" A love for the turnip"

[Murdoch Henderson]

Aye, ya hard bastard
tough at the ootside
but orange in the middle o ye.

Ye fair rattle my dentures at first attempt o ye
but I tough it oot
and ye jist crumble
away tae mush
weepy eyed bugger.

It's heaven in the mooth
when I take a fork o yer insides
wi the kerrs pinks
and oor national dish.
My belly could rumble the clock roond
as I wait yon tangy cloak o your's tae burst!

Once I'm finished wi yer main body
I'll fling the rest o ye on a muckle plate
and salt ye up
steeped in the pan aw night
and the morn
I'll have ye for the denner.

*For Auld John Donald fae Boonraw. Died in 1979 then had the cheek tae come alive again in 1991. He's deed again though*

 

[Suki_Nova]

Murdoch, you are the colour in my heart. Come, drive me away on your tractor of love

And uh, feel free to have a good plough...

 

[Murdoch Henderson]

Och, young un'....You've fair got me mithered, speaking like that!

 

[Suki_Nova]

I long to feel your earth-caked hands upon my turnip-like buttocks!!

 

[jaymie]

do i dare ask who be the ghost writer?