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Mental Health A&E for suicide prevention?

Pagey

Pagey

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 11, 2012
Messages
9,428
Location
The Valley of Ashes
Hi,
I went to see my therapist earlier today and she told me I need to go to the A&E (ER) asap because she's worried I might try to kill myself. I've been extremely unstable these past couple of months and having been sleeping an average of 3hours a night these past couple weeks, she doesn't want me to be alone with my thoughts tonight.
It sounds like a good idea but I dunno. I'm worried they might call someone (even though I've got no family in the country), or keep me at the hospital, or I dunno. I'm worried.
Does anyone have any experience with this?
thanks
 
Are YOU worried about what you might do? If so, it's a simple answer: GO! Be on the safe side...
 
Yeah I am. But I'm just in a ridiculously anxious state of mind right now and I want to make sure they're not going to inform anyone else because I just couldn't live with myself if I start worrying my family or whatever :(
 
Would it be worse to worry your family, or completely devastate them?. If you need to go to be safe, it seems like a no brainer. Ultimately, I think you probably know yourself best. I'd hate to have to read that something happened. Also, I'm pretty sure that you can choose to have them not contact anyone. I'm not positive about that, but it seems likely if you are over 18. Stay strong and keep us posted.
 
I'm sorry your having such a hard time pagey. I've also had a rough week and been extremely discouraged because I can't stop seeing life as a never-ending suffering realm where 80% is work and 20% is play. My life isn't even all that hard but I feel overburdened. But it's because I'm finishing my senior year of college and going somewhere with life. I'm healing in sobriety and it takes time. But I know depression all to well. And Pagey Id encourage you to hold on and get off whatever drugs your using. Spend some time sober with a clear head, I can guarentee if you will do that you'll feel better. If you just told yourself, "okay for February I won't do any drugs" I bet you'll notice a profound change in attitude. Remember, attitude and perception is everything. And if we tell ourselves negative stuff we'll feel negative. A lot of people care for you here, lifes hard i know, but be honest with yourself, do you really want to be dead? Think deeply about what that entails.
 
if you think you are a danger to yourself then go and tell them not to contact anybody and then it's out of your control and whatever happens happens and at least you'll be safe. Remember that nothing in life comes without struggle. It's only through struggle that we achieve anything and go anywhere, so it's not all for nothing, it will make you a better person in the end. Sorry to hear things are so rough, if you're only sleeping 3 hours a night, there's some sort of problem and maybe seeing a psychiatrist if you aren't already may help. Sleep is absolutely essential if you want to feel stable.
 
If you present yourself to A&E and are considered a danger to yourself, you will be sectioned under the Mental Health Act. This will have serious consequences. Firstly your studies will suffer and there are trivial things like car insurance and stuff like that (silly I know but true). If you are seriously considering killing yourself then go. Having a couple of doctor friends, they have criteria you have to fulfill. Suicidal ideation is one thing, it gets serious when you have chosen a time and method to complete the task. But losing your liberty for 28 days is a small price to pay for keeping alive. I don't check this site much but I worked from home today and gave the site a quick look.

I thought things were going well Pagey, can't you hit up your parents for some money to go the Priory for a week (about 5 grand). It doesn't go on your record and to be honest when I visited a friend in a state facility it was a scary place. Unfortunately mental health still has a huge stigma in this country and believe or not I do worry about you. If you want to PM me feel free as being sectioned may be the start of a dramatic slide into oblivion. Dan (my school friend who was sectioned) was sectioned 5 times before killing himself. Not trying to scare you just telling you that it's no small thing getting put in mental hospital. Take care,
 
Pagey, I read this post earlier and you have been on my mind since, so I am going to tell you what I have been thinking.

It is so hard to see all of the struggles you are going through, because it is very obvious that you are a smart, beautiful, compassionate person with great taste in music and literature. To me, looking at you, it seems like you have it all.

I went through a very similar thing as you the year that I left home for university. My underlying issues were probably not the same, but I went through years of angst, depression, feeling like I let my family down, psych visits, self harm. It was a really dark period in my life, really dark and hopeless seeming.

So, 17 years later, I look back at my 19 year old self and wish I could tell her to just hold on, that things really would get better. But I obviously can't say that to myself, so I am going to say it to you. Just hold on.

