Age - Does it really matter?

[DeathDomokun]

From an evolutionary point of view, most men will stick their dick in anything that feels good.

 

[rm-rf]

I think long term it's something you should consider. When she's 70 you'll be 55 and believe me it will be the nubile maidens who'll be turning your head not the crinkly at your side.

Why do you assume that when people fall in love, it HAS TO be for all eternity? Do you watch Disney movies a lot? How about television sit coms? Ever wonder why nuclear families and perfect monogamy are so powerfully reinforced in your culture? Is there no room in your world view for people to be in love for a few years, and then to respectfully depart and seek love with others?

Why do you assume the physical attributes between someone 25 years younger/older are the main determinants of their love? Why do you think they would fall out of love because one of them is "crinkly" and non-crinkly mates are available? Also, why does having multiple mates reduce love between these aforementioned, age-gap'd two?

Why do your standards have to be the same standards for other people? Are you uncomfortable with the fact that someone could be perfectly content, without any self deception, with someone 25 years older than themself?

From an evolutionary point of view, most men will stick their dick in anything that feels good.

What is the point of this statement? From any point of view, most women would like to be stuck with dicks that feel good. In fact, the vagina is biologically rigged, evolved, and adapted, to receive multiple payloads of semen simultaneously. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes exactly as much sense for a woman to have multiple partners as it does for a man, if not, then more sense. Women have the ability to maintain sexual energy and power far longer than men, and from an evolutionary perspective, its impossible for a single man to completely fulfill a single woman. In this day and age, on average, women need a lot more dick than is rendered available to them.

 

[DeathDomokun]

^
well you see if you'd read the above posts you'd see why I made that comment

atleast from an evolutionary point of view, most people go for a similar age...

Look, I can see where you're coming from, I really can, but different people like different things. Even if it IS just social indoctrination, some people are possessive and seeing their 'loved one' with other people brings them pain.
I'm not gonna find the quote/story, but pain is a result of ourselves and our egos. We bring pain onto ourselves. Like there's a thorn, and that thorn is just chilling. It's only when you apply pressure to the thorn that you're hurt.
Same with life, it's only by your attachments/cares/desires that brings you suffering, so if somebody wants a monogamous relationship and you want a polygamous relationship, reversing the relationships will bring both of you discomfort.

I really do see where you're coming from, but you have to respect other perspectives.
They may seem illogical to you, and they may even be illogical, but I don't even know where I'm going with this so I'm going to end my aimless jabbering now

 

[ParappaTheRapper]

...

 

[Hear Me Roar]

From an evolutionary point of view, most men will stick their dick in anything that feels good.

aha dude, +1. Evolutionary, spot on. But I guess evolution hasn't caught up with me yet.
but still, funny shit

 

[Lysis]

Yes, age matters. It's a matter of socio-economic status, experience and personal interests. Something tells me you won't be around when she's 50 and you're 35. 10 years? eh, that's not too bad, but 15 is a little much, so interests and experience will differ. If it's a matter of going through a fling, then fine, but I wouldn't go into a relationship with this large of an age difference thinking it will last.

 

[Hear Me Roar]

Yes, age matters. It's a matter of socio-economic status, experience and personal interests. Something tells me you won't be around when she's 50 and you're 35. 10 years? eh, that's not too bad, but 15 is a little much, so interests and experience will differ. If it's a matter of going through a fling, then fine, but I wouldn't go into a relationship with this large of an age difference thinking it will last.

I couldnt dis-agree more, not that I don't value your opinion or understand it, because when looking at it from the perspective you've taken, it would most likely work exactly like that. My differ in opinion is that I don't agree to, or abide by on a whole, society's view to lifestyle and choices (monetary and legaly, by force, i'm 'obliged' to follow society's rules. But I don't have to share society's narrow minded views). Its cliché to say, I'm an old soul, in a young body. But that is how I feel. I've never personally have been one for partying, as someone my age would do, or the topics of conversation, people of my own age would like to discuss. We enjoy the same music, we talk for hours about anything and everything. When you look at it from an every day standpoint, you wouldn't of thought with an age gap as me an my partner have, we would have much in common, yet I consider her my best-friend and partner. We can read each other like a book. She has lived a very confined life, she only went over seas for the first time while being with me. I feel I'm teaching her more than she is me. Maybe we are the exception, maybe I'm naive for thinking all this, but I can undenieably assure you, I get on with her, on a social level a lot more than some of my long term friends.

