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Cocaine 4 months in, worried

legendboy

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
1
Hi All,

I have been in and out of recovery for over 30 years (aa), chronic relapser.

I haven’t lost everything, I am a working professional, recently divorced, two beautiful kids.

Been on a bit of a bender coming up on a year now since my ex wife moved out.

I am also prolapse stage long term benzo addict (had a bad shrink) and am only taking 15mg diaz nightly to stay out of withdrawal. My doctors think I am doing great with that.

So I met someone 4 months ago who I sold a car too, we became friends. He introduced me to crack and it’s been a bit of a whirlwind.

So 4 months later, I am smoking daily. Started having a puff in the mornings as soon as I wake up. Smoking at work now and all evening. Weekends add K into the mix.

I’m scared at what I might be facing when I stop, basically I just can’t financially afford it.

I know many people in the rooms who have lost everything including limbs and life to this drug.
My drinking has almost come to a complete stop, which I was not expecting.

Have had some really incredible insights into my life and massive change in perspective but.

I know this must stop. I’ve worked too hard to let this take me down. Since I first went to treatment at 16 until now 48, my life has been on a trajectory to get well, to be sober. I just haven’t found it in aa.

What am I facing when I stop smoking with regards to withdrawal? This is the first time in my life I’ve smoked crack and I really have no idea, but I hear it is not fun.

I’m worried. I know we are all different but just wanted to hear from you how this goes or any advice how to minimize the withdrawal symptoms. Or maybe I am fuck3d?

Any insight is greatly appreciated
 
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