I am in no way trying to minimize what you are going through right now....it is real, it is insidious and it seems hopeless. I know. But if you can just do whatever you can to make it through, to survive, I can promise you that no matter what path your life takes, you will look back on your 19 year old self when you are 36 and want to reassure her that life will be good. That there will be times of depression, and times of joy. That there will be times of loneliness and times of love. That there will be times of struggle and times of plenty.

And overall, you will feel that the good has outweighed the bad and you are living the exact life you were meant to live. I can promise you this because even though this is just the Internet, I can see very clearly that you are a winner. You have the attributes that you need to be a success in life. You just need some time to fully realize your own greatness. It is there.

So, if you are feeling like you need to go somewhere tonight to keep from doing yourself harm, do it. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe and make it through this shitstorm. Fuck how everyone else may react...this is your life we are talking about and it is precious.

You help so many people out here at Bluelight. You have so much to give that you have not even begun to realize it yet. Huge hugs to you tonight.
 
Thanks for that post Beachcat. It's spot on. I've been there myself, have the scars to prove it. You know what? I can't even remember what was going on that drove me to a suicide bid. It certainly wasn't bad enough it required action that drastic whatever it was, and I'm just so glad I had the good sense to bandage myself up and call myself an ambulance. Every single person I have ever spoken to who either seriously thought about killing themselves or actually tried has said the same thing to me: they are glad they did not succeed. All things will pass, in time. All you have to do is hold on.

Pagey, if your therapist was so concerned I wonder why they didn't intervene right there? If you present at A&E you will more than likely be seen by a psychiatrist and a mental health social worker to assess you. There is a chance of being sectioned. They will probably try to avoid that if at all possible unless they're worried that you are in imminent danger of a suicide attempt. As in, actively suicidal with a plan formed and the wherewithal to actually do it. Suicidal ideation by itself probably is not enough to warrant sectioning as far as you being a danger to yourself goes. Both occasions when I've been assessed, once after my suicide attempt, another when I was arrested for my own protection out of my mind in full on psychosis mode on psychedelics we just talked about what was going on with me for a while. That in itself was enough. They contacted my doctor about upping my meds, talked about getting some more support in the outside world, counselling and such like, I left once they were happy any immediate crisis was over. They did not contact my mother IIRC. They may do if they feel they need to involve them as a protective measure for you. Your folks ain't gonna be able to do all that much for you in France so I dunno how they'd jump on that. Anyways . . .

If you yourself feel you are a danger to yourself you must ring 999 or present yourself to A&E, please. It's not so much what your therapist feels, it's what you feel. Please make the call if you feel you need to. We do not want to lose you Pagey, you are loved here. Hold on. <3
 
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Thanks very much for the answers & support people <3
I wasn't really considering suicide last night, it's just that I was feeling extremely unstable from lack of sleep (+ I was withdrawing) and I literally just burst into tears in my therapist's office for the first time ever and even kept wanting to cry for no apparent reason on the bus back home etc. I was just feeling really vulnerable and knowing myself, it's the sort of state that could lead me to making very impulsive decisions, hence the worry. That's exactly how I was acting in the few hours before last time I tried to kill myself.
Luckily I managed to talk to a friend who calmed me down and although I still felt like shit all night, I didn't think there was any immediate concern anymore.
Sepher, I don't think she could take much action other than tell me to go to the hospital, really. I think she was hoping they might give me some meds to calm me down or something. I was planning on going at first because I was on the verge of hysteria and I thought talking to a professional some more would help, but as you & captaincaveman mentioned, there's the risk of being sectioned and I just don't want to take that risk. I know it's nothing compared to suicide but just...no. Hence the thread, I was wondering if anyone had had any previous experience with going to A&E for such reasons.

Thanks again. I'm happy to have learned a bit more about this and I'll consider it if I ever feel like that again but only really as a last resort, I think.
 
Have you ever been to an in-patient psychiatric facility, Pagey?

I have. Although I have not been in about four years, I have many times. It can be a great experience. Sometimes when life seems to be attacking you from all sides, it is good to go somewhere where you can relax and just think for a while in a neutral environment. Their objective is not to keep you indefinitely, so there is no need to worry about that. You get to talk with a doctor on a daily basis, attend different types of group therapy, be with some often times good people who may be going through some of the same issues that you are, and so fourth. They will also offer you medication, which is ultimately your decision, which could also be beneficial. The best part, in my experience, is that it gives you some time to step out of society for a while, and like I said, just relax in a neutral environment and get your thoughts together.
 
