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A question about detoxing.

B

Beenbetter

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 19, 2017
Messages
200
I'm sure you guys have heard, been through it all and I know I am no special case, but I am in a really bad place mentally. I don't want to make this post very long, but when I have a little more time I will fill you all in totally on my situation.
I have a imo pretty serious opiate addiction.
My children are on fall break this coming week and are going on a short vacation and I am thinking about going to a detox center. Afterwards hopefully successfully getting onto subs for a short time. I tried getting onto suboxone a cpl months ago but I don't think I gave it enough effort and didn't take enough mgs because it by no means even cut the cravings back and I was still sick and using on top of the subs. Subs used to work great for me m, but now they don't and I'm almost scared of them. I cold turkeyed suboxone about seven years ago and I know my body or mind can't handle that kind of torture again. Not now anyway in this state of mind.
So my question is, will going to a detox help me be successful in the transition to subs, or better yet, could I possibly walk away from detox and stay clean???
I'm so confused and ashamed and literally terrified. I can't hardly stand being away from my family even for a night but this has to be done or I won't have one.
I am considering everything, even the ultra rapid detox thing while they r gone. I just need my life back and my loved ones need their dad and husband back.
I'm worried about the sleep thing. I have bad panic/anxiety attacks and just thinking about not being able to sleep when I come home is bringing the anxiety on.
Sorry to ramble. I've been holding so much in for so long.

BB
 
It's possible that Suboxone isn't the best maintenance drug for your situation. I was in a similar situation with subs using on top of them having horrible cravings ect. So I got on methodone and it was a huge improvement. It does take making the commitment of going to the clinic everyday until you get take homes but that's a small price to pay for no cravings or sickness Imo. the other upside is it doesn't cause precipitated withdrawal so there's no reason to go through withdrawal before getting on.

A detox center could help you get on subs in theory but I expect most would be resistant to the idea but that's something to ask about for sure. Anyway you can stop full acting opiates for 36 hours will allow a smooth transition to sub.
 
I know that if I can just wait those 36hrs the subs would be so much more effective, but my addiction is the worst it's ever been and I can hardly make it 16. Smdh I'm such a sissy now that I'm older.
I'm seriously contemplating the methadone. I've done everything except walk in their front door.
I just want this to be over. Be it maintenance of some sort, total cleanliness, anything.
I just want stability and happiness again. If I can find that I will cross the bridge of coming off maintenance when I'm in a better place in life.
 
I think methodone is your answer from the sound of it. I did the same thing before I got on mmt I called debated criticised everything but ultimately it was one of the best decisions I ever made
 
As bad as I hate to say this I believe you are correct. Just a few short years ago I would have laughed at anyone that said I'd ever be in this positions
Cj, when starting on the done, What size of habit do you think the starting dose will provide comfort and ease of cravings for 24hrs do you think?
They said thirty or so is the highest they will start someone at. I don't know the equivalent of 30mgs of done to my habit.

A close friend of mine just got on mmt and he said it now works wonders, but it was several days he had to use in the evening until he got up to around 50,55 or so.
And thank you so much for answering me.
I'm terrified.
 
Why do you say “As bad as I hate to say this”? Perhaps we can help allay your fears re: the terrifying aspect.

I was definitely nervous getting on methadone given the disparity between what I know based on the medical literature, research and science compared to the hellish horror stories you hear so often from some circles.

Like cj said, it really sounds like it would be a more suitable ORT program, especially with the extra support/accountability/regulations you have to deal with from the clinic.

Please share more about your fears with us! I know, fun right? ;)

Perhaps they are related more to broader fears related to addiction and your prior experiences, as opposed to what you can realistically expect from methadone as ORT.
 
Beenbetter said:
As bad as I hate to say this I believe you are correct. Just a few short years ago I would have laughed at anyone that said I'd ever be in this positions
Cj, when starting on the done, What size of habit do you think the starting dose will provide comfort and ease of cravings for 24hrs do you think?
They said thirty or so is the highest they will start someone at. I don't know the equivalent of 30mgs of done to my habit.

A close friend of mine just got on mmt and he said it now works wonders, but it was several days he had to use in the evening until he got up to around 50,55 or so.
And thank you so much for answering me.
I'm terrified.
Click to expand...
30mg held me for a few hours but I used on top until I got to like 60mg I guess. I went higher because well I'm a moron but 80mg would of been sufficient. I was doing like 100 dollars a day which is around a half gram of heroin I guess. They'll get your dose right within a month usually within 2 weeks. That's not really a problem. The main complaint people have is going everyday because your life is going to stabilize and when the crisis ends you tend to think I don't need this shit ect. It's almost like the treatment is so successful you forget how bad your addiction really is so it's a shock when people try to quit and the problems come back. But yeah don't go into it thinking about quitting go into it thinking about getting your life back on track
 
Hi Beenbetter!

