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Addicts: Who is workin on decreasin their use? Tell us about it!

K

Khadijah

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To all my dopefeens out there, I got a question. Who is actually tryin to work towards eventually quitting/greatly decreasin their use? And wat are you doin to get there?

Theres a difference between "im clean serene and countin the days" and "Im tryna keep my habit to a low level and not use everyday." Its hard to decide to quit forever but it dont mean that you cant do watever you can to improve ur situation and make it better even in small ways while u still use. I think it is possible for some of us to keep it in check its just hard as shit. But it seems like in general people tend to see it as "using" or "clean" and that makes those of us who aint quite ready to put it all down, but do see that we need to control it so we take steps to do our best to minimize the harm, feel like we are failures wen really , hey 6 bags a day aint as bad as 7, ya feel me?

So here is a thread for you to talk about wat you are doin to keep your self on the right track, and wat progress you made towards havin a healthier lifestyle and a smaller habit or amount of use, if you aint quite caught a habit.

Me my self my goal is to switch back to sniffing once I feel ready thanks to a good friend who inspired me to give it a shot. Also I took my suboxone yesterday and didnt get high. Before thursday (when i had my sub dr. appt, passed the piss test, and then said "woohoo time to wile out" which ended up lasting for 8 days) i had been clean almost 6 days.

Now to someone who is preachin total sobriety that might look like a series of failures but to me I think it is a pretty good thing that I managed to put the shit down even if it was for a lil bit. Yesterday I could have copped 2 bags just enough for a nice shot for the end of the night but instead I kept that money and spent it on gas which i was pretty proud of becuz I usually would just run my car down to E and then be buggin the fuck out on the way home (of course with no cigarettes neither since all my money went to dope) worrying if Ima make it back without breakin down. So That is my pat on the back for myself for this week lol

So wat are yall doing that you are proud of? Wat steps are you makin? How is your plans going, towards decreasing ur use? I think this thread could be positive for alot of us who are goin thru the same thing to encourage eachother becuz it is really one step at a time and any step forward however small it is, does count and deserves recognition so here is the place for it.
 
I am working on decreasing my benzo use. Out of all the drugs I have ever abused, which is everything but snorting the kitchen sink, I have never abused Xanax or any benzo for that matter.
Frankly, I hate the feeling of taking more than one...that sleepy/zombie feeling.
However, I have a pretty bad panic disorder, so I have been taking two a day for years (perscribed by my doctor) to try and abort anything that should come my way and in doing this I have become dependent.
Reading all the horror storys on BL mortifies me so I am doing it slow and am down to 1 and 1/2 a day. When I get down to 0, I will just use them under my tounge when I actually have a panic attack. (I have not had a full blown panic attack in months...but the fear of having one is worse than anything. People with this disorder will know exactly what I am talking about)
Wish me luck! I am going to need it.
 
I've reached my goal in life...I don't have to answer to anyone at work because I've created my own business, I don't need to pay rent because I'm a home owner paid in full and I'll be married in 2 (well, actually 3) days to someone far more important than myself or anything else. <3 It wasn't easy...I worked my ass off to pull my life together.

From my point of view, prison saved my life. I was a drug dealing, junk in my arm, powder in my noes, gun under my belt, hardened criminal involved with the worse type of people who claim their selves "families". Prison forced me away from all of that and I'm never going back. I've already taken a bullet 5 inches from my heart and risking another relapse may actually hit it. :|

Right now I'm tapering off Suboxone. The miracle drug that curbed my cravings from going back to that awful lifestyle. I still use Ketamine (I admit...often) and on occasion smoke pot maybe two or three times a month when really stressed out but I don't worry about those two drugs.

I have too many responsibilities these days to fuck around with the "hardcore" shit. I just can't risk it. :\
 
I'm working hard to maintain myself and not go absolutely fucking nuts again. I'd like to think that I'm doing pretty well at the whole mess.

I stopped using heroin for the most part and switched to Suboxone. I still use, but it is rare and when I do it isn't for weeks and weeks at a time. I use benzos, psychedelics and booze occasionally.

Its nice to be able to use and not ruin my life and the lives of those closest to me. I've been working on not being a total fuck up for just over two years. Its a good thing.

Great thread idea Lacey!
 
IME, most hardcore heroin users aren't simply using 'cause they enjoy a dope high that much. They're using for other personal reasons, and how good the high is, is just a bonus.


Address those reasons first, and you won't need to stay high 24/7.


