• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Again.. How many times am I gonna F*$k up?? Heroin withdrawl

S

SececaRD

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2009
Messages
483
Well Here I am again going thru Withdrawls. When am I ever gonna get it right??

Ive got a couple subs to help me thru. This is like the bazinllinth time in the last few months Ive tried to quit. I need as much support as possible, anyone else going thru this too??

Well Any advice would be nice thanks guys!
 
What have you done so far to stay off the stuff? Have you been using other drugs while off heroin? Are you willing to go to any lengths to stay clean?
 
Ok the only advice i could give would be to maybe get enough subs or whatever to do a long taper. That will help the pain of withdrawal and also the PAWS atleast in my experience.
 
caltrain208 said:
What have you done so far to stay off the stuff? Have you been using other drugs while off heroin? Are you willing to go to any lengths to stay clean?
Click to expand...

Yeah I know what I gotta do to stay clean.. I had almost 3 years clean then I messed up... now Ive been back using for about 3 or 4 months now...


Im willing to do what I gotta do to stay clean.. I gotta get freaking divorce first, thats where all this started, my wife relapsed first then she left.. it fed me up and I couldnt deal with it without substances.. Here I sit with an addiction again!!!

Never again!!!! Im Freaking Thru... Specially for a female!!

Love you all.. Im staying strong
 
im on the hardest days of a very sharp sub taper. was shooting only a couple balloons at a time. went to 2mg sub a day for 3 days, 1mg for 2 days, now im on .5mg for 2 days. i did not have enough sub to make a legit taper and my body is paying the price

i feel you OP
 
fuck man,,,

short and sweet for YOU is, ask yourself this next time you count your money, and kiss it good bye; or worse, well eventually worse.

you have the chance to ask this a free-man,,, when is the time to make sense?!?

my brother, its with love, id grab you you and try to shake you if i could lol


<3
 
I had almost 3 years clean then I messed up... now Ive been back using for about 3 or 4 months now...
reading this makes me nervous.
Click to expand...

Me too. Were you working vigorously with others? What were you doing to stay clean and what did you stop doing? If you were working a 12 step program, did you complete your ninth step (and fifth)? Establishing daily contact with a higher power? Were you developing spiritually or becoming complacent? Were you staying open-minded and teachable? I'm sure your wife's relapse must have been difficult, but many people are able to stay clean through all sorts of awful circumstances. There's always more that can be done.
 
caltrain208 said:
Were you staying open-minded and teachable? .
Click to expand...


Theres one area I went wrong. I became arrogant with my recovery. It was either my way or the highway. I didnt stay open minded about other peoples recovery methods. If you look at some of my posts from about a year and a half ago youll see what I mean.

My method for staying clean is Church and Christianty. I know its not real popular on this website but thats what got me 2 1/2 years clean. Im gonna go back to the cross of Christ and repent, But This time around Im not gonna get a puffed up head. Im gonnna stay openminded with everything.

Im sorry for anyone in the past that I hurt or offended with my posts. Me and Ocean used to get into it all the time. I beleive she used to tell me to show some love. Thats what I was lacking was the love. I need to come off with a different approach. Thanks everyone whos listening!!

Theres also other areas I gotta work on too that Im not gonna get into right now. Thanks guys
 
^Good for you for recognizing that Sean.
Christianity is about Love, and judgment is not for you to pass- sounds like you have learned that lessons. I think you will find greater success turning to your church with an open mind and no judgment. Wish you the best <3
 
My method for staying clean is Church and Christianty. I know its not real popular on this website but thats what got me 2 1/2 years clean. Im gonna go back to the cross of Christ and repent, But This time around Im not gonna get a puffed up head. Im gonnna stay openminded with everything.
Click to expand...

Right on, many addicts find simple reliance upon a higher power necessary to a successful recovery. After all, God ought to be able to do anything. If you feel you have been beaten into a state of reasonableness and are willing to try something you may not want to do, try out 12 step recovery. I certainly was opposed to the idea until I had run out of options. The twelve steps focus upon a reliance upon God, plus action; a personal inventory to find our assets and liabilities, followed by turning them over to God, admission of past wrongs, followed by our best attempt to make right the wrongs of the past. There is also a strong focus on passing the message of hope onto other still suffering addicts. Good luck to you, if you have any hang-ups about the 12 steps or questions, I'd love to help.
 
this is amazing...

i doubted that wasnt you then, the same as when you can see drugs talking or making decisions.
there is a balance in this mayhem, and you are acknowledging the truth in yourself,
and the questionable persons and truth in what you believed so firmly, so long.
this is fucking honorable in my book brother.

keep listening and evaluating, be open to your surroundings, and absorb, then ascertain what relates to you. you are an individual who is honest and prepared to fight this and many self realizations -- seems we have been given unique abilities, and personalities, body types, to be individuals, and to be proud of ourselves...

you have this; again i say -- but on that stuff, not so much...
find yourself, then see what else you may need.
;)

<3
 
Gotta stay strong, bro.. I can't even tell you how many fucking times I've tried to quit. I'm only 19, and for the passed 3 years I've been abusing opiates like a som-bitch. When I turned 18 things went way more sour, and I was using heavily daily. Namely Oxymorphone, Hydrocodone, and Oxycodone. (All other opiates/oids too, just those were daily) Anyways, after 'quitting' too many times to count, it just bothers me to even talk about it. It's all about how serious you are, and who you keep in your company. I recall I was nearly a month clean, and then my friends were literally badgering me to do Fentanyl, so I relapsed. Lately, I've been doing 100mcg of fent a day, and I can't even tell you how much money I've spent on pills. All I know is if I do methadone daily for a week, after that the physical side of WD's are done, and I can be serious about quitting. Just take your subs, space em out, just to stay well, and give being clean a serious run. Good luck my man, I wish you the best.
 
Just a quick update.. Im still clean and sober!!! 5 days now and im feeling really well about it with no feelings to go back. I still feel a lil acky but all in all im ok. just want to thank all you all for your support!!

love you all sean
 
you are doing awesome man keep fighting the good fight. Allow yourself to be defined by your accomplishments rather then your shortcomings.

Much love friend.
 
It took me getting on Suboxone to get off of opiates for more then 2 or 3 months. I tried to quit for like 5 or 6 fucking years. Best of luck man.

You should try to get some group support. Wether that is through SMART recovery (even online meetings) or going to a NA meeting and just trying to listen. I struggle with the 12 steps, but they really helped at first.
 
awesome, im w/ding also, with different medical motivation -- but seems either of us could on MMT...
its chattering on still beyond five days,, but,, the motivation overrides that.

absolutely people may need medical attention withdrawing, but we've been doing so for many 100's of years.


whats next for Sean, or are you just taking it a it comes.?
 
Whats next for me you ask??

Well One thing is I need to find a job thats the first thing. I went and filed for the divorce from my wife a couple days ago that was one big step. After I get a job I need to move out of my parrents house and get my own place. Learn to be a better father to my son thats another big one. Other than that Im kinda taking it as it comes. Thank you all and PIP for your kind words.

Im really looking foward to going to church in the morning first time in a while since Ive benn and I cant wait!!!

PIP what you WDing from???
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top