You are amongst friends. I was on methadone for a pretty long time. I understand the apprehension you feel.

ORT definitely will give you time to catch your breath. You will have the stability want. Life is smoother. You're no good to your family when you're dopesick. I've been there. I also understand the disbelief you feel that things have spiralled to the point of needing help.

Don't get hung up on that. It has indeed happened. Now you need to work on the solution.

You're going to be ok. You can do this :)
 
Thx for the encouragement and kind words. Today is the day. Idk wut to do either. I was too scared to get up and go the clinic, plus I wasn't able to really speak with the wife about my options much lately cause as you can imagine we don't have much free time with two girls under 8yo.
Ort is what it's gonna have to be, I am just so scared.
I wish I cud just go to a detox and come out and the whole ordeal be over but I know that's not how it works.
Of course work has been incredibly slow until THIS morning.
Now there is more work than I can even handle.
Smh
Has anyone had success with the ultra rapid detox done under anasthesia? there is a place in Michigan that does it for not that much but it would be November before I could do it financially.
Gosh I feel so screwed. I know the clinic would work for me I just don't know how I could ever be there every day on time with the kids and work and everything.
So lost.
 
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As a general rule, ultra rapid detoxes are dangerous and ineffective. Occasionally you hear stories of success, but they are rather rare. Without further treatment relapse is not at all uncommon. The procedure is also rather ridiculously expensive.

If you are just trying to detox, an inpatient program (detox or month long) or month long outpatient methadone detox program are probably you best bet outsude just using comfort meds at home. Do you have a psychiatrist you’re currently seeing who could get you the appropriate medication for a detox?

What is your habit like right now OP? Like what drugs and how much/frequently? I am a little confused as to what it looks like, and more specifics would help get you more precise and accurate advice.
 
Bout to walk in to a sub place right now and give this one more go.
I rattled like a mother all night made it about 16 hrs and took some sub I had left over and I feel semi ok.
Wish me luck.
It has to stick this time.
 
Your making a great decision! Is there anyway you can get some mental health treatment on top of the sub program?
 
Let us know how you’re doing Bb. Please take good, gentle care of yourself. Shit ain’t easy, as you know so well.
 
Well I really don't like this doc either.
He was supposed to be a psych and handle all issues at once but basically he talked for five minutes and handed me a script for a week of subs, and then told me he can't write an anxiety rx because I am prescribed adderall which I have never abused. He told me three controlled substances only which I understand but he didn't even let me talk to him about my issues. Basically said ditch the adderall, and take a benzo, or don't. Ugghhhgg.
I was very disappointed. I will be looking around for another pyxch doc because it is a must. I have to get to the bottom of why I use.
Your so right tpd, this shit is FAR from easy. I find myself crying a LOT!! And I'm not a crier.
 
Tpd I sent u message explaining my usage. I don't know if u got it or not.
I was scared to put it in the open forum.
Idk why. Lol
 
That sucks but most sub doctors are single issue prescribers in that they will only manage your opiate dependence. You could get another ohych doc to manage the rest. Or try a drug besides benzos for anxiety. Benzos aren't good long term for anxiety anyway
 
Beenbetter said:
Tpd I sent u message explaining my usage. I don't know if u got it or not.
I was scared to put it in the open forum.
Idk why. Lol
Click to expand...

Yup, I apologize for forgetting to respond, must have slipped my mind. You have had a very sizable habit. How is the buprenorphine holding you?
 
Eh so far today so good.
I think it has a lot to do with how sick I let myself get last night yesterday.
I still am definitely not 100%.
I want to rapidly decrease but not in the manner I did last time which was too quick.
Led to extreme anxiety and depression which led to you know what. I'm gonna give it a helluva lot more effort this time.
I wasn't ready last time.
I'm not 100% ready this time but much more prepared and inspired.
 
What is the taper look like that you’re planning for yourself?

Right now you should really just focus on stabalizing on the medication. Once you are stable, if you want to, you can start tapering. But a period of stability on the meds is an important first step to get the most out of it.

If you’re just trying to detox, of course you’ll only need to take it for a week or two tops, and you shouldn’t really have to taper much if at all off them. If you use them for a longer amount of time a taper is a good idea, but just for a week or two it isn’t as much an issue.
 
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