Beenbetter
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2017
- Messages
- 200
I'm sure you guys have heard, been through it all and I know I am no special case, but I am in a really bad place mentally. I don't want to make this post very long, but when I have a little more time I will fill you all in totally on my situation.
I have a imo pretty serious opiate addiction.
My children are on fall break this coming week and are going on a short vacation and I am thinking about going to a detox center. Afterwards hopefully successfully getting onto subs for a short time. I tried getting onto suboxone a cpl months ago but I don't think I gave it enough effort and didn't take enough mgs because it by no means even cut the cravings back and I was still sick and using on top of the subs. Subs used to work great for me m, but now they don't and I'm almost scared of them. I cold turkeyed suboxone about seven years ago and I know my body or mind can't handle that kind of torture again. Not now anyway in this state of mind.
So my question is, will going to a detox help me be successful in the transition to subs, or better yet, could I possibly walk away from detox and stay clean???
I'm so confused and ashamed and literally terrified. I can't hardly stand being away from my family even for a night but this has to be done or I won't have one.
I am considering everything, even the ultra rapid detox thing while they r gone. I just need my life back and my loved ones need their dad and husband back.
I'm worried about the sleep thing. I have bad panic/anxiety attacks and just thinking about not being able to sleep when I come home is bringing the anxiety on.
Sorry to ramble. I've been holding so much in for so long.
BB
I have a imo pretty serious opiate addiction.
My children are on fall break this coming week and are going on a short vacation and I am thinking about going to a detox center. Afterwards hopefully successfully getting onto subs for a short time. I tried getting onto suboxone a cpl months ago but I don't think I gave it enough effort and didn't take enough mgs because it by no means even cut the cravings back and I was still sick and using on top of the subs. Subs used to work great for me m, but now they don't and I'm almost scared of them. I cold turkeyed suboxone about seven years ago and I know my body or mind can't handle that kind of torture again. Not now anyway in this state of mind.
So my question is, will going to a detox help me be successful in the transition to subs, or better yet, could I possibly walk away from detox and stay clean???
I'm so confused and ashamed and literally terrified. I can't hardly stand being away from my family even for a night but this has to be done or I won't have one.
I am considering everything, even the ultra rapid detox thing while they r gone. I just need my life back and my loved ones need their dad and husband back.
I'm worried about the sleep thing. I have bad panic/anxiety attacks and just thinking about not being able to sleep when I come home is bringing the anxiety on.
Sorry to ramble. I've been holding so much in for so long.
BB