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A question for men in a serious realationship.

you arent enough for him. no one is enough for any one person. its an extremely unnatural thing for any member of our species to be completely "satisfied" in all physical regards with just one person. in fact, its even possible for a pairing of a specific couple to match up in such an exact way as to be completely infertile with each other (but have no problem reproducing with anyone else). there are few other signals more convincing than to say that monogamy in its most pure form is not biologically beneficial. our DNA will always, always be seeking other mates.

let your boyfriend sate whatever fascinations he has with images of other women if you arent comfortable with him being physical with them. if he isnt giving you the amount of attention and care you mandate, find a new boyfriend. if he is fulfilling this, then relaxing his borders will likely really make him want you more if his love is genuine. tighten the leash and he will likely want you less.
 
I've been married for almost seven years and love porn. Online streaming is so much better than old methods of renting/buying. Early in my relationship, my girlfriend/future wife was ok with it. Then she got really against it and I had to sneak around with it. Finally a couple of years ago, she realized that there was nothing wrong with it. We've watched porn together a few times since then (mostly while rolling) and she does make fun of it but also realizes that its part fantasy. We've had sex while watching porn too. She's not that loud and the sound of porn adds to the sex. I have a question for Oats, are you offended by Porn? That was my wife's issue for a while, however she had sexual hangups do to a combo of meds/family issues. Watch some on your own. Try watching the retro porn first though. Sure they have a lot of bad 70s/80s hair, but its more romantic back then. Explore your viewing, try masturbating, surprise him with having it own and fucking with it on. Porn is a tool for pleasure, use it to your advantage.
 
I wouldn't have a problem with my man watching porn. I wouldn't give up watching it myself!
 
I know this is probally going to get a lot of "yeah right! you are full of shit!" responses but it really is the truth and I know it for a fact...

My boyfriend does not look at porn. I've asked him about it and he tells me he just doesn't get anything out of it and he would rather have the real thing. Hell, I've even offered to watch it together and he shows no interest. As far as how often he masturbates, well I don't know. We are always together so he doesn't really ever have time between work and sleeping. We have sex everyday, sometimes twice a day and we've been together for almost a year and a half.

Now my ex boyfriend on the other hand was a porn addict and it became a huge problem in our relationship. Some guys can get real out of hand with it. (no pun intended! LOL!)

To the OP, don't stress out about it too much. It's pretty common amoung men and now a days there are a lot of women that look at it too. Maybe it would be fun to watch it together or hell, make a porn together! :)
 
tomdpimp said:
I have a question for Oats, are you offended by Porn? That was my wife's issue for a while, however she had sexual hangups do to a combo of meds/family issues. Watch some on your own. Try watching the retro porn first though. Sure they have a lot of bad 70s/80s hair, but its more romantic back then. Explore your viewing, try masturbating, surprise him with having it own and fucking with it on. Porn is a tool for pleasure, use it to your advantage.
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I kinda am offended by it actually, I feel the women in the pictures and videos are over the top and set a standard that women have to measure up to. I'm an average looking female. i'm about 5'2" and 120lbs with a tiny waste and a big butt and like a size B bra. i feel because i dont have the big busty boobs that the porn chicks have i'm not good enough. it mainly makes me feel bad about my body.
 
Oats said:
I kinda am offended by it actually, I feel the women in the pictures and videos are over the top and set a standard that women have to measure up to. I'm an average looking female. i'm about 5'2" and 120lbs with a tiny waste and a big butt and like a size B bra. i feel because i dont have the big busty boobs that the porn chicks have i'm not good enough. it mainly makes me feel bad about my body.
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I don't mean to be rude at all, but it really seems like you have some insecurity issues. Don't compare yourself to those girls. Nobody is perfect - even those girls in porn, really!! Maybe you need to look into this insecurity or jealousy thing a bit more.

He's with you because he likes you. Porn is something else entirely. It doesn't mean that he isn't satisfied with your relationship, it doesn't mean he isn't satisfied with you. It's just something for fun.

In my opinion, porn is only really harmful when it becomes more of an addiction. Or if someone is looking at porn constantly and not doing anything else with his or her life.
 
Oats said:
i feel because i dont have the big busty boobs that the porn chicks have i'm not good enough.
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kinda how i feel about professional athletes and billionaires. but what are you gonna do, y'know?
 
Oats said:
Do you watch porn, or look at naked women in magazines or on the internet?
I've been in a relationship for 9 months and my boyfriend and i have sex often. But he still looks at naked picture or seductive type pictures.
It makes me feel like i'm not enough for him.
Can a guy in a relationship please explain this to me. If you're having sex often and you're in a relationship why do men still look at porn?
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I think looking at porn is probably a sure sign you're in a serious relationship.
 