Did a search on your posts this morning Pagey after first reading this, was relieved to see you posting this morning. :)

Just further to the risk of being sectioned. Others might disagree here but unless they think you're gonna actually try to kill yourself at the first opportunity if they let you out they'll try to avoid bringing you in. Ironically secure mental health wings ( somewhat different in atmosphere to the in-patient facilities Jackie's just mentioned ) are not necessarily conducive to good mental health you see, they're the last place you'd want to put someone already feeling a bit suicidal, it would generally be counter-productive to bring someone in as far as their mood went, and other possible consequences of being sectioned impacting on real life in the outside world. Work, college, relationships and such like. The docs I saw refused to take me even when I pleaded with them somewhat hysterically when they first saw me. What they did was sit me somewhere quiet for a while, come and see me again, and once I was calm and rational again ( I'd downed a litre of bacardi in less than five minutes before my attempt, major contribution there, obviously. ) off I went. What they gave me was a time out with some supervision. That's all that was needed.

So, never be afraid to go to A&E if you think the alternative might be that you will harm yourself. The risk of not doing so massively outweighs the risk to you making the call and getting yourself there, OK. Just for future ref. ;)
 
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Pagey said:
Thanks very much for the answers & support people <3
I wasn't really considering suicide last night, it's just that I was feeling extremely unstable from lack of sleep (+ I was withdrawing) and I literally just burst into tears in my therapist's office for the first time ever and even kept wanting to cry for no apparent reason on the bus back home etc. I was just feeling really vulnerable and knowing myself, it's the sort of state that could lead me to making very impulsive decisions, hence the worry. That's exactly how I was acting in the few hours before last time I tried to kill myself.
Luckily I managed to talk to a friend who calmed me down and although I still felt like shit all night, I didn't think there was any immediate concern anymore.
Sepher, I don't think she could take much action other than tell me to go to the hospital, really. I think she was hoping they might give me some meds to calm me down or something. I was planning on going at first because I was on the verge of hysteria and I thought talking to a professional some more would help, but as you & captaincaveman mentioned, there's the risk of being sectioned and I just don't want to take that risk. I know it's nothing compared to suicide but just...no. Hence the thread, I was wondering if anyone had had any previous experience with going to A&E for such reasons.

Thanks again. I'm happy to have learned a bit more about this and I'll consider it if I ever feel like that again but only really as a last resort, I think.
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Hey bubba, glad to see you're back on the forums. You didn't seem that down last night! Maybe a little but I thought you were still in a lovely bubbly mood as always! :) you beat yourself up too much my dear, you're a star. Really really really don't go to A&E here as said before they can section you and you really don't want that. If you ever feel this bad that you have to go to hospital ring me and you can come stay at mine okay! I promise you, we'll eat popcorn and watch adventure time like we planned to!! <3
 
I wish i could give you some good stories about people going to the ER or psych ward for immediate risk of suicide but i would be lying to you if i did. Just about everyone i know who has gone to either has gotten no sympathy at all and just treated like overall shit. Ive never gone myself (though fuck knows i probably should have more then a few times) but i know more then a few people that have. At best they will give you something to calm you the fuck down and refer you to a shrink. At worst you will get a ass load of haldol and put on a forum where they can lock you up as long as they want to.

Saying that however if it does manage to save your life then it is worth it. Your a awesome person pagey and i am very glad to have gotten to know you :) .It would be a fucking travesty if you checked out early due to suicide. You are young and have so much to offer the world and i have no doubt things will get better for you in time. Not to mention the people that love you such as friends and family would be fucking gutted. Myself included.

Keep your head up <3
 
PA, IME of A&E, nothing like what you suggest. Pagey and I are UK yeah, not sure where you are? She'll probably find things very much like I did. I was a complete pain in the arse to them having to stitch up a drunk when I first arrived, I was dealt with professionally, courteously and with genuine concern all the same at all times. Everything that followed as far as giving me chance to calm down in the hours it took to recover from the booze and talk calmly to the guys assigned to assess me all still on A&E wing, nowhere near a secure ward at any stage. They sent police to fetch me when I stormed off in a huff still very, very drunk and tired of being there getting a taxi home who took me back to A&E wing cos they hadn't checked me out yet, I was a risk to myself, but all A&E at all times. I wish drugs had been available, but beyond paracetamol for pain, no. You'd probably get 5mg diazepam if it was needed to calm your shit a little maybe. Otherwise no, not at any stage really, the immediate crisis is not a medicable one beyond that really. Your friends horror stories don't match my reality, at all.
 
