really bad. When I do, bring a few "airplane bottles" (or nips, 50mL) of vodka, and nurse one, with iced tea, soda, etc. every 2 hours or so. This is enough to provide a more or less steady state BAC during waking hours so as to stave off hangover, anxiety, and tremors. I try and fool myself into believing nobody can tell or smell it but that's probably bullshit. I think I'm getting closer to the point where I need some sort of intervention, whether that's finding the willpower to a do an honest taper or heading into inpatient detox, which is complicated by the fact that I'm also prescribed benzodiazepines. Bad news. And I should know damn better as I work in the field. But that and all the intellectual knowledge in the world or even my experience with my alcoholic friends and family, doesn't really matter when confronting the dog inside the man.

I truly wonder often if I was better off on opiates and a whole other pharmacopoeia of illicit drugs. I held things together a bit better to be perfectly honest.

I might even try to hit an AA meeting and I'm adamantly opposed to their whole paradigm. I feel as if I'm headed to a dark place with alcohol, even if some other parts of my life are OK. At work and such I am the picture of a functioning alcoholic, but at home I'm wasted all the time, my apartment is a wreck and I can barely get out of bed except to go to work or to drink, I waste most of my time fucking about on the Internet, watching movies, etc. and pretty much the only thing I have going for me is my work, which I really enjoy, and I just cannot allow that to get fucked up by booze. I'm going to try to exercise willpower going forward, but we all know that addiction, if it is a disease at all, I don't really think it is, it's a disease, or a derangement, of the will, or of one's priorities, the derangement of having the audacity to put booze before health and human obligations and relationships. Just wanted to share. My prayers and thoughts are with all of you and I'd ask you for your own for me,
 
Last edited:
glitter_kiss said:
This week im doing ok, other than just being kinda isolated. I don't think I've talked to anyone that's not twice my age in a couple months and i know this sounds stupid but my cats been missing for afew days and im pretty worried. I really have no friends i talk to. Though im still mad at her its probably for the best my sister took my half gallon of vodka
Click to expand...

you can always PM me :)
 
SKL said:
...
Click to expand...

Good luck man... I see you're also prescribed benzos too so I totally know what you mean when you say it complicates things. It basically makes the benzo taper for alcohol impossible. I used to think it was great but now I think half of the reason my drinking took off in the first place was because of the lack of inhibition my xanax gave me. Now since I've been on it so long I pretty much have to take my xanax to avoid a possible seizure or at the very least going into benzo withdrawals and feeling like shit for a very long time. Multiple addictions really suck and despite what I used to believe I now see that alcohol and benzos are pretty much the worst.
 
Last edited:
How bad is it when you're not hungry until you have a beer first? I've never experienced that sort of thing before or understand it. Have any of you experienced that? I think I may have to prolong this taper with 2 beers every day for a week or so just so I can start getting some food back in me and taking care of myself.
 
^ I definitely have experienced that. You set out with a certain amount of just feeling out of it, or even proper nausea, and then a unit of alcohol more orless settles you and you can eat your breakfast or whatever meal. You are probably accustomed to getting the great majority of your daily calories for booze, especially if you are primarily a beer drinker. Indeed you may have to prolong your taper but also eating nutritious food or at the very least dietary supplements is essential,remember that in the hospital or the detox for alcoholics you will get a "banana bag," ie. IV vitamins & nutrients. If you can at the very least start providing yourself with some of the same (I try to do this) you will probably have a lot less grief whe nyou try to taper down.

God bless,my prayers arew ithyou, SKL
 
SKL said:
^ I definitely have experienced that. You set out with a certain amount of just feeling out of it, or even proper nausea, and then a unit of alcohol more orless settles you and you can eat your breakfast or whatever meal. You are probably accustomed to getting the great majority of your daily calories for booze, especially if you are primarily a beer drinker.
Click to expand...

It really just depends whether I'm on or off the wagon. If I'm doing pretty good as far as not drinking then probably pretty obviously my diet is good. But during a binge I pretty much just forget to even eat and just eat whatever's laying around or what someone cooks. As far as beer I just recently started drinking it because I couldn't handle the hard stuff anymore and thought it would be no big deal, but one thing leads to another and I'm back to drinking my real poisons of choice vodka and red wine for days at a time.

SKL said:
Indeed you may have to prolong your taper but also eating nutritious food or at the very least dietary supplements is essential,remember that in the hospital or the detox for alcoholics you will get a "banana bag," ie. IV vitamins & nutrients. If you can at the very least start providing yourself with some of the same (I try to do this) you will probably have a lot less grief whe nyou try to taper down.
Click to expand...

Yeah I've gone back on my vitamins and was drinking water and Gatorade today. Foodwise was just a protein shake, apple, avocado, cheese and crackers.

SKL said:
God bless,my prayers arew ithyou, SKL
Click to expand...

Thanks man and the same to you and everyone else going through it. It definitely helps to know you're not the only one battling.
 
Gave up dope in July and now, I unless I'm working, I'm always drunk. Can't seem to be able to find the balance. I swore to myself that these days off would be different. We'll see...
Glad I found this thread again.
 
Well done man. I'm the same spirits are just bad news for me and most others I know who still drink them.
 
Well the taper idea didn't work, just ended up prolonging my symptoms and felt like I was withdrawaling again today so I had to drink a tallboy just keep from losing my mind and stop shaking. I think the only way I'm gonna do this is have a family member give me a beer or two a day for a while. If I try to do it I just end up drinking more than I need to. Any sort of detox center is pretty much out because I don't have the money and I'm already on xanax.
 
nuttynutskin said:
Well the taper idea didn't work, just ended up prolonging my symptoms and felt like I was withdrawaling again today so I had to drink a tallboy just keep from losing my mind and stop shaking. I think the only way I'm gonna do this is have a family member give me a beer or two a day for a while. If I try to do it I just end up drinking more than I need to. Any sort of detox center is pretty much out because I don't have the money and I'm already on xanax.
Click to expand...

Can you go to a state run detox center that takes people for free? Detoxing from alcohol on your own can be extremely dangerous. Stay safe.
 
I'm detoxed now. Thanks for the concern tho. One thing I think I may have learned is that I have a pattern of getting bad off and then when I start feeling ok again I tend to forget about it. Having a bad memory doesn't exactly help lol.
 
OK Good I'm glad you detoxed successfully and safely.

I had a dream where I got drunk on only 3 beers today but in the dream I was going from bar to bar like I used to do, and looking at the alcohol content of the beers and wanting low ones and still getting drunk from them. I do not plan on drinking at all but I'm not sure why out of nowhere 3+ years after I have stopped drinking I still sometimes have random dreams about alcohol and drinking?
 
I should have actually clarified, I detoxed and tapered down at the same time. Because this last binge I came off I tried to go cold turkey like I normally would but came the closest to actual DT's I think I've ever experienced. Kind of scary... I basically had to drink a couple beers for a few days to avoid going out of my mind. It did work pretty well tho. I believe people can taper down and detox themselves, but of course need to be careful about it. It helps if you have family to keep you in check or even give you your allotted alcohol for that day so you don't end up drinking more.
 
Well... On the wagon since last week. I was hoping that I would be a little more productive when I'm sober but nooo... Lol! Still stuck in malaise. Eh, maybe it's just an initial "phase" in.
...Been here before. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top