Miss Hollywood said:
My boyfriend does not look at porn. I've asked him about it and he tells me he just doesn't get anything out of it and he would rather have the real thing. Hell, I've even offered to watch it together and he shows no interest. As far as how often he masturbates, well I don't know. We are always together so he doesn't really ever have time between work and sleeping. We have sex everyday, sometimes twice a day and we've been together for almost a year and a half.
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My girlfriend thinks the same thing. She can be jealous (as can I), so I try my best to make her think I don't watch porn at all in order for her feelings not to be hurt.
This includes rejecting watching it with her, or acting entirely disinterested the couple of times we have watched it together (making fun, etc).

..I wank it practically every time she leaves the house, if not twice. And we have sex often. It's just going to happen, men like to wank it.
 
I don't have any issue at all with the fact that my boyfriend looks at porn. It's just fantasy and everyone has fantasies. We don't have any issues sexually (we have sex often). The only time I would feel it was a problem if it was prohibiting his ability to have sex with me, or if he was choosing porn over spending any time with me.

Imo, private time is private time. I am also not delusional enough to think that I'm the only woman in the world that he finds attractive. I know that I'm the one that he loves and wants to be with though. I couldn't be bothered trying to compare myself to pornstars, I like my body "au'natural" anyway, no fake boobies or airbrushing here, baby! My boyfriend loves me for who I am.
 
to tell you the truth I hate doing it. I do it only when I need it. I really really hate doing it. I love my girl!
 
Oats said:
Do you watch porn, or look at naked women in magazines or on the internet?
I've been in a relationship for 9 months and my boyfriend and i have sex often. But he still looks at naked picture or seductive type pictures.
It makes me feel like i'm not enough for him.
Can a guy in a relationship please explain this to me. If you're having sex often and you're in a relationship why do men still look at porn?
Click to expand...

My man does and we've been together more than 6 years. @ first I felt the same way you did, now I don't..I know my man <3 me and isn't going anywhere. Now I'll find me a lil somethin w/ some sexy stud and oogle away(only fair)..I don't really care for the videos because all the dudes in porn seem so ugly...
Its normal, most dudes do it..although, I'm sure there are some that don't you be hard pressed to find him..
 
Oats said:
I kinda am offended by it actually, I feel the women in the pictures and videos are over the top and set a standard that women have to measure up to. I'm an average looking female. i'm about 5'2" and 120lbs with a tiny waste and a big butt and like a size B bra. i feel because i dont have the big busty boobs that the porn chicks have i'm not good enough. it mainly makes me feel bad about my body.
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A big butt is far superior to tits, just sayin.
 
Oats said:
I kinda am offended by it actually, I feel the women in the pictures and videos are over the top and set a standard that women have to measure up to. I'm an average looking female. i'm about 5'2" and 120lbs with a tiny waste and a big butt and like a size B bra. i feel because i dont have the big busty boobs that the porn chicks have i'm not good enough. it mainly makes me feel bad about my body.
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nobody can make you feel this way without your consent.

alasdair
 
I told my last girlfriend this when she said she was insecure about me looking at porn... if I could get over the fact that all the dudes in porn have monster dicks, and not have it make me feel inadequate for being average in real life, that she could get past the fact that all the women in porn have monster tits, and (frequently) surgically altered vaginas, and it shouldn't make her feel inadequate in real life....
 
Oats said:
I kinda am offended by it actually, I feel the women in the pictures and videos are over the top and set a standard that women have to measure up to. I'm an average looking female. i'm about 5'2" and 120lbs with a tiny waste and a big butt and like a size B bra. i feel because i dont have the big busty boobs that the porn chicks have i'm not good enough. it mainly makes me feel bad about my body.
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Boobs aren't everything, and size is not a measure of quality of boobs. Lots of men prefer smaller breasts to big ones. My ex was built almost identicle to you and I thought her body was perfect. Point is-there are different tastes for everyone, and if hes with you he must enjoy your flavor ;)
 
Oats said:
I kinda am offended by it actually, I feel the women in the pictures and videos are over the top and set a standard that women have to measure up to. I'm an average looking female. i'm about 5'2" and 120lbs with a tiny waste and a big butt and like a size B bra. i feel because i dont have the big busty boobs that the porn chicks have i'm not good enough. it mainly makes me feel bad about my body.
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woman to woman, you should look into X-Art (if you want to find a site that streams it for free, PM me). if porn only encompassed the sleazy shite my boyfriend watches, i'd find it pretty uninteresting, too. X-Art is described as beautiful erotica - the models (men and women) are stunning and not obviously altered, if at all.

and, to answer your original question - yes, my boyfriend of almost 5 years watches porn. it never used to bother me, but i admit it's been tough not to feel emotional about it now that i have a 7-month pregnant body. i just try to remember my problem with it is about my insecurities with my currently unsexy body and is in no way a reflection of his feelings OR attraction to me. i know i'm his first option and porn his second in order of means to getting off. providing your boyfriend isn't turning you down to beat it to porn, there's no need to fret. :) frankly, his honesty and openess about it should assure you it's no big deal.
 
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