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Thanks very much for the new answers.

Jackie jones - no, I haven't. With regards to my mental health I haven't done anything aside from regular visits to a counsellor & a psychiatrist. I guess that does sound like it could be beneficial, I'm just a little hesitant because of the stigma, I guess...which makes me feel stupid but well. I will consider it, it sounds like something that could help me right now.

synthetix & PA, well I've spoken to you guys since so I won't answer again here. Thanks to both of you <3

Sepher, it's good to know your experience at A&E was positive. Honestly I think I might go tomorrow. I'm having another breakdown of sorts tonight, have gone back to hurting myself and I just don't think I can deal with myself any more at the moment and I need help. They'll know what to do I guess, but I just can't be alone anymore.
 
^Honestly if I were in the same shoes as you, I would consider inpatient for a short visit. The little bit of time away from your normal day to day life can do wonders even if you're just coloring in coloring books. You know what you need to do for you. I know it can be a hard decision, but I do regret times when I didn't go to inpatient myself because I think I would have recovered at least a little faster. Lots of love. <3
 
^yeah i have to agree, if the care in the UK is as described at least. PA is right about Canada, they will fuck you with seroquel/sedatives for 72 hours and if you can make it out of that haze you can get yourself checked out but i imagine enough people get severely over medicated when first treated and then barely have enough cognitive function whether they are healthy or not. I've never gone to a psych ward after visiting my dad in one when he was caught up in a severe manic high and couldn't calm down. He was drowsey and medicated as fuck for those 3 days, i think he actually ended up staying a week but either way it was FUCKING scary to see, especially the other patients... still vivid memory for me, not a place i would want to go to any day.
 
Yeah the mental health care system is a fucking joke in Canada. It is by far the most underfunded part of the health care system and under our current government that is saying alot. A guy i know got pinned down by a few security guards and given a assload of Clopixol which is a anti-psychotic that makes Haldol look fun :\ . When he finally came to 3 days later he found out he was put on a forum for a 2 week stay. All the while he was doped up to the gills on haldol and other lovely drugs.

My one experience with a psych ward was when i had to go to one to get a psychiatric evaluation after getting out of jail. No lie jail didn't scare me one bit but the lovely psych hospital did send chills down my spine. After a 5 hour wait i was evaluated by the biggest cunt of a doctor i have ever met and was basically yelled at for half a hour by this lunatic of a doctor then let go even though i said i was suicidal. Thank fuck i was let go though cause i did not want to stay in there.

But in the UK they actually seem to treat patients like humans so i actually wouldn't mind going to a psych hospital over there. Here they don't even treat psychiatric patients in the ER anymore they send you right over to the psych hospital which really has to be seen to know why it's so scary. It looks like something out of the movie one flew over the cuckoos nest ffs. The hospital dates back to the 1800's and there have been few improvements made there since then. I would only recommend anyone to go to a psych hospital in Canada if they where absolutely dead set on killing themselves as i have never seen anyone come out of one feeling better. My exes friend had a 6 month stay in one and when she finally got out it took about 5 days for the drugs to fully wear off so she could be coherent at all. She was never really the same after actually. It was like someone had turned out the lights in her head and she lost all interest in painting or writing both of which she did just about everyday previously no matter how depressed she was. I went with my ex to visit her there once and she was like a total zombie. She was a very good friend of my exes but everything she said including the I love you's was said in a completely emotionless voice.

It's really sad to see the state of the mental health system here when people are so afraid of going to a psych ward that they would rather kill themselves then risk being put on a forum.

I hope you feel better soon Pagey. You are a really awesome beautiful chick and i wish nothing but the best for you <3
 
Hi Pagey

I know quite a few er nurses from the UK, and the system is pretty similar to here in Aus so they tell me.

If you present to the ED voluntarily and you aren't under the influence, you most likely won't be placed under a section. They use that for 'at risk' patients, those who don't want to be here but are suicidal or too intoxicated to make rational decisions. hthey shouldn't call anyone in your family unless you co nsent to it.

I have read a few of your posts and you seem like a genuinely beautiful soul. I hope you have some good friends to call on so you dont have to be alone If you are feeling that bad please don't hesitate to go, I know there's some horror stories here but every hospital is different. An I belive that the NHS has cleaned its act up a lot in the last few years.

Please don't be put off reaching out, it must be horrible to be feeling so low but I can promise you that things will shift and it will be brighter tomorrow.

Much love to you
 
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