I've always been reserved about the situation and I'm not saying forever, because I can't read the future. But the way things are and how we connect on an emotionallyy and physical level, I want this to last as long as she will have me.

Its not how old you are, but how you feel.

Though i agree with the point your making, I just don't feel it applies to me and my partner.

peace

 

[Lysis]

It's fine if you disagree. I've had plenty of accurate, succinct moments where the person in the wrong disagreed with me.

Holler back in 10 years and let me know where you are. I promise not to say "I told you so."

 

[_mistresspoppy_]

I believe any age gap is fine, as long as both partners (18 or not, its just a ridiculous government regulation. Plenty of young people are mature enough to give consent, just as plenty of plenty of twenty somethings are completely immature and should have no right to procreate. Its not about the date on your birth certificate, its about how you and your partner feel. But annyyywayy, getting off my soapbox and back on topic..) consent. my love is 28 years older than me, and we've been together 6 years now and are looking at marriage. Yes, things will be tricky in the future, but we live for "now". As for concerns about sex, there are many plastic, silicon, or cyberskin, ways to amuse yourself when one partner's libido is down. In my case, I have loved my man for 6 years, and I will love him for another 6 decades. Roar seems to have similar feelings toward his lady. Whatever concerns may get in the way, well work through them because we love eachother. And that's my advice to you, roar. The only concern, as some have mentioned, is whether you want to start a family, but that is something to discuss with her and there are plenty of options when having a biological child is not possible. An age gap is no reason you can't have a family, if you choose.

 

[Hear Me Roar]

where the person in the wrong disagreed with me.

Over 7billion people in the world with a subjective view on reality. There is no wrong or right man, unless 1+1=2, a bachelor is single etc... I appreciate the input though, without two sides(a million sides) of every situation, we wouldn't have a clue what life is, without disussion. I think 10 years is a long time, anything can happen and it is complex. But we don't view it as being different and her looks matter little to me... an the fact I find older women attractive.

Holler back in 10 years and let me know where you are. I promise not to say "I told you so."

Haha, I possibly could. But we have had someone with the same clear mind say, 'It will only last a week' and now we are over a yr on.

I feel lucky.

 

[Hear Me Roar]

I should have added more smilys

its all about the smileys..... %)

 

[paranoid android]

Meh i don't care about age much. I figure if shes old enough to get into a bar here legally (19 is the legal age for drinking here) then shes old enough to go out with or for a one off. The only real g/f i had was 9 years younger then me and the age gap was not a issue at all. I was 28 she was 19 but since i still look like I'm in my early 20's noone even noticed. It's how mature someone is that makes the difference and yes generally younger people are less mature but not always. I swear some of the people i know stopped evolving emotionally once they hit 15 . So if she's intelligent, loyal, interesting and i am physically attracted to her I'll go out with her if shes in the age range of 20-early 40's. Since I'm 30 i can hardly go around calling anyone a cougar now adays.

I never gave a fuck about what anyone much less society thought of me so am hardly going to start now

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

Honestly, I'm 21, and I'd love to be dating a 30-35 year old woman. I'd be in heaven.

I will absolutely NOT do ANYTHING with any girl 2 years younger than me. Idk why, honestly, but I just will not.

Most of the girls I've been with reently have been exactly my age, or a year less.

 

[Hear Me Roar]

Honestly, I'm 21, and I'd love to be dating a 30-35 year old woman. I'd be in heaven.

I think every younger man thinks about being with an older woman. They have a certain sex appeal, which was my original attraction. Yet its so much different now. For 37, she hasn't experienced much life has to offer her really (she said she's constantly been stuck in dead end long term relationships). I feel kind of blessed I get to experience new things with her, while there new for both of us. It started off as I guess, a 'misses Robinson' kinda thing, but now we are just like any average couple, I feel closer than an average couple.

It's all just numbers.

 

[PainInTheAss]

Yea, age don't mean shit man, it's just a number, Just realize when she gets her "reverse puberty" there might change a lot that you like about each other. Just sayin'.