That's what has worked for me, and a few close friends, at least. :\

To everyone, good luck.
 
i am

went from:

4-5 bags a day
to
120-160mg oxy a day
to
80mg oxy a day
to
40mg oxy a day
to
20mg oxy a day
to
40mg hyrdocodone a day (PRESCRIBED)
to
30mg hydrocodone a day (PRESCRIBED)
to
15mg oxycodone a day (PRESCRIBED)
 
trying to make my drug use more something I do socially with people (be it nodding out with my girl while snuggling, or doing meth at a club and dancing all night) as opposed to just nodding out alone or tweaking my nuts off and walking around alone all night with my iPod on.

I feel that it will be a healthier and less harmful way to do drugs, while still being able to enjoy them, as I have no intentions of being 100% sober. Just was getting a bit out of hand.
 
rangrz said:
trying to make my drug use more something I do socially with people (be it nodding out with my girl while snuggling, or doing meth at a club and dancing all night) as opposed to just nodding out alone or tweaking my nuts off and walking around alone all night with my iPod on.

I feel that it will be a healthier and less harmful way to do drugs, while still being able to enjoy them, as I have no intentions of being 100% sober. Just was getting a bit out of hand.
Click to expand...

Thats a great way to reduce your usage but its tough to prevent using alone with methamphetamine (at least it was for me). After the party ends its tough to let the party in your mind to end because that shit lasts forever. My toughest problem with meth was always trying to keep the high going to prevent that incredibly awful comedown. After out with friends at a party or just kickin' it at a tweaker pad I dreaded the sun come up. It may not be a drug that creates physical dependence but in my opinion its the most psychologically addicting drug to ever hit the streets for the very reason of its incredibly long-lasting high.
 
i've maintained relatively low dosage , few times daily.. i couldn't wait more than an hour after waking up to use , but after a bit of trial and error (years) , i first started to use only after having bowel movement..but now i wait till 2-4pm. then usually i take a hit at the hour , whatever time it may be. if i can use 3 times a day, that would be a good day. lol

a bag (strong, 100mg) lasts me roughly 4 days. the way i see it..if i can get up and function relatively okay for however long it may be, i've gotten my shit SLIGHTLY together eheeh
 
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I been working on decreasing my drug use and maintaining a pattern of use that doesn't cause me to get sick or feel like shit. I go on my binges from time to time but I been doing pretty good avoiding the need and urge to stay high all the time. One of the biggest factors in decreasing my use is that I have someone in my life that I love and care about a lot, and I don't want her to be burdened by me being a junkie and what not.
 
well....5 months ago i was shooting around (the equivalent of) 1 bag dope per day...(here the heroin comes in plastic ball thinghies 200mg+, potent stuff.....) with my friends at a ... "dope house" and had a history of 1 year + using heroin and other opiates (morphine, oxycodone, pentazocine , tramadol etc......)
now i'm 3 weeks clean from opiates , and it seems like forever but i don't wanna go back, it was killing me, i was wasting myself around, and it just got worse and worse and the sickness and one night i did a little too much (didn't expect the dope to be so potent) and blacked out, my "friends" tried to keep me awake, second day was a hellish nightmare...and decided to quit, broke any contacts with my heroin "friends" and took tramadol and ketamine inthe wd's , and of course enough valium, xanax and ambien to sedate a small country's army :P....
and now i'm clean from any kind of opiate, it's been 3 weeks, and i NEVER plan on touching heroin again, maybe i'll pop a tramadol , maybe i'll snort a line of oxy once in a blue moon after hard party nights, but i'll never stick a needle my veins,i'll never shoot (or anything)..heroin ever..i even have a vein that has not fully recovered yet looks kinda blacker than normal...scat tissue i guess...

now i have this other little thing/problem...i use ketamine on a daily basis, im injections, ~4 ml per day....i think...and it is a lot, but i'm trying to quit that too, well actually keep it under control, cause i'll never totally quit key...
and i decreased my xanax use with the ambien...it's...ok i guess
 
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Over the summer I started picking up what for me was a decent benzo/opiate habit, although I avoided actual physical dependence (as far as a I know). Was doing about 70-90 mg of hydro a day or about 60-70 mg of oxy. On my days off opiate pills (i.e. when my stash ran out), I would use Xanax, or Klonopin between 4 and 8mg. Before I knew it I was blowing all my money on it, and almost lost my new truck due to not making payments etc. It culminated when I found a guy at work with a box FULL of Hydromorphone ampoules 1mg/ml. He gave me a number of them for free, and I binged for a weekend shooting it with my weed man who luckily or (unluckily) happens to be diabetic.

