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A Box of Toys For Brains- PD SpaceBar

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karma1485 said:
Morning PD <3 I had a restless night last night (Im now going on 36 hours clean from H and intend to stay that way). I can not tell you how badly I wish I had never tried opiates... because despite the HELL ive put my body and mind through the past week or so I KNOW that somewhere down the line I'll mutter the words "fuck it lets just go get another bundle." :( It has this peaceful beautiful allure, but I've come to the decision that if you cant sustain your habit (which you CAN NOT living on unemployment) its best just to stop for good. Or to just stop for good for yourself. Sorry for rambling on about this... its just something that im going through right now and I love my PD family and the support I get from ya'll <3
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HUGS my friend <3

You're a strong person!

replacements are the main thing that helps me. Find replacements. Orgasms are close to (can even be better!) than the rush from injecting. Laying in sunshine is better than the feeling of being on heroin. Doing both of those things regularly (chillin in your sun room <3) will help your brain rewire away from wanting to use that stuff.

You have to be strong and clean this summer we're going to run around all over the place and have fun :D
 
Costa Rica

costa%20rica%20sunset.jpg
 
Being clean for this summer is definitely a great motivation for me to stay clean. I wouldn't want to miss the tour because I cant leave jersey cause i'm to strung out. This year is going to be so much fun and Im going to make it the first one in years that I wasnt shooting dope all summer. Ive wasted far too many like that and this year I'm changing all of that. I'm finished with being addicted too shit , it's just not worth it. The Dead Tour is surely a great reason to break free in my opinion :D

Those Look beautiful GP :)
 
morning everyone! Karma good work, keep it up! I can't imagine how tough that is...

GP, those costa rica pics are beautiful! Anybody ever feel like everything in life is moving way too fast or just kinda wonder where all this time has gone? I feel like that and im kinda havin a hard time bc school makes it kinda hard for me to sit back and try to get some perspective and reflection. It's taking its toll on me and I don't know what to do.
 
costa rica is gonna be badass!

next winter me and a few travlin friends i met are gonna take an armada of sailboats down there before we go to panama!
 
when exactly bro

i think i'm heading down as soon as hurricane season has passed (I want to chill with peeps in NC and surf some hurricane waves in NC and not be stuck camping in Costa rica during a hurricane)
 
^^ you all are the sweetest! And yes getting nice and healthy and sober for summer is a MUST... right now Im just sitting here feeling sorry for myself, no sunshine today :( crying more than I have in a long time... feels therapeutic tho. <3 I think I'll go take a bath... You know what the worst of it is? I tell my folks everything... but I havent been able to tell them about this, and I want to pick up the phone and just cry to my mom, but then something tells me not too.

On the plus looks like Im defiantly going to be making at least 2 dates of the dead tour <3 :)
 
I don't want to be a killjoy but the idea that you can use opiates recreationally after having been addicted to them is unfeasible - for everyone I ever knew anyway.

But good luck with it anyway Charlie. :)

Good luck to you also karma :) - however you tend make your own luck regarding breaking negative habits IME. ;)
 
B9 said:
I don't want to be a killjoy but the idea that you can use opiates recreationally after having been addicted to them is unfeasible - for everyone I ever knew anyway.

But good luck with it anyway Charlie. :)

Good luck to you also karma :) - however you tend make your own luck regarding breaking negative habits IME. ;)
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I'm proof of that. It's really hard to use something sparingly that you were once requiring in your everyday routine.

Good luck to you Charlie, and be well :)<3
 
So I am feeling a bit better mentally now. Andy was a sweetheart and talked me through my morning <3 And delsyd is ever present and worrying about me while hes out workin and goin to school. It is a beautiful thing to be loved. <3

Baths are quite therapeutic... wash away all that heroin :) I'll be back to myself soon enough. I want to start running again, get those positive endorphins flowing :) Now if I could only not feel like complete shitttteee I will get right on that.
 
Im doing good I dont plan on using anything like that anytime to soon. After I stopped drinking I started thinking about all the stuff I was doing that wasn't really helping and I cut it out. I did a little oxy the other day and Im just leaving it at that for now. Ive just been hanging around people who arent into it and I havent been using too much lately
 
^^ thats not for the likes of you to know^^
*wicked cackle laugh*

just kidding.. Any moderator can change a thread titile... not sure who you have to thank for this one :) <3
 
just went back and read through this thread a bit and noticed the talk of Heroin addiction.

I was feeling pretty dope sick yesterday, as karma and I are quiting together. Anyway to take away some of the sick feeling i took a few mg's of xanax and drank a couple beers.
It made me feel a little better, and then i got the one of those brilliant(not-so-brilliant?) xanax ideas and decided it was the right thing to pop 20ish mg of 2c-d and smoke some headies.

Well for the next few hours a was nothing but smiles and giggles. Didnt feel the slightest bit sick. I even took a hit off an empty machine and got maybe 5-10mg of DMT into me. I havent smoked DMT in months (maybe even a year now, i dont keep track). :)
It felt Great, i fealt alive <3

Ofcourse once the psychedelics wore off i was back to feeling sickly again, but it motivated me to stay away.
Id love to trip on a clear head and a clear conscious. Yesterday reminded me of how great and therapeutic the psychedelic mind set can be.

Today i still feel blegh, but with hope. Hope of feeling better in a few days, hope of returning to my passions, not being dependant on any substance to feel normal and happy.
And yes DEADTOUR. it is official. i will be at at least a few shows. Need to be healthy for that, and save my money for grilled cheese and... <3

Love you all.

be safe and take care of your bodies and souls.

<3
 
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