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Age - Does it really matter?

itssuchagoodfeelin said:
I am 24 and my bf of 4 years is 46. Honestly the age factor has never been much of an issue for us. My parents do not undedrstand (but do parents ever get it?) but they except it because im happy. and when u see us together you dont see the age factor you see a happy couple and thats important. He has children my age and some older than me and they feel the same way. Of course you will get some haters who will tell you it will never work and it may not in the long run but in the moment its a beauitful relationship that i will always treasure.
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I think I can relate to this greatly. I'm youthful and my partner is starting to show the signs of age, but I couldn't care less of what society thinks when we are out and about. I like holding her hand, kissing her, showing that I really couldn't care. It works, we are happy and as you said, what me and my partner have, is very much, 'Beautiful'. I know it may never last forever, but I'm willing to give my life to her for now, to feel what I can with her, for as long as she will have me.
 
I'm probably one of the younger persons posting here but I'm 20 and I'm in love with a 16 year old girl. She isn't in love with me (in fact she has another boyfriend) but she does know and we've talked about it. We're good friends though and have experienced some great times together including one night were we made out (she didn't have a boyfriend back then). It was one of the best nights in my life and no drug will ever match that feeling. I'm really glad she is so understanding but I can't say that for everyone. I'm not ashamed about it so when people ask me about my love life (just out of general interest, like during a chat on a party) I have no problems explaining the situation but usually I get some strange looks. Kind of in a doubtful way, like I'm creepy. It can hurt me because what I feel is genuine love and I know I can't be the only one. Why should some stupid rule and a measly 4 years of age difference suddenly make these feelings a bad thing? Luckly the gap isn't too extreme and none of my close friends even mentioned anything about it. I'm happy about that. :)

I also have to note that emotionally I don't feel like 20 at all. More like 18. I have had this feeling for quite some time. I think it started when I was around 12 years old and ever since I feel like I've always lacked behind first one and later two years in age. I've been physically attracted to girl ranging from 15-21 years old but emotionally probably only 15-17. I find older girls to be too serious and boring.

PS: It's really interesting to read all these posts about men being attracted to much older women. I didn't know it was that common.
 
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raverholland said:
I also have to note that emotionally I don't feel like 20 at all. More like 18. I have had this feeling for quite some time. I think it started when I was around 12 years old and ever since I feel like I've always lacked behind first one and later two years in age. I've been physically attracted to girl ranging from 15-21 years old but emotionally probably only 15-17. I find older girls to be too serious and boring.

PS: It's really interesting to read all these posts about men being attracted to much older women. I didn't know it was that common.
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Hey Raver, Cheers for sharing, don't worry your only 20, I'm only 22.

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong in a 4 yr age gap, my partners 37, I'm 22(15 yrs 8)). Emotions are emotions and the way you feel cannot be squished into the box of a forum or into a speech given verbally. Only you know how you truly feel, even if others cannot understand.

I'm glad your not ashamed, you shouldn't be. Who should be ashamed of being in love with another human being, who can consciously understand decide and feel what love is as well. I don't think any rule can put guidelines to that.

As for feeling younger, I have the opposite, for my age I feel older. It's common place for vice versa to arise. Don't worry about it. Age to an extent can be just a number.


"PS: It's really interesting to read all these posts about men being attracted to much older women. I didn't know it was that common."
In a way it's as common place as older men being into younger women. I guess the stigma behind women dating younger men is a lot more negative then men dating younger women, so it isn't spoke of a great deal.
 
Dating "older" isn't 4-5 years. Claiming that you're dating "older" with that age gap is just showing your inexperience in the dating world. Dating "older" is a large age gap like 10+ years. Even 10 years isn't that awful, but anything beyond that is really a huge difference in socio-economical status.

Sorry, but age does matter in the long-term. If you want the experience of an older girl to fool around with and experiment, then yes, it doesn't matter because it's just a fling, but for the long-term, it generally doesn't work out.

But I can certainly appreciate the young, idealistic thoughts. I was there once :), and I understand how the inexperienced can have this type of wishful thinking.
 
Lysis said:
Dating "older" isn't 4-5 years. Claiming that you're dating "older" with that age gap is just showing your inexperience in the dating world. Dating "older" is a large age gap like 10+ years. Even 10 years isn't that awful, but anything beyond that is really a huge difference in socio-economical status.

Sorry, but age does matter in the long-term. If you want the experience of an older girl to fool around with and experiment, then yes, it doesn't matter because it's just a fling, but for the long-term, it generally doesn't work out.

But I can certainly appreciate the young, idealistic thoughts. I was there once :), and I understand how the inexperienced can have this type of wishful thinking.
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Not to be a party pooper, but a month older would be dating, 'older' and a month younger would be dating, 'younger'. It's not inexperience, to say your dating 'older', if there 4-5 years older. It's merely using the word older... Your setting your own rules and calling people inexperienced because they don't follow them.

but anyway,

I want to hear more about why you think it won't work? So far you've pushed your view that it won't work as opinionated fact. IT WONT WORK, simple. So tell me why in your eyes, you think it won't work?

Is it because of looks? Because sorry I'm not that shallow.
Is it because of differences? We like the same music, we like the same programs, doing the same things etc... she likes wigan pier, I like wigan pier. How crazy.
My eldest brother is older then my partner.
My mother and father are 11 years apart and they have been happily together now for 35years and married for 29 of them.
My partners mother and father are 10 years apart and they are happily married. Her mother adores me.

The other night we had a get together, me and one of her friends husbands, who is in his 30s got on like a house on fire, had a 3 hour chat on philosophy and I.T.

Children? I can't have children and she already has children and swears she doesn't want more, even when with me she admits, I would make the perfect Dad compared to the father of her children.

Our life and relationship is no different to any others and the only thing which will change over the years is her looks and her going through the menopause. We are ready for the menopause and I couldn't care whether she grows old and saggy, I just want her there, to talk to, to be with. If anything, the fact she's older and I'm younger makes our relationship all that more special. Because through all society's judgements and hidden rules, our relationship stays stronger.

She told me she loved me first... we aren't just a couple. We are best friends.

So tell me, why are you so pessimistic and adamant it won't work? I'm not naive to think its 100%. But I'm not so pessimistic to damn the whole concept.
Is there an experience in your youth which has set you against such relationships?

If its merely based on society's opinions, then It isn't relevant. I care not for society and there woolly backs.
 
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