Luckily for me, guys have less of that issue

 

[Alex000]

Age is indicative of a lot, however two or more persons of greatly varying age can form wonderful, well-based, and sustaining relationships in all ways. Do I think age matters? Well, yes, of course, age matters, but is there anything inherently unhealthy or unstable about a relationship between persons of greatly varying ages? No, there isn't. I can imagine myself with persons of greatly varying ages, myself, although I do have my mind set on one guy now, so I do not think of others with me that much. But, could I be with someone 20 years my senior? Sure, I think I could be. I see no reason why not if we were good together. And there I am refering to sexual partners. I have had friends over 50 years my senior, and they were true friends with whom I felt most comfortable and with whom I had excellent and enjoyable relationships. My aunt had a great marriage with someone 12 - 15 years her senior (cannot remember exactly), and it only ended because of an unfortunate and untimely death due to her husband's refusal to get health screenings. She met the man in her mid 20's, I think, and the relationship lasted through her later 30's. They were best friends, and great lovers, from what I have heard (aunt is a good friend, and we're very close).

There is no reason, none at all, why such relationships between adults are dysfunctional inherently. You, the OP, love this woman, do you not? So, why should anything else matter? I have found having relationships (platonic, in my case) with those much older than me have only done me good, and have been great. It adds something different, something potentially healthy, to the relationship, where the younger can contribute his/her youth, vibrance, energy etc. and the older can contribute his/her worldly knowledge, experience, maturity, developed sense of self, ability to endure, tenderness etc.

On a personal note, I always feel I am fairly exclusively homosexual in my practice and interest, but I could imagine myself with a woman, only if she were much older than me or VERY special. And, I mean anywhere from 15 + years my senior, with certain exceptions for younger. I wouldn't draw any line, really. Arbitrary to draw lines it is. I think such a theoretical situation with a woman would have to begin with a great, platonic relationship, and evolve into a relationship with a sexual element slowly. But, I have thought about it before. Many of those I admire are older women, some MUCH older. On another note, I am very Freudian in my views on psychology, and do have to say I would guess I have an unresolved oedipal complex, but it does not bother me particularly. Well, I am rambling now, but I hope this helps some.

 

[Hear Me Roar]

Yea, age don't mean shit man, it's just a number, Just realize when she gets her "reverse puberty" there might change a lot that you like about each other. Just sayin'.

Luckily for me, guys have less of that issue

I totally agree, I think in a sense, age can mean something, but at the same time, it doesn't. There may be some kind of correlation between maturity/experience/physical looks etc(more the physical looks)... but her last partner was 40 and she says, he was very immature in contrast to me. In fact, his mother still cooks his tea every night and washes his clothes and hes now 41!. I think its all here nor there. Some people are mature when they get older, some people experience more as they get older(more years behind them). Yet at the same time, it can be the complete opposite.

But yes, I have thought over about how I will feel, when she starts turning grey(its happening already), when the wrinkles start becoming more prominent and gravity takes its toll.... call me perverse, but I find women in there 30-50s quite a turn on and I can honestly see her ageing quite gracefully. She is very naturally beautiful, though she never realises it. An being with me does emotionally get to her in a superficial sense. Because she feels she has to try look young, as it baffles her, to why I'm attracted to her. Though I always try an reassure her, she is the most beautiful-est thing to me (she was considering botox, I told her not to be so silly).

The only thing I worry about, is when she reaches the menopause. I've read it can be tough on both sides of the relationship.

 

[Lysis]

Do I think age matters? Well, yes, of course, age matters, but is there anything inherently unhealthy or unstable about a relationship between persons of greatly varying ages? No, there isn't.

Wise words.

 

[itssuchagoodfeelin]

I am 24 and my bf of 4 years is 46. Honestly the age factor has never been much of an issue for us. My parents do not undedrstand (but do parents ever get it?) but they except it because im happy. and when u see us together you dont see the age factor you see a happy couple and thats important. He has children my age and some older than me and they feel the same way. Of course you will get some haters who will tell you it will never work and it may not in the long run but in the moment its a beauitful relationship that i will always treasure.

 

[-Kitten]

I think if youre 18+ you can be with anyone at any age i always as with older guys ( younger are fuckinggg stupiiidddddd no offence to the young ones on here XD) but yeah all my serious boyfriends were about 5-6 years + than i was