Hey guys! Swinging on through to say HELLO!!
I am well! I finally got my home office set up, so my updates may be more frequent now. I was using my laptop for all entertainment purposes (hdmi cable to tv for netflix, streaming cable, etc) and still not working in front of a computer all day, so I never had a good chunk of time with my laptop (when it wasn't being used for entertainment in my house), but now I have something more permanent set up for all of that and my laptop is my own again...HOORAY!
How's everyone??? I am well. Downtown was NUTS for the Superbowl!! I was working like a madwoman for a week + seeing as my bar is like RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the hotels all the players were staying at (and 5 min from the stadium). Patriots fans overtook Atlanta...ugh (no offense if any of you are Pats fans...but seriously UGH!) and it was a literal shit show. Bar fights, women getting drug out in headlocks, we had it all. I got to meet Peyton Manning though (Vols fan right here!) so that was neat! I also made a whole shit ton of money.
I've been bartending a lot, but I am making bank. WAY more money than my last job (a "real" job). I'm only working 40 hours a week tops, but it's much harder work physically, so I feel it. When I get home, I like to veg and watch tv (or play video games, something I'm doing more of..). I haven't been using my gym membership like I would like to, lately, due to so much physical labor at work, but I'm hoping to get back into that. I enjoy the people I work with a lot. It's a male dominated bar (strange, its usually the opposite) and there's a lot of shit talking and offensive jokes, but that's kinda my style so I've fit in perfectly. Management adores me as well since I'm a hardworking bitch
I'm still NOT SMOKING, still on the juul. I found a nice little vape shop near my house that has their own juul flavors I really like. Oh, guess I should add that I'm still not using. Still on methadone, 80mg, and still doing well as far as that goes. Haven't touched another opiate since end of July/beginning of August (can't remember exact date bc I didn't think it would really be my last time lol). I'm still smoking a lot of weed. A girl I work with sells edible gummies and she likes me a lot and often gives them to me for free when ewe work together, which is fun. I work better high at the bar, strangely enough. I find it makes me a lot more relaxed (something I need...I get too high strung at times which makes me make mistakes) and a better employee in general. Luckily my bar is incredibly cool with weed...drinking on the clock is a much bigger offense (which I don't do!) and all the management/owners smoke and/or are relaxed about their employees partaking while at work.
My counselor at the clinic just gave me a 10/10 for my yearly evaluation. I occasionally test positive for marijuana, so I haven't gotten any take homes (besides sun) yet, but I'm only one more "clean" test away from getting my first one (which they said will prob become 3 quickly since I have such a good re pore there) here soon, so fingers crossed I can "pass" this next one (my clinic allows a certain amount of THC in tests, and if you get two clean tests in a row you get takehomes...I test clean sometimes even when I've smoked, just really depends on how much water I've been drinking, it's dumb). I also just got a physical from the clinic (!!! actual healthcare is included?!?!), the first I've had since I was, like, 18, and found out that I am HEALTHY other than slightly high blood pressure that the Dr. attributes to my ridiculous coffee habit and former smoking habit. Hearing that was such a relief, I had high biluribim (sp?) levels when I started at the clinic, which can signal liver issues, and I had a slightly high white blood cell count so I was a bit worried. All of that seems to have fixed itself though...the dr. said a lot of it was prob due to my drug use. I'm so glad I'm off that stuff now!
Oh! And the bf and I are absolutely perfect these days! We've both been working a lot, so we treasure our time together, but my bartending job still lets me have Fri nights, all day sat, and sometimes all day sun (but always sun morning) off as well. Idk how I was lucky enough to find a restaurant job that lets me have weekends off for time with a bf, but I found it! We went hiking this past weekend with a big group of my friends and had such a good time. We were talking just last week about our relationship and stuff, and he said he thinks that he and I are in the best place we've ever been in throughout this entire relationship we've had together..I couldn't agree more either

We're so happy. I'm so glad I found methadone, it's really changed my life and made everything fall back into place.
Sorry I haven't updated much. Work kicks my ass, and I cherish the bit of time I have off..but, like I said, I'll have my laptop free (I hate typing on my phone...fat fingers, lol) now so I should be around more often. You guys are awesome and I hope you forgive me for my disappearing acts lately. I'm still doing so good, promise
