blahman8000
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2009
- Messages
- 691
You're definitely dealing with consequences of overindulgence, though, and it's only going to get worse unless you at least cut down. I have an addictive personality, too, and tend to overdo it on pretty much every kind of high .I know that cold/shivering/shaky feeling that comes with sobering up. It does eventually get a lot worse than that.
Depending on booze to numb you or make you feel better is contributing massively to your depression, though. Probably more than you realize. People with addictive personalities often never learn how to deal with stress and depression until late in life because we're so prone to block out the feeling with forms of instantaneous gratification. You end up inevitably feeling worse hours later when that high is gone and you're left with just yourself, raw and sober. It's a fucked up cycle that just gets worse.
Again, the fact that you don't have years behind you of alcohol abuse is a good sign, it means that you have the self-awareness to catch onto it early and you're willing to address the problem before it gets out of control. A lot of people in this thread waited long after that point came and things get pretty ugly if the drinking progresses at that rate.
I think that you might benefit in keeping track of how many drinks you have a night, and try to keep it low enough so that you avoid too much discomfort and withdrawal. Cutting down gradually seems to be the case to go with a lot of people because if you limit your drinking drastically too fast, it often hits as too much of a shock and people give up easily and just get hammered. So basically, throw the idea of getting fucked up out the window, and take a drink only if you start feeling too bad.
Also, when you're mixing too much alcohol abuse with amphetamines, it can get REALLY bad, and the comedowns off amps along with the depression and anxiety from alcohol abuse and sobering up off booze is overwhelming. If you're having even minor withdrawal from alcohol, which can come even from a bender, then you should seriously avoid amphetamines. It sucks ass being on uppers when booze is turning against you.
Hope you can continue to take something like that from your continuing efforts. Best of luck! You too N3o. You're doing great. Long may it continue. 
I've had the whole end of relationship / new house / fresh start thing going on these last couple of months and after all the stress of that finally things are settling down. Everything's completely on my terms for the first time in years and I feel like I have some real control over my life back at last, not just over the drinking but everything else going on too. Everything's coming together at just the right time. 
