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Abused as a child? BL'ers have your say...

Were you abused as a child, and do you have a drug habit as an adult?

  • M: I was abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 101 22.6%

  • M: I was not abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 145 32.5%

  • M: I was abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 15 3.4%

  • M: I was not abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 59 13.2%

  • F: I was abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 46 10.3%

  • F: I was not abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 31 7.0%

  • F: I was abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 16 3.6%

  • F: I was not abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 33 7.4%
  • Total voters
    446
I wasn't directly abused but perhaps mindlessly neglected in some ways, I hated cigarettes and they just kept on smoking, that caused me significant harm which I note as karma that I judge with.

drugs are just a right of passage anyways, but I do admit using them for escapism.
 
i was sexually abused by my grandfather when i was a little girl, and i was physically, and verbally abused, by my first boyfriend for about 8 yrs. ive been using since the age of 14 till this day. i would have to say that i do have a drug habit.
 
i was sexually abused by my doctor when i was little.
sexually abused by a few men in my past.

my dad is now a recovering alcoholic. but when i was growing up, he would always drink beer and he was definitely verbally/emotionally abusive.

physically abused, also verbally/emotionally abused by my ex-boyfriend. i have a domestic violence charge against him.

and yes, i do have a drug/alcohol problem. for 7 years now.
 
Man, this thread makes me sad. :(

I'm going to be vague for personal reasons, but yes, I voted.

I am also going to say that being severely abused as a young adult can be equally as painful—especially when you trusted someone with the trust of a child.

As far as the drug problem goes, I have had a drug problem for 7 years.
 
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Family, physical abuse.

Rape by male for few months.

Rape my female one incident.

Drug habit - It's been a long way out of the opiate rabbit hole. Always will be a part of me and I hope that i am strong enough to keep this in check. I finally accepted it was NOT my fault - this has made therapy / life much easier to cope with.

fuck anyone who rapes / abuses / harms children - i have ZERO tolerance for this. I can't stand the bullshit excuse. And I see people getting 1 1/2 years for raping an 8 year old not even a few days ago .... umm .... the "justice"... don't get me started. Sigh.
 
I would not say I was 'abused' I don't think my mum realised how they treated me would affected me so seriously. Thought in fairness I was a weird kid and I dont know how I would have treated me if i were in their situation.

I think my mums short temper made me feel very unloved and med me into doing many things which I deeply regret, not drugs per se, just immoral acts, some of which involved drugs. I wish I could love myself so they could love me back :)
 
I was abused - emotionally for sure. Phsycially? No, I don't think so. Sexually? Maybe. Something tells me 'yes' I was, but I remain unsure (maybe for the best?). I grew up watching my Dad beat the crap out of my brother - 5 years older than me. I'll never forget the sound of that belt snapping against his skin, his young (but somehow aged) screams coming up the stairs from the basement... the belt again, and my sister and I (she, 2 years younger) hiding beside the 'haut bois', crying, screaming for it to stop.

My brother grew up a drug addict/alcoholic and became a single father at 18 (sounds like .... my Dad!, except my dad had my mother - and minus the drugs and alcohol). He was kicked out our house, then out of my Grandparents' house... went to serve the US Army, failed college 3 times, is in and out of employment, moves 4 times a year (with son) due to lack of funds. Has another child with other (bipolar and seriously insane) woman. Ex wife a bitch. Me? Drug addict, previous E.D., long history of self mutilation. My sister? Emotionally abused throughout entire life - no substance abuse, but bulimia and self harm.

I'd say - there is a connection between abuse and some sort of self abuse (substance, or E.D's, Self Harm otherwise known as SH/SI/SM (self harm self injury or self mutilation).
 
what do you guys think about having been spanked. I got that fucking rod more times than I can remember, hurt like a bastard and never did a damn bit of good just made me more angry and resentful.
 
Abuse as child or adult: mostly as child and very young adult.