Anyways, when I got home needless to say I felt like a useless junky and resolved to not use opiates or benzos for a while, and so far its been about a month, and I'm clean. Although I am going to pick up some oc's tonight, because I got 15 hours of overtime on my last paycheck and they were too cheap to resist. So I may not be stopping altogether like I planned, but I am cutting way back.

Sorry to rant, I just realized how long this was, but none of my friends knew much about the extent of my abuse, and as such can't really speak with them about it.
 
damn, i wish i could just 'pick up some oc's any time i wanted.

anywho, i'm constantly setting up a taper schedule and relapsing. i dunno if i'll ever be clean, ever. i get disgusted with myself the day after a binge and get back on the taper schedule, then 2 days later i'm relapsing again. oh well.
 
GenericMind said:
I'm working on trying to cut my drinking down. It's been out of hand lately. :\
Click to expand...

Me too man. I realized I was getting beers almost every night, and 30 racks of cheap beer too. That shit is no good, if I keep that up I am going to be out of a liver in no time, not to mention shaking and shit. I haven't had a drink since Saturday and I'm going to make sure I keep it only on the weekends.

My other demon is benzos though. Since I went to detox in April I only relapsed one day. But I caved and am getting some more. The plan is to use them in moderation, but last time when I had a couple hundred pills I woke up the next day to none, and didn't remember anything. I really gotta stop succumbing to temptation, I have been doing so good too and I think I convinced myself that since I "quit" so easily that I can probably keep it in moderation. We will see. I think it's a healthier alternative to drinking, if anything, and it is good for my psyche to be able to truly relax at night when I am bored, considering a lot of my friends have gone in terrible directions which leaves me chilling at home a lot now. I just have to make sure I don't make it into a substitute for finding other things to do and make DAMN sure I don't do them at work.
 
lacey k said:
Now to someone who is preachin total sobriety that might look like a series of failures but to me I think it is a pretty good thing that I managed to put the shit down even if it was for a lil bit.
Click to expand...


pretty much anyone preaching total sobriety has been there before, that is a huge step...congrats on it just try to keep it going, if you can keep that lifestyle up with being able to manage your life and not negatively effect those around you go for it for sure, for the majority of us that isn't possible though. Good luck!
 
Lacey, you'd be proud of me, yesterday was one year (with no slip-ups) since I've done heroin, or any other opiate for that matter (with the exception of when I broke my leg and got prescribed opiates). So I've been on suboxone for a year.

On the other hand, I've also prescribed two different benzos, so I've basically traded opiate addiction for benzo addiction.
I was taking 20mg valium a day, I've gotten that down to 10mg a day, but I still munch on xanax every once in a while. I'm going to try get off both of them - get off suboxone entirely, and keep the valium to use as needed, not daily.

We'll see how that goes. I'll have to do one first, then the other. I'm definitely not running a suboxone AND benzo taper concurrently. :|
Wish me luck with all that, I'm starting the sub taper now, dropping very slowly, and I hope to be entirely off by the end of the year. Then I can use benzos to pad it if anything goes bad. After that, I'll make sure I'm in good health, mentally and physically, then begin the valium taper. It shouldn't be that hard. 10mg (sometimes 15mg) a day for 5-6 months. I hope it all works out.

I think I kind of got off topic, kind of jerked myself off in this post, so sorry if I did.

For you Lacey, and anyone else, even taking one day off is a step in the right direction. I know when it gets down to it, if you ever feel the need to totally stop, you can do it. A suboxone script is always nice.

Good luck and/or congratulations to anybody who is attempting to get their bad habits in check, taking the right steps, or anybody who has already done so. It's all about willpower.
 
Well the "using" benzos and somas responsibly thing didn't work. I got them thursay and woke up Sunday not knowing what happened all weekend, except that my dad knew. I am damn lucky I am not typing this from a commodore 64 underneath a canopy in an alleyway as we speak

FUCK THOSE THINGS.
 
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I went from shooting up to 120mg oxy a day(40mg shots 3x a day) with up to 6mg of xanax in a day to doing maybe 100mg of morphine a day and rarely IV'ing, no xanax either unless ive been on stimulants.

Its so good coz I dont get sick ever anymore, I hardly crave at all, most of the time when I use is for the hell of it, not because im giving in to cravings. I dont think ive done any morph in about 2-3 weeks, havent IV'ed in even longer so im stoked with that, mostly because I didnt even realize id gone that long. Ive just been doing pills(extacy) and drinking lately, opiates mess with my life and my head way too much.
 
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