Day 3 of no drinking. Had gone on yet another bender last weekend and ended up causing a lot of strife to different individuals, most importantly my SO. Lost my car keys, pissed off others, and was generally incapacitated. Some other alcoholic accused me of being an alcoholic, and somehow it was a turning point for me. Had to go to an AA meeting as part of a homework assignment the day after, still completely hungover and in shame, and realized that I probably really just need to stop. I have had so many blackouts the past six months, all under the pretense of having a good time out dancing. People at the meeting were very welcoming but I was feeling too shameful and shy to share any stories. A woman passed around the schedule book and got at least six people to write down their numbers, and she urged me to not hesitate to contact any of them...but I don't know if I will.
Woke up feeling really depressed and irritable today, BF couldn't understand, and then he told my 5 yo son that I was in withdrawal, which I didn't appreciate. Child repeats EVERYTHING so he doesn't need to be telling kids at the daycare that I am in withdrawal! Went to Super Supplements and got some Kava Kava, so I am feeling better now. Planning on going to yoga later.
Just feeling the need to be a more serious student, a better mother, a better girlfriend. Going on benders and having blackouts does no good for any of those things. Did a three month break from drinking last year, and felt really good, but when I start drinking again, it was with a vengeance. (Hence the repeated blackouts) At least some of the shame from the weekend has dissapated.
Woke up feeling really depressed and irritable today, BF couldn't understand, and then he told my 5 yo son that I was in withdrawal, which I didn't appreciate. Child repeats EVERYTHING so he doesn't need to be telling kids at the daycare that I am in withdrawal! Went to Super Supplements and got some Kava Kava, so I am feeling better now. Planning on going to yoga later.
Just feeling the need to be a more serious student, a better mother, a better girlfriend. Going on benders and having blackouts does no good for any of those things. Did a three month break from drinking last year, and felt really good, but when I start drinking again, it was with a vengeance. (Hence the repeated blackouts) At least some of the shame from the weekend has dissapated.