Types:

Sexually abuse:
The first time I was sexually abused I was 5 or so. This nahborhood boy, slightly older than me regularly took me in the laundry room to "play house", usually he took off my clothes and flailed around on me. I dont think there was ever penetration, nor do I think he knew what he was doing. That went on for a your or so.

The other major prolonged inccedent was when I was 12-13. The older brother of my nahbor and best friend, L, would regularly make us(yes his sister too) play truth or dare, or strip poker, or some other ploy to eventually get us naked. He did not touch me much, never a rape, but always made us get close and look at his 14 or 15 your old failing boner. He often dared us to do laps around the house(this usually took play before our parents got home from work, we were out of school). Once he took a poloroid picture of me naked when I was 12. When I looked at it I felt so ashamed and embarresed that I stole it from him and burned it.

Later I began to revolt more and threw a heavy gel sandel at him and hit him square in the face.

After that there was just a your or so of time, basically the whole of 8th grade, when I was totally unused and unprepared for the attention shifted to me after I suddenly get boobs and an ass and hips over the summer between 7th and 8th grade. I was regularly touched and made to sit in laps and grouped agianst my very quiet will at the time. I hated the bus ride to school until a certain dude got on the bus, because before that the older boys on the bus often held me down and tried to get under my shirt and shit like that. By the end of the 8th grade I had become very very guarded. I didnt like hugs, didnt like strangers ouch me, yada yada.

Other abuse? Well I was basically told up until somewhere in the end of high school tat I was not smart, and some even said stupid. I think the experiance of having ADD but not being diognosed really efected me. Its a big drive in my own teaching.


Drugs!

I use em.

Addiction? I have an addictive personality, mostly thats just meant pot, but I have been suffering pretty badly from stess, so I keep well stocked.I am fighting my first problem with stimulants, mainly MDPV, but that has to do with ADD and all the shit I have going on normally

Its hard to say how directly related the two are. There have been many effect of abuse on my personality, but i have always been spacy, independant and a bit of a loner.

And my biggest reasons for abusing seem to be to deal with reality in general, and its general template for how we should live. Cant deal with it.
 
Young adults who were abused as children share a similar neuroendocrinal trait. When they confront ordinary situations of stress, like taking a test, their brains are flooded with abnormally high levels of the hormone cortisol.

This kind of reaction is a problem because cortisol kills cells in areas of the brain that control memory and emotion regulation. Over time cortisol levels can build up and increase a person's risk for more severe endocrine impairment and more severe depression.
Click to expand...
source.

I guess this explains why my mind goes 'blank' whenever I have a test in my classes and can't remember shit half the time.
 
that is amazing... though could be taken more ominously then needed.

i do not believe this is at all permanent -
well, thats been proven.

Edit:
cortisols effect on the immune-system(in some aspects), adrenal glands, and bone mass development is notable for myself.
 
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^^I would subscribe to that theory. I still get very aggressive in situations that arent really threatening eg standing in queue's, people standing close to me or even just abruptly addressing me face to face; I feel childlike and then nearly always overwhelmed with a fight response. I am overly sensitive to criticism and react internally, intuitively with anger even though there is no 'real' threat.
I guess to a degree this is natural but I am aware how my responses dont mirror alot of peoples; mine is nearly always one of over-reaction and anxiety. I assume shyness but really its fear/aggression. However there are tools to cope with this, the reactions are still usually always the same, unfortunately. Its something that nearly always needs to be dealt with mentally.


I was emotionally abused(put in no-win situations ie set up to do things without reasonable explaination and then punished when they werent done the way the person wanted me to do them, screamed at, told I was useless) physically punished- (never beat up but thumped about, hit with broom handles, spanked for no good reason, hair pulled out etc). I do not abuse drugs anymore(bar Alc and cigs).

The person who abused me as a kid was also sexually, physically and emotionally abused/neglected by a parent.
 
in all reality.. yes i was "abused" but i had so much other shit goin on i think it possiblt just seemed normal to me.

meh, would love to give a piece of my mind to said person now. but why